I think the best way to figure out what I want in a man is to realize what a man might appreciate in me. Perhaps it's my voice or the way my hair smells, the way I laugh easily or my tendency to rub his shoulders when he's seated and I'm standing. It could be my intensity about everything I do, the way I read my writing out loud, or the way I start dancing and singing for no reason. Perhaps it's my morning friskiness.
The things I might find about him that make me feel bonded could include his ability to talk all night with me about all kinds of subjects from ghosts to Bigfoot, spirituality to dream vacations in brilliant nerd talk. It might be the way he ruffles his hair when he's trying to be diplomatic and not say what he's really thinking, that he can fall asleep during a sitcom or the way he pats me in his sleep whenever I turn over during the night. Or, that he laughs when in the middle of a trash-ridden abandoned site, I tell him I'm fondling my nipples and he spins around to witness this (above) and laughs.
His job? His looks? And, all the other "big" things? Love isn't born there, interest is.
Love is born from the littlest things.