Sunday, December 22, 2013

Dale the Doll: Christmas Time, Yada, Yada, Yada

So, it's that time of the year again. I'm coming down off my happy Halloween high only to find the world is getting goofy with lights, decorating, gifts, singing crappy music you wouldn't ever listen to the rest of the year, rushing around shopping, cooking fudges, baking cookies, and generally being a pain in the rear with the cheeriness of it all.

I probably should say "Merry Christmas," but I'm a doll. I don't celebrate those holidays you humans do. My human managed to get ornaments that represent everything in her life, except for a ventriloquist doll ornament. I guess she's still miffed about some of the Halloween antics.

I know you readers are probably busy stuffing your faces with all those good smelling treats and taking naps like us dolls do. Any of you still out there in Cyberland, have a good one for me. The only thing that drives me mad about being a doll is smelling food and not eating it. If I'm real good, The Human might just give me a candy cane in my mouth like last year. I think she did that to shut me up, so perhaps I better start chattering a lot....

You might, however, like this video. It's the one joke that I know about Christmas and I used it on the human one time when I was trying to make her sleep deprived. I thought she might be more fun as a zombie.

One of the good things about the season is some of the creepy ass characters in Christmas shows. It's almost as delightfully deprived as Halloween. Look at some of these freaks -

I would never tell the Human this, but the tree is very pretty when it's lit up and now that she is no longer working at her miserable job and is happy, she hangs out on the sofa where I am more and runs movies and TV that I like to watch. She doesn't glance over at me or talk to me, but at least it's like we're sharing the Christmas movies and she smiles a lot. She's not bad when she smiles. But, don't ever tell her I said that.

Halloween might be my thing, but I understand humans have a need to be near family and share things in the cold month of December, and so I do wish all you big sentimental babies, a Merry Season.

Dale the Doll