Saturday, July 23, 2011
Screw "Twilight"'s tween-aged version of vampires and werewolves and the actors who played them.
Let's get down to the important stuff: Which is better, vampire or werewolf?
I hate sunlight. No, seriously. When a cloud goes by and blots out the sun, I sigh with relief. I don't go out in the sun except on a road trip and that's purely because my night vision is for-shit. I like nighttime. My dream bedroom is pitch black, very cool, and humid; cave-like.
On the other hand, I am Autumnforest. I live for the woods and running like a wild thing, being one of the creatures of the glade. Streams, moss, lichens, ferns, and a canopy overhead are my bliss.
Rocks, paper, scissors.
Now, if a vampire has the ability to mesmerize, he could technically take down a werewolf by disabling him and draining him. If, however, he can't mesmerize another undead creature, the werewolf would tear him to pieces.
The vampire is more man-related; we see a vampire in a crowd and we think "ah, one of my own species," yet a werewolf seems to be more a part of the animal realm.
Some movies to compare:
"Wolf Man" versus "Bram Stoker's Dracula"
"The Howling" versus "The Hunger"
"Underworld" (has both) versus "Twilight" (has both)
My favorite vampire movies would include "Fright Night" and "Salem's Lot" but then I'm retro when it comes to vampires, but not so retro I really dig the romantic renditions of men who sneaked into women's bedrooms and drank from them and mesmerized. Other than the idea of a man biting my neck (anything involving the neck turns me on), I don't see the romance in vampires. They seem rather self-absorbed and vain.
Another thing that isn't as attractive about vampires is that there is little or not transformation. They can approach you as a human-looking person and so there is no suspense. A werewolf, however, must transform and the real terror comes when you see what you will be up against materializing before your eyes. Here's an example, Nick Swardson's hilarious standup about being stabbed which reminds me of what being attacked by a werewolf be like:
My favorite werewolf movies are the original "Wolf Man" but I also like the remake (the plot was a convoluted mess) but the effects were stunning. I adore "The Howling" and "Wolf," as well. "An American Werewolf in London" was excellent, too. Honestly, any monster who resides in the woods and runs with the creatures of the night is going to get my attention.
This is what I want to know:
Who is more powerful--werewolf or vampire?
Who is more sexy--werewolf or vampire?
If you had to be one--which one?
at 9:30 AM