Sunday, September 26, 2010

Martha Stewart Does Halloween Dammit!


I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of Martha Stewart. I think the woman seriously needs to get fucked. That being said, I still cannot help myself every Halloween but let her profit from me one time a year when I purchase the October issue of her magazine. It's a guilty pleasure and other than her putting her stiffened face in every photo, I appreciate the creativity her grunts (who do all the work) put into the issue. If you want to look back at the past 10 years of these fantastic issues look here.

To me, it isn't October until I have a copy of this in my paws and I have the time and space to really study it. The photography is beautiful, the sets amazing, and the ideas innovative. One particular issue was my favorite of all time: 2005, "Magical Moments." It was filled with very traditional New England feeling Halloween ideas and images, rather organic, spotted gourds, creative Halloween party ideas, creepy witches and black cats. This year's issue is a collector's one for being the 10th issue. I don't give a frig about collector status, I will wear this magazine down to a nub over the years. Each September, I spread the magazines out on the coffee table and relive the amazing ideas. If you want to be inspired for Halloween, steeped in the traditional mood of it, inspired to give a party, then keep the ice princess in business and let her profit from you buying an issue. I hate to encourage her to continue her stilted TV show and her obnoxious and contrived dialect on the air, but damn! So long as she makes these magazines, I'll hope she stays out of jail next October and the next October and the next October....

18 comments:

  1. Martha's Halloween is irresistable. I've even bought a few of her items.

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  2. wow, i never would've thought of going to her magazine for ideas!

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  3. To this day I wonder if she was anyone's bitch in jail ?

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  4. I can't imagine anyone taking her rather thorough instructions and that "tsking" sound when they do something out of step with her OCD ways.

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  5. I know a lot of people are actually pretty ticked off about this issue, because it is basically a rehash of old ideas. I could honestly care less, but I'm glad you liked it! Oh, and thanks for the nice comment on my blog. You made my day! :D

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  6. HalloweeNut;
    You carry on a special tradition. Keep it up. I'd like to showcase your blog when you have some pic's up some time of what you're doing near Halloween. I love to show what people do with their home haunts. I'll hopefully be doing a do-it-yourself vid of me transforming one of my baby dolls at some point here when I get over to the thrift store and pick out the next victim, ah, doll....

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  7. If this is that special issue, I am sold.

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  8. I love her halloween stuff. It's never cheesy. It's always stylish, creative, and often makes use of things easily obtained or might be lying around the house. When I decorate for a Halloween party, I always like to have a sophisticated decor that has a unifying theme. I often do this from things I find, repurpose, and make. A tablescape was once filled with dead branches and twigs, some painted white, some black, and some left that gray color of dead limbs. Very simple and cheap-they came from the backyard. Use cheese cloth, muslin, and other cheap fabrics to stain, rip, burn, etc... to cover a table. Gourds and pumpkins and such are often cheap if you buy them from the roadside or farmer's market. I think if you have an eye for design (or know someone who does) you can do a lot without spending a lot.

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  9. O NO YOU DIT-TEN!
    STOP TALKIN TRASH BUT MY
    MARTHA-GIRL! LOL!

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  10. Echo; Yeah, it's not like her usual issues.

    Cullan; Exactly! I did the thing with dead branches in vases and it's just so creepy, especially if you get some very real looking spiders crawling in a line up the branches.

    Cindi;
    Sorry, sweetie, but she does need to get fucked. :-)

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  11. I'm thinking that's the problem. She has been fucked. Fucked over that is.
    Or maybe she has a dark hidden side...in that case, she's probably a Dominatrix! In power but being paid for it.
    Either way, I love that she's smart and bitchy and likes things done right and has no tolerance for simpletons. I also admire how she sucked it up and did her time in jail unlike a lot of men in the banking industry. A man with her personality is aggressive and strong and looked up to and a woman is a bitch or needs to get fucked. I luv ya Autumn but we are going to have to agree to disagree on this one! XOXO- Cindi

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  12. Cindi;
    I totally get it. She's a love/hate thing. But, watch her show some time when she has a guest on. Any episode. Did she hear a word they said? Is she listening to them? Is she in her own preoccupation with what she's doing? Does she interrupt them about something that has nothing to do with what they were saying? And, does she correct them as they're doing the craft/cooking alongside her? There's not a genuine bone in her body. She can be as assertive and successful as she wants to be, but there's still not a hint of a human inside. It's the truth. There's no soul. :-)

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  13. I haven't seen her show for ages because it's on during the day when I'm gone. But did you ever see the episode where she had Conan O'Brien on? It was hysterical. She was in the kitchen trying to talk and he kept messing around with her pots and pans in a drawer. You could see that she was about to absolutely LOSE it. He kept asking if it bothered her when he moved them around and she kept denying it but trying to put her hand in the way to stop him. Yeah, she definitely has some SERIOUS issues! But then again most geniuses do.
    And then of course, I've seen her with her dogs (you HAD to know that I would bring this up LOL!)
    I think she can only truly let her guard down and be real around them...and I guess, more than anything else about her, that's what gets to me and makes me relate to her and feel protective of the old witch.

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  14. Yeah, I know a woman who is exactly like Martha and her kids wonder why her dogs are her greatest loves of her life, but she couldn't stand children messing up her house. It's pretty funny. Some people really should stick to critters instead cause they don't talk back. If her daughter pooped on the carpet, she would have remembered it forever, but I suspect if one of her chow's did, she'd have the maid clean it up and walk away. hee hee I have to laugh. She's quite a dynasty or is that die-nasty? Hahaha. I'm playing with you, honey. I think the old bat is a sharp woman and I'm glad she made homemaking an actually hip thing since all women have the housekeeping bug in them.

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  15. Ok, I'll admit it. I love a LOT of her ideas. I've been waiting for this years Halloween issue and obviously it's now out. I see a bookstore trip in my VERY near future to spend my last, what? $10 on her anniversary issue? It's a guilty pleasure for me too Autumn.

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  16. Tara;
    I hate to give her credit because at this point, she probably just looks at the page layouts and nitpicks them, but she surrounds herself with workers who obviously know how to continue the themes she laid out and they get big points for that. I could care about her Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year's, but I have to have Halloween. They do cost the same as a book, but hey I keep them around forever. I have a stack of 9 of them, I believe.

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  17. That last post is why I proof my comments and now that Blogger has a spam filter, it helps.

    "Your blog like I much very. You to visit mine now? Not many as viruses before. Now more trojans than Indonesian hooker."

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  18. Yeah, Cullan, fuck that! I love the backdoor ways they try to leave comments these days. Yeah, cause the few people who read all the comments are going to be overtaken with backhanded ways of advertising and suddenly have to buy a purse in malaysia...

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