As I'm working on my book The Goddess Workbook: Owning Your Space in the World, I am reminded of how far I've come in the past six years. Those who have been reading the blog have seen the evolution, but it is more than just what I am doing, it is what I am owning about myself.
2004
2016
Ways to feel more integrated with the world and with yourself -
1. Care about others. Genuinely consider their feelings and that you are all part of humanity and share the same feelings, same vulnerabilities and needs. Always keep a humility that you are no better or worse than anyone else - simply human and therefore part of the world's working parts.
2. Develop your individuality. Following loves, interests, obsessions, favorite pastimes, hobbies, studies, etc., you get not only a sense of yourself, but you also push through the natural fear of being rejected by others. When you like your own company and your own process, others are drawn to that independence and happiness.
3. Get used to your face. This sounds odd, but take as many selfies as you can stand - throw them out if you like, but begin to learn your expressions, your moods, how your face reacts to where you are in your life. I do facial diaries - a series of photos when I am in a great place, a dark place, a stressful place. I have learned to see over time that there is a resilience in that face. Even when things are looking bleak, my face does not react the way it used to (2004 photo above). You literally can see how you are handling life by how confident you become with who you are, how you are, where you are. You come to realize that you must reserve judgment on your life, as it is not over yet. You wouldn't judge your ability to be a doctor by your scores in your first anatomy and physiology class. You are in process. Watch the process, watch your resilience. Soon, you begin to see a glow about you (2016 photo above).
4. Take time for spiritual interaction with nature. It sounds all pagan, but what it really means is to get that universal perspective. You can step outside before sleep, look up at the stars and think about your day, your upcoming day, but at some point when you release all the "busy" thoughts, you begin to look at the sky as a distant dream, you ponder your life, the meaning of what you're doing, your feeling of connectedness to the entire universe. A hike, a long soak in a tub, a run, gardening are just some of the ways you can get to a spiritual place that connects you with your world and your part in it. (Remember how integrated I am in the 2016 picture above - I am embracing the wind and the setting, interacting with it, holding onto the railing, looking up into the setting sun, and the joy on my face had nothing to do with where I was in my life - I was actually under great continued stress - but I was able to let go outdoors-instant perspective).
5. Allow for playtime. It can be as simple as a romantic comedy after a hard day at work, sitting on the patio blowing bubbles and drinking iced tea, or dipping your feet into a stream. Allow yourself to dance when a song comes on, sing along in the car, or race outside to watch a sunrise or sunset. They aren't luxuries. They are natural reset buttons. When you play, you remember what you're working so hard to enjoy - life! Playfulness is not a reward, it's incentive.
Between the two photos above, 12 years went by and yet I seem younger now than I did then. I carried the weight of the world on me, took in other's opinions of me, felt trapped, hated where I was, and that I had wasted so many decades of my life not chasing my dreams but promoting someone else's dreams. I did not get any procedures, don't even use wrinkle creams - just coconut oil on my face, and my financial situation not secure like it was previously, my future unclear, my present is day to day, and my weight - the same!
So, what happened?
I followed the five basic tenants above. When opportunities came my way, I took them to see what I was capable of, I tried things I never imagined, kept pushing a bit further and a bit further to see what I was willing to try, do, experience and hopefully master, somewhat at least.
1. Care about others. Genuinely consider their feelings and that you are all part of humanity and share the same feelings, same vulnerabilities and needs. Always keep a humility that you are no better or worse than anyone else - simply human and therefore part of the world's working parts.
2. Develop your individuality. Following loves, interests, obsessions, favorite pastimes, hobbies, studies, etc., you get not only a sense of yourself, but you also push through the natural fear of being rejected by others. When you like your own company and your own process, others are drawn to that independence and happiness.
3. Get used to your face. This sounds odd, but take as many selfies as you can stand - throw them out if you like, but begin to learn your expressions, your moods, how your face reacts to where you are in your life. I do facial diaries - a series of photos when I am in a great place, a dark place, a stressful place. I have learned to see over time that there is a resilience in that face. Even when things are looking bleak, my face does not react the way it used to (2004 photo above). You literally can see how you are handling life by how confident you become with who you are, how you are, where you are. You come to realize that you must reserve judgment on your life, as it is not over yet. You wouldn't judge your ability to be a doctor by your scores in your first anatomy and physiology class. You are in process. Watch the process, watch your resilience. Soon, you begin to see a glow about you (2016 photo above).
4. Take time for spiritual interaction with nature. It sounds all pagan, but what it really means is to get that universal perspective. You can step outside before sleep, look up at the stars and think about your day, your upcoming day, but at some point when you release all the "busy" thoughts, you begin to look at the sky as a distant dream, you ponder your life, the meaning of what you're doing, your feeling of connectedness to the entire universe. A hike, a long soak in a tub, a run, gardening are just some of the ways you can get to a spiritual place that connects you with your world and your part in it. (Remember how integrated I am in the 2016 picture above - I am embracing the wind and the setting, interacting with it, holding onto the railing, looking up into the setting sun, and the joy on my face had nothing to do with where I was in my life - I was actually under great continued stress - but I was able to let go outdoors-instant perspective).
5. Allow for playtime. It can be as simple as a romantic comedy after a hard day at work, sitting on the patio blowing bubbles and drinking iced tea, or dipping your feet into a stream. Allow yourself to dance when a song comes on, sing along in the car, or race outside to watch a sunrise or sunset. They aren't luxuries. They are natural reset buttons. When you play, you remember what you're working so hard to enjoy - life! Playfulness is not a reward, it's incentive.
Between the two photos above, 12 years went by and yet I seem younger now than I did then. I carried the weight of the world on me, took in other's opinions of me, felt trapped, hated where I was, and that I had wasted so many decades of my life not chasing my dreams but promoting someone else's dreams. I did not get any procedures, don't even use wrinkle creams - just coconut oil on my face, and my financial situation not secure like it was previously, my future unclear, my present is day to day, and my weight - the same!
So, what happened?
I followed the five basic tenants above. When opportunities came my way, I took them to see what I was capable of, I tried things I never imagined, kept pushing a bit further and a bit further to see what I was willing to try, do, experience and hopefully master, somewhat at least.
Don't you think that this could apply to men as well?
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