Friday, March 16, 2012

Sex and the Single Ghost Hunter: Good Men Are Easy To Find

Good men are easy to find: Good available men are hard to find. 

Married men who would love to have me as a girlfriend or a long-distance online wife.
Men who live in other states and have no intention of coming to my state.
Men who are caretaking elderly parents.
Men who refuse to fall in love again.
Men who have work, activities and child-rearing duties and no free time.

It's quite anguishing to meet a man who are absolutely everything I could want, only to discover he is married and would like me to be a side dish.

It's heartbreaking and humiliating to fall in love with a man who is not in love with me. 

It's tragic to have a man fall in love with me whom I do not share the feelings, even though he is a perfectly wonderful man. 

There are a lot of broken men out there, who have had tragic pasts, lots of drama, several stabs at being in love and being crushed. I have yet to be in love and be loved back. I would likely be a man's fourth, fifth, eighth love. It's daunting to come after such heartbreak. Some people truly believe love is a commodity. You give love, someone takes love, and crushes it. Love is gone.

Not for me. For me, love is wellspring. Just like a blood supply, I renew the love I have to give. No one can take away something that is continually produced. With that in mind, I continue on my trek to find a man who is both good and available.


  1. ;)

    He's out there.
    Waiting for you just like you are waiting for him.

    I love your opinions on this.
    Your strength is inspiring.

    <3 you

  2. cant say I blame these guys for falling for ya. lol.

  3. It's good that your attitude is open enough to accept previously married guys as a viable option. Obviously, as a previously-married person yourself, you understand that it doesn't mean the person is 'damaged goods' or all used-up by any means. Never too late to love, as they say.

  4. i know i am a couple of these... do know, you are right.

  5. Sharon … I, too, have found the most inappropriate, for me, contacts online. That was when I was looking, some years back. Online is not where you're going to find the man you deserve. I feel somewhat sad, but I'm ever hopeful for you. Say, have you ever considered leaving AZ? It's alleged to be the most stiflingly conservative state in the country. I gno that there's someone out there just for you, Sharon, what with all your beauty, intelligence, vivaciousness, and psychic gifts the main draw. May you find him & he you.

  6. Do married men seriously expect to have a relationship with you? I thought that only happened in the movies.

    1. Every single day and very seriously, they mean it. Kind of disillusioning about men who are married. Wives are pretty clueless or not wanting to see it. They have lots of excuses for seeking a "girlfriend" including wanting a divorce, growing apart and the #1 - no sex.

    2. That's horrible. It's obviously a terrible thing to do to their wives, but also must be incredibly insulting and demeaning to you.

      In the end, they are just cowards.

    3. Well, admittedly, if I were to take up with one of them offering, I would always know that they cheated on their wife. Some women like to think that "oh no, he only cheated because I'm the exception and he adores me and we really should have been together and are better than he and his wife together," but the truth is, you can insert any woman into that scenario. Single women--it's not you that drove him to cheat, he would cheat with anyone, so don't take it as a compliment, take it as the insult that it is. If he were that crazy about you, he wouldn't break his marriage vows to be with you and hurt his wife and in truth show you how he would treat a future wife.

  7. Very good post. All true, all true, sigh.

  8. I feel your pain. I myself have been trying to find a girl worth pursuing in the toxic nightmare that is High School. Since that hasn't really worked, I've decided to play to my strengths and stage a kidnapping at the nearest Opera House. Good News: I've already the black cape, wide brimmed hat, and white mask. Bad News: the nearest Opera House is in Pittsburgh, has no underground caves, and is crawling with security.

    Ah, Reality, thou art a heartless bitch.

    1. You know, HN, it is a crazy ride, but that makes the one you find all that more precious because of her rarity. I like to think of as this, who wants to walk upon an earth scattered with diamonds and look for something priceless?