Thursday, November 7, 2013

Is Bigfoot a Berry Crack Whore?




Is Bigfoot a Berry Crack Whore?

This concept of mine started out with me seeing a show where monkeys were stealing beers from local diners somewhere in the world. Can't recall where, but I'll take a wild stab it might have been India or Indonesia. Anyhow, the monkeys were hooked.

I remembered as a kid, my father was in the alcohol recovery business, putting in programs around the world. One time, he mentioned a study done on monkeys that showed that they become hooked on alcohol just like humans, that they even would eat overripe berries that had fermented to get a buzz.

Then, my mind went to the tendency for man and ape to apparently like to get high and I wondered about Bigfoot. He would certainly fall victim to the same desire his genus homo relatives do. If BF is eating a serious shitload of overly ripe berries at the end of season, might he take more risks to get his buzz? Might he wander out where he's seen more often? Might he be seen more often because his inhibitions diminish and his guard isn't up?

Maybe not so severe as spring break partiers on the beach, but something like that.

So, the only thing left of researchers is to see if he is sighted more often during the time of year that local berries are overly ripe on the vine. It might even help them figure out more accurately where he's traveling along the countryside as he follows the ripening berries and narrow the field of possible locations at any given time of the year.

Of course, the notion of Bigfoot puking on his buddies and mooning the crowd in the thick of heavy drinking is entertaining, but I am definitely on the run should he decide he can do Karoke. I must draw the line with BF's rendition of "Every Rose Has its Thorns."

That said, what do y'all think? Theory has merit or not?



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