Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Real Life Zombie Attacks

(surveillance shot)

Real life is freakier than anything we can dream up.

Case in point?

This Miami Story:

"Miami police shot and killed a man on the MacArthur Causeway Saturday afternoon, and police sources told CBS4 they had no choice: the naked man they shot was trying to chew the face off another naked man, and refused to obey police orders to stop his grisly meal. ...Officers found one man gnawing on the face of another, in what one police source called the most gruesome thing he’d ever seen."

At that point, the police officers shot the zombie once, but he continued feeding on the other man's face. They were forced to shoot him again, which mercifully killed him. Then they sought to aid the victim whose face was already mostly eaten off.

"With the attacker dead, lying nude on the pavement, officers and paramedics were able to get to his victim and rush him to Jackson Memorial Hospital. Police sources say the man had virtually no face and was unrecognizable. Once the bizarre confrontation came to an end, police were left with the task of figuring out what had happened..."

In Hackensack, NJ, a man stabbed himself repeatedly in front of officers and then proceeded to throw his intestines at them.

Pepper spray didn't work.

They called in the SWAT team to help subdue him and get him to the hospital. 

A telephone salesman collapsed and died during a bizarre sex game after taking Bath Salts drugs - which has just been banned in Britain.  Paul Iles, 31, was experimenting with 'legal highs' during sex games where he wore a gas mask and wellington boots when he died. More here. 

There have been an increasing number of insane behaviors by people using synthetic marijuana, often called "spice."

Want to know how dangerous it is? Besides heart attacks, arrhythmias and panic attacks, folks on this drug have -

Eaten a dog alive
Threatened people
Eaten people
Bit people
Gone naked in public
Ate a roommate
Trying to rape a sister
and many more horrible attacks as well as a high incidence of heart attacks.

This is not how the zombie apocalypse should go down, so lay off it people. Get high on life or running 8 miles. Put the sellers of synthetic marijuana out of business for good.

On that happy note, I hope y'all have a pleasant day and be aware that at any time the person next to you can turn and start feasting on your face.

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