Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sex and the Single Ghost Hunter: Playfulness Equals Romance
I had a husband for 26 years who was without a sense of humor, never smiled, didn't laugh, and didn't understand "antics." Imagine that! We were Dharma and Greg except without the compromises on both parts.
Being divorced, I have come alive in that I can be myself 24/7 without someone frowning upon it like a frustrated parent with an ADD child. I am a playful being and that is part of me. I have a quick wit, a sense of the ridiculousness of life, and want to play. Without a playful outlet, how do any of us find the joy in life and the the resilience to handle the bad shit?
Women are admittedly romance freaks, but for us romance and playfulness are the same thing. It's not that you got us flowers, it's that you pulled your car over on the side of the road and picked the wildflowers on the way home on a whim. It's that unusual and unexpected effort, or that spontaneous action and flexibility that makes a woman feel all gooey inside. We simply like to know that you are not rigid, stuffy, preoccupied by everything but us, and can actually be in the moment with your lady. Diamonds and expensive gifts are pay-offs and we know it. But, sweet unexpected actions are signs of love.
Why not add some playfulness into your life? It helps give you and your partner a sense of being on life's adventure together instead of life's prison sentence. This winter, consider some options to add goofiness to your relationship - remember that the best partner is one who can keep you laughing through life.
Consider pulling the sheet back over you both, using a pillow to prop it up and have a secret talk under the sheet like in childhood.
Have a spontaneous snowball fight.
Make a large heart shape in the snow to be seen as he leaves for work.
Make a snow doggie sitting on his haunches with a ball in his mouth and tell your guy that you got a new German Shepherd and it's in the yard.
Get her a bubble making kits with many different wands and a large dish filled with soap, fill a tub with bubble bath and allow her to take a bath and blow amazing bubbles for fun and stress release.
Leave an inflatable doll on the bed when you say you're going into the bedroom to get ready for bed.
Get Chinese takeout, spread a blanket on the floor in front of the TV, run a Godzilla movie by candlelight, and a pile of pillows to crash back against at the end of a long work day.
Get a couple long sticks and put a plate with graham crackers, marshmallows and Hershey's bars near the hearth, set the fire in the fireplace, turn out the lights, and prepare for scary storytelling time while making smores.
A thermos of hot cocoa and a car ride at night to see the Christmas lights while playing Christmas music on the radio.
Spontaneity begins with one's ability to laugh at his own foibles. If you can take yourself lightly, then other events that come along, you can put into perspective. If in the middle of a serious conversation you can hear your own ridiculous wording and burst into laughter because you sounded like your father, then you are on the right track to not only have happiness, but spread it.