AUTUMN: Dale and I have had to put aside our differences during his more-than-usually-difficult month of October. You see, I brought in Skittles the Clown to try and intimidate Dale into behaving. His "possessed" doll ways leading up to Halloween were exhausting me.
DALE: Yeah, well, you try and be possessed by a mad sorcerer and see how cooperative you are, huh?
AUTUMN: Dale, please let me speak.
DALE: Technically, Human, you aren't speaking; you're writing.
AUTUMN: (rolls her eyes and huffs) As I was saying, I brought in Skittles the Clown to keep things in order since the only thing Dale fears is clowns.
DALE: And humans with hare-brained ideas.
AUTUMN: Well, it appears that Skittles is a quiet fellow. He doesn't speak. Ever. He just stares at us with his raised eyebrows and eyes the color the blackest night.
DALE: (chuckles) The Human has a way with words.
AUTUMN: Although he's keeping Dale in order, he is also intimidating me, as well. Both Dale and I find ourselves frozen in fear around him. And, whenever we try to sneak away, the clown doll finds us and stares at us like...
DALE: Like he knows what we're thinking (whispers and looks around nervously).
AUTUMN: (nods briskly) In fact, the only way we're able to write this post is that I found one thing that distracts him. He loves horror movies. I'm playing one right now for him.
DALE: Which one?
AUTUMN: "Poltergeist."
DALE: Oh, freaking hell, Human! Do you want to give him ideas?
AUTUMN: (puzzled) What do you mean?
DALE: The scene. You remember, the scene with the clown doll that pulls the kid under the bed (shivers)
AUTUMN: Oh shit!
DALE: Yeah, the human says that all the time because she acts before thinking.
AUTUMN: I think we better interrupt the movie. We'll keep you updated on our hostage situation, I mean, um, our Skittles the Clown situation.
Sounds like you guys are going to have long Halloween unless Skittles can break his bad habits.
ReplyDeleteDon't you know it! I'm actually going on an overnight hunt tomorrow and I can't decide if I should show mercy and take Dale or leave him with Skittles. Jeez, I hope he doesn't read this or he'll know my plans. I've been hiding my overnight case and equipment so he doesn't know yet.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Skittles talks. but its probably in rhyme. Wow that even creepier when you think about it !
ReplyDeleteDale you naughty, naughty puppet. Always interrupting the ladies.
ReplyDeleteFreaking hell! I hope he doesn't talk in rhymes with a sing-song voice. I think I'd have to light him on fire or something...
ReplyDeleteCB;
ReplyDeleteSee what I have to live with!
You know, if Skittles ever gets homesick, maybe you should show him Tod Browning's FREAKS movie. He's probably seen it before, but for that little creep, it would be like cinematic comfort food.
ReplyDeleteWord Verification: "Whitie" - well this is the first time I've been racially assaulted by Blogger. Weird!
I think Skittles needs to go. In Alabama, our govenor brought in alligators to take care of the beaver population. We don't have any beavers, but pulling a gator out of your neighborhood lake is a problem. I think skittles is your gator.
ReplyDeleteI can just picture Dale's little terrified face peeking over your shoulders as you try and write this. He better get used to Skittles, I don't think it is going anywhere anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteAt least you weren't letting him watch Chucky.....or have you?
ReplyDeleteDo you know where your knives are?
Jessica;
ReplyDeleteGood point! I think I'm realizing that now.
Julie;
Yeah, Dale is cowering.
MM;
I have the knives well hidden, thank goodness!
HalloweeNut;
ReplyDeleteEveryone on here gets those crazy word verifications only on my blog--wonder what blogger has against me and mine?
I think Skittles slipped some of his calling cards into my package.
ReplyDeleteI hope I am not getting poisoned.
I suggest you, Dale, and his harem; run away from home. Or? Dismember him and stuff pieces in to various dumpers around town.
ReplyDeleteJust a thought... hehehe
Good luck to all of you!!