Monday, April 19, 2010
Dale the Doll: She Should Be Scared of Me
(Another installment written by my home decoration, a ventriloquist doll named Dale. He likes to get up at night from his display and wander the house. He thinks I don’t know he blogs, but I run across his posts…he’s not that smart)
I wander the house at night. What else is there to do while the world is silent? I’m used to the TV running, the radio blaring, the human knocking around pots and pans and laughing on the telephone.
I don’t need people, but I do need their noise.
My first stop of the evening is the human’s bedroom. She sleeps funny. I noticed that she has some kind of long weird pillow she wraps her body around when she sleeps. It looks most awkward to me. Her hair is everywhere and I can barely see her face. One time, I made some noise to see if she would open her eyes and stare at me. I laughed so hard, imaging her horror at having my face so near hers when she was unsuspecting. But, she ignored my attempts at waking her. Just as well, I will find another way to frighten her. She is not easy to spook, but I am ever determined.
I overheard the human and I think she is planning to take me on some kind of road trip in May. I do so hope Miss Julie is coming along, I would like more time on her lap! I think the human is hoping to pose me in haunted locations and abandoned spots to do a series of me being a creepy thing in creepy places. She does not understand the seriousness of my threat. I am not a baby doll or some other benign toy. I am a ventriloquist doll, the embodiment of being human-like and even speaking, and yet having no soul…
Do you know why ventriloquist dolls like their lives? Because their owners put their hand up inside us and move our mouths, saying all the things we wish to say about the humans. When you hear the banter on the stage, that is really us willing our words onto our owners. It is a remarkable life. We get to voice our very deepest and resentful feelings towards the living…