(my grandfather Øivind Thorvaldsen from Trondheim)
Perhaps one of the most often asked questions about hauntings involves an individual believing they are being haunted by a relative. Sometimes they feel comforted, other times unsettled. Let's take a look at this phenomena.
Often after losing a loved one, people feel a sense of their presence. The connections, those made on a spiritual plane, are still there.
So how do we as mortals deal with feeling something that isn't in the physical? As we are not just physical beings but also spiritual energy, I would say that it would be odd if we didn't sense this energy source. We already have the deep beliefs and faith involved in feeling God's presence without actually seeing Him.
We mortals feel a separation from our loved one physically but it takes only a wee bit of insight to feel the spirit's energy continues and remains connected.
In perspective, connections remain eternally, but while we are mortal, we don't access that in a way that we can perceive until we convert to pure energy.
So, for the time being, we get out-of-the-blue thoughts of the deceased, dream about them, awake during the night and sense they are nearby, or start to experience haunting features in our home that make us wonder....
Here's some issues and what they may or may not mean -
Your home suddenly seems "haunted" after a loved one passes.
Suddenly a home that seemed pleasant and easy to predict is making sounds, objects going missing, footsteps, or voices.
You have only a few options in interpreting this.
1. You are now more alert and vigilant to changes in your environment than usual. These are things always there, but you are now noting them and attributing them to the deceased loved one.
2. You are getting some visits from a spirit. In this case, it is also impossible to tell if it is the loved one or another spirit energy and timing is making you think it's your loved one.
3. You yourself in some way are creating bursts of energy that are taking on an almost poltergeist-like activity.
So, if we are following "odds" for you having a haunting from a loved one, if there is 33% chance it is a haunting, there is a greatly reduced chance it's a relative and not just a random spirit with serendipitous timing.
What we look for in hauntings by a loved one is timing.
Most often, these occur from the moment to death until up to a couple weeks of the event. Past that point, unless there is a major disruption in your life or the arrival of a new member, such as a grandchild, it's very rare to be visited again.
Here is how I see "heaven." A photograph is a 2-dimensional facsimile of you. It contains only a brief view of your visual appearance in a moment in time, has no dimension, knowledge, cognizance, or signs of life.
One dimension past that we have our mortal selves. Only one dimensional jump and we have biology, language, intelligence, movement, and life.
To further this perspective, we are a biological facsimile of our soul which is in the next jump up on the dimensional scale.
If a photo could take on a 3D form and live a life, it could not nor would it want to go back to 2D world. It would truly understand what it had represented in 2-dimensional form and now it gets to think, breathe, eat, move around, make friends, and live a true life. It no longer relates to or feels connected to its past.
And so it would be for our loved ones. They are now a part of a universal energy that is on a different level.
The first time my father died and was brought back 4 minutes later he advised me about the beauty of the next world but also that it was REAL and this one is FAKE.
The 2D fellow would realize that same truth when he got to occupy the 3D version he was once a simple facsimile of.
We move on from this mortal state and become the source of which we were a biological facsimile.
Even further in this understanding, like we take pride in a photo that looks attractive or chapters a moment beautifully, our soul looks at our biological mortal self and pride whether it is good or bad. Designating such concepts is a human notion, but for a soul the fact that we go forth with free will and make choices in a dangerous mortal realm gives them pride and unconditional love and compassion.
In other words, we may be vain about our photographic facsimile, but soul is absolutely accepting of physical facsimile and all its bravery for taking on the human condition.
If a loved one came back briefly, it would be to reassure.
At the moment of my father's death, before the hospital called to tell us, he was in my room pulling my big toe as I slept. I looked up to see his silhouette. This is something dad did when he came home from business trips to let me know his plane arrived. In his own way, father showed up to tell his teenaged daughter that he made his destination.
Signs are the way we appreciate the connection never ends: A bird on a windowsill that flies off when our loved one dies, a song they used to sing to us popping up on the radio as we drive to the funeral, or perhaps a persistent butterfly at our office window.
Take the signs and know that we are never disconnected, we are simply limited like the 2D photographic image and unable to perceive what "real world" is.
But, for our missing loved ones, they know. They finally get the universal connection and they are with us always.
It's as simple as you acknowledging you know they are there, you appreciate it and they may move on. That simple statement can put to rest many haunting problems.
We only have to take a breath and think of them and we feel it.
If we use a perspective of dimensions which I believe is the best interpretation of Heaven, we can use this example.
A 2-dimensional image, say a photograph of a family, has no intelligence or depth, movement or biology. But when we go up a dimension, we have the person.
That, now 3-dimensional person, can look back at the photograph and have memories, but if the other people in that family portrait could think, they'd miss the relative that had been standing next to them. They can't see that relative any longer, but they can remember him.
I hope this helps.