Saturday, February 15, 2020

Para Geek Dudes Finding Para Geek Gals

Paranormal geek dudes love their paranormal geek gals, but we geeks in general overthink the process of finding a mate or attracting one. 

So, what do para geek boys do to find para geek girls? Here's some advice from a geek gal - 

You don't find Para-Geeks in quite the same places as you do the boring dull masses. You find these smart people poking around ghost tours, watching superhero-themed movies at the theater, staying in haunted B and Bs, tucked into a chair in the para section of the bookstore, attending para, UFO and Scifi conventions, as well as touring historic sites. 

They might be involved in Cosplay and reenactments. They might be going to a Steampunk Convention, Renaissance Festival, ComicCon, planetarium, science museum, or attending haunted attractions. Check your state's calendar of events to find cool attractions they might attend, like eclipse watching, corn mazes, book and writer conferences....

You might find them at a MUFON meeting or a metaphysical store getting an aura photo. In Mesa, Arizona the Museum of Natural History has an event called Beer and Bones - tasting beers while walking among dino skeletons. Oh yes!

Geeks often need to know that they found someone of an intellectual caliber to heat their love engine. 

I highly suggest going onto Facebook and finding para groups in your area, forums that talk about ghosts in your town or Bigfoot, and joining a meetup group that is in an area of interest of yours, from history buffs to photography, hiking to gaming.

Sure, you found people who you can talk to about your interests, even feel comfortable with, but how do you keep from being relegated to the "friends-only" department? Some women categorize a man as "friend only" and that quicksand is nearly impossible to claw your way out of.

Women can be friends with a guy, but if you go too long being just friends and no mentions of sexuality, the man becomes asexual/neuter. 

Once you are asexual, you are relegated to friend only. This is necessary because women are both annoyed by men coming onto them and also need it. 

Wait, isn't that putting the foot on the gas and the brake at the same time? 

Well, if you start off the friendship hitting on her, that's too fast and she believes you only want her body. But, if you stay friends for weeks and never once mention she's pretty enough to have her pick of guys, the woman will believe that you are not sexually interested in her and thus you are neutered and become a "buddy" for life.

You can get conversations going through meetup groups, from online discussions about shared interests, from events where you mingle among others into horror movies or sci-fi stuff. 

Follow-through is critical, though. Lots of people meet up and exchange cards at events, pocket them and forget. Guys who are really interested, get on their phones and friend the women on FB.  If she accepts it, leave a message privately to tell her you enjoyed meeting her and want to talk more about the subjects you were discussing earlier. 

If you private message on FB with her, don't be too persistent. In other words, don't keep chatting with her all day and evening and the next day. A simple way to charm a gal is send her a good morning or good night message, perhaps a photo of a sunrise or a puppy sleeping, or whatever. Just make it a habit that you allow her to decide if she wants to message back or chat. It says you want to start or finish your day with her. 

Single para gals are often fairly lonely as most are rather introverted. So, having someone say good night or good morning is a fantastic ritual. 

I discovered that meeting online from a distance is almost never a good situation. At some point, someone wants to meet in person and the chemistry can be off, the overwhelming realization one of you must move, and a general lack of understanding of the home place of the other. Meeting online with someone local is a great situation to feel comfortable enough to meet in person. 

Yes, you meet amazing people over distance that you never would have met otherwise, sometimes stunning matches, but there are still a host of peripherals - their job, their home, their kids, their family, their health, their finances, their habits/addictions, mental problems, and other things that are vague in daily communications. 

If she moves to you, she will only know you and always resent giving up her life and feel vulnerable and unhappy or clingy. And if you give up everything and move to her, same issue. You start cohabitating and you have to start with career, friends, and such all over again, far from family support.  

Other options for meeting gals - 
Historical society membership and meetings, goth shops in university districts, eclectic bookstores/coffee shops (always go the same time, same day of the week so you become easy to find again), building theater sets for plays, para teams, para events, para conventions, ghost tours, burning man event, local historic landmark events, farmer's markets, and adult classes at community colleges like meditation, healing, local history. Check out indie horror movie makers and yard haunt groups.

Remember too that geek gals don't tend to go out to bars drinking and sometimes are on the computer more than out in public. That means finding them online. You might need to do a wee search such as googling "ghost blog Nevada" and find someone in your home state who is blogging about your interest. You can also find them on Facebook pages for your interest in your area like "Texas Bigfooters" or such. Join the page. Now and then, post something interesting (if you want to charm the girls, make it a funny meme) that might start a conversation or join an ongoing conversation. If you offer to admin the page, you can get a better relationship going with newcomers and members.

Sometimes, the best place to find that gal is through your favorite site. I can't tell you how many times my comments were read on a site and people followed me back to find out that I was in their area and wanted to meet and talk the subjects. How you comport yourself online is critical. One voice of reason, one interesting funny response, or curious profile pic, and you have someone receptive to conversation. 

Oh, and on the subject of profile pics, a lot of guys use a cartoon or something vague and girls are very hesitant to talk to someone who "doesn't exist." Always smile. If you don't like your teeth, smile mouth closed, but do not have a neutral or frowning face. Girls tend to like guys outdoors as they seem like they do things and are fun and interesting. And, never go shirtless in a pic. You look like a creep-o in his bathroom sending naughty pics. If you can be in-action, it makes gals real happy and you're interesting and fun to approach. That could include in costume for an event, climbing a rock face, outside a scary abandoned building, or at a tent, beach, cabin....

We women are approached a LOT online, especially on Facebook, so if you want to message a woman, do it with the right etiquette if you want to hear back. Never comment right away on our looks or photo, hair color, or breasts. Just don't mention our looks right off the bat. We women put on brakes when the man's first comment is about our appearance. We know the guy is looking to get laid and looking for what he wants to lay. So, stick with brief and not rambling to start off: 

"I read your comments on Jack's page. I wanted to tell you privately that you were spot on. You really know your stuff." 

Para geek women aren't difficult like superficial vapid women with no depth. We need our minds stimulated and our souls sang to, but we are not particularly impressed by looks or money, status or boasting. We are truly loyal and great mates and open-minded. Sometimes, our quirks are the very things that make us endearing, just as your quirks are endearing to us.

Geek girls can be shy and geek boys too, so getting us together is usually over a shared hobby or interest, so keep that in mind. 

Good luck boys finding your para-geek gal!

My para geek fiance came to be because he was a rockhound and saw my rock stack on Facebook and thought, "wow, she's cool!" 

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