Thankfully, with more and more indie moviemakers out there, Hollywood's regurgitated remakes will be a faint memory.
Yeah, it's true. When you have a successful relationship and its run its course, you might realize you should stick with what worked before. Well, that's sort of Hollywood's take on why they redo perfectly well-honed horror movies.
5 WORST HORROR MOVIE REMAKES
The Fog (they tried to make a backstory that didn't exist and then create a focus more like a 90210 episode for late teens/young adults than for horror lovers)
The Haunting (what the hell was that? They tried to add depth and explanation to the classic Shirley Jackson tale and it was such a dishonor and abomination, I don't know where to begin. Once again, Hollywood thought - throw in some big actors and we'll buy it).
Halloween (Not a fan of anything Rob Zombie vomits up, but G'lord! This is one horror movie that is so classic, like "Night of the Living Dead," that it should never ever be tampered with.)
When a Stranger Calls (I can almost forgive them for assuming we wanted to see a cat and mouse chase between babysitter and bloodthirsty killer, but the twist that was in the original film has lost its fear factor today.)
The Thing 1982. (I know folks liked it, but the special effects made me giggle. It felt like a convoluted mess, but of course I didn't mind watching Kurt for 1hr 49m).
5 HORROR FILMS WE SHOULD REMAKE
Honestly, I generally feel don't touch the classics unless you think you can make them more vibrant and pace them better. Otherwise, there are some amazing smaller horror films that went without notice and their ideas were novel - those are the ones you can take and no one compares.
THE CHANGELING
Plot - This 1980 film with George C. Scott was a fantastic premise. A widower moves away to another state, rents a historic home, and teaches music at the university. Seems simple enough. That is, until he finds out his big old historic rental is very haunted by a ghost that wants justice using the new renter as the catalyst.
As much as I adored this film, I feel like a more emotionally broken lead character and perhaps a newer fresher look at it would be ideal. I'd love to see someone like Adrien Brody in the lead role, perhaps Ginnifer Goodwin in the lead female role.
There were some classic scenes that need to be reenacted, like the seance and the ball bouncing down the stairs, the ghost coming out of the old well in the floorboards.
Once again, little or no CGI would be welcome, and less fouling up the backstory would help. I'd love to see some more scary scenes in the manor home. Lots of potential there.
THE INCUBUS
This 1982 horror film ran under the radar for most, but honestly it has great potential if someone would take it on with more horror.
Plot - A small town doctor has some horrifying rape cases involving some kind of strange creature or demon.
It was a very cool premise with a twist at the end, but it did not extract the amount of horror and tension it could have.
CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON
I say this gorgeous classic should be remade partly because I had my first horror crush - The Gillman, and partly because in lush color, maybe 8K filming, this could be sw-eet!
Plot - scientists come across a hand artifact of some web-fingered creature of old, so they pack up and head deep into the Amazon to find more samples, only to find one is still alive.
I worry that a remake might come off like Anaconda meets an overly CGI abomination. I'd love to see it done organically with a gorgeous setting and amazing musical score.
The creature could be less clunky today, but once again - needs to be done organically and not CGI reliant. I loved "Signs" up until we had full frontal alien.
If they do resort to casting it with a star, please let it just be one big star, and not a bunch of stars or I know it'll be a stinker like a pig wearing too much perfume to cover up the stench.
They've been talking about redoing this classic and I don't know if they ever nailed a script. Fellas, contact me! I'm a screenwriter and I've been waiting since I was a kid to write this one!
TOURIST TRAP
Another flick from the 80s that was under the radar but truly creepy without having to be a gore fest.
Plot - Young adults break down on a road that once was a big mid century interstate, but newer freeways bypassed it and it lost business. They ask for help at an old roadside museum and the man there is just a little odd. His mannequins are even odder. Are they alive? Is he insane and thinks they are alive?
There aren't many people who aren't creeped out by the uncanny valley that is a well-done mannequin. Something about dolls from small to large is offputting. But, what if they may be commanded by a creepy killer?
THE PEOPLE
Perhaps one of the worst-named horror movies, this Kim Darby 70s flick really could make a totally awesome remake!
Plot - A schoolteacher is hired by a small remote town that has trouble keeping a teacher. She begins to realize there is something unusual about the children. Then, it all becomes clear that the town adopted aliens.
I feel like this could have been taken to a higher level of unease and tension. It's a plot that would be interesting today with all the UFO and alien buzz but also with all the off-grid lifestyle being in fashion, a remote maybe off-grid town and some odd kids could be seriously unsettling. And, please, TIM BURTON, do not touch this!
Horror and romantic comedy are actually my two specialties, so screenwriting a good horror script, no trouble. What I would love is the challenge of elevating a classic without ruining the intention and the mystery.
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