Monday, April 9, 2012

Sex and the Single Ghost Hunter: Warning Signs

I was in a marriage for a VERY long time and I never had to think too much about my protection from those who are stalker-ish, obsessive, psychotic, angry, manipulative or even extortionists. So, being on my own has been an interesting education in a few things.

Women must always remember that men approach them for many reasons and if you look at this list, there is a 1 in 7 chance that a relationship/marriage is the reason.

1. He wants to f$#@ you.
2. He is lonely and just wants company, friendship.
3. He wants a relationship, to fall in love, possible marriage.
4. He shares an interest with you/something in common and wants to enjoy that with you.
5. You might help his career/goals/finances in some way.
6. He has a past issue with a woman and hopes to reenact the scenario with a similar facsimile and win out this time.
7. He's looking for a vulnerable victim who can be intimidated and controlled.

The key to understanding what a man might be like with you is to see how he is with his family/loved ones and how he is with issues with poor service or even other drivers on the roadway. If he becomes a ranting, vengeful person about being what he sees as "wronged," then you know how he will also treat you when he feels he is wronged. Does he flirt with wait staff, ignore them as if they are invisible, snipe at them, or is he appropriately polite?

Women talk about red flags and they are there and you have to stop and ask yourself why you are ignoring these signs. What is the greater thing you want from this relationship that you're willing to ignore those gut instincts? If it's just because you don't want to be alone, turn and face the crowd--there are dozens of men there who would want to be with you. Walk away. No, run.

Other ways to protect:
*Save all correspondence.
*Any money exchanges must be documented-do not give cash.
*Find the other women he has been involved with and get their stories. There is power in numbers and patterns that can show possibly legal avenues you can take.
*Do a background check, especially if he makes extraordinary claims about his life.
*Don't be afraid to tell others about your situation and also give them access to any records that might prove something should anything untoward occur to you.
*Don't be afraid to report fraud, even if you do so anonymously. 
*If he doesn't correspond on weekends--he's married.
*If he says his marriage is unhappy, don't take the bait. If you're that special, you're worth waiting through a divorce for and if you aren't that special, you're worth f'ing on the side.

Be appropriately cautious, sisters.


  1. I think the "Men Want to F*^k you" option should be on there more than once. lol.

  2. Oh hell, yes! I should have added "women don't take it as a huge compliment that he wants to f- you. He's been known to look at every woman as a potential f'."

  3. I didn't realize that we are so easy to figure out.

  4. Been the second husband of my (only) wife I must of past her tests then. 20 years ago. (I Hope)

  5. Glad you caught things when you did Sis! Would hate to hafta whoop up on someone!


  6. Especially when their names begin with a "J"!

  7. You forgot being fed. I look at women as potential suppliers of sweets and ice-cream.