Monday, March 5, 2012

Sex and the Single Ghost Hunter: Female Sexual Secrets

Men are most often baffled about how to make a woman happy. I will give you a hint:  
A woman's nagging is commensurate with how much you do not participant in the relationship.

So, what is the mystery to making a woman's toes curl? How do you know if a woman is faking an orgasm? What would make you the best lover a woman ever had?

Too many questions! Too many answers!

Let's get to some basics. A man sees a picture of a near-naked woman in Victoria's Secret catalog and is aroused. A woman, however, is not visually-oriented. If we were to read an erotic romance novel, we would be aroused--our minds have created a whole scenario with all the senses and it's in our head.

Men need to see.
Women need to envision.

The key to a woman's arousal is all from the neck up.

I just gave away our secret! It's not just teasing flirting and giving us imagery by mentioning how you like the soft spot at the back of her knees and then let her sit on that comment all day until the evening when she is worked up, it's also about literally making love from the neck up. Women cannot get enough of neck nibbling, ear nibbling, hands in our hair, touching our faces, tugging at our lip with your lips, kissing of all kinds, whispering in the ear. We are absolutely completely and totally consumed by neck up making out, so much so that it creates heat and moisture below immediately.

We do not, however, react well to--

Poking at our private parts as if you are searching for coins in the sofa. Always be too light, too teasing so a woman asks for more. Overstimulation just makes us numb. We have tons of very sensitive nerves there and whisper-light stroking makes us tremble.

Big wet sloppy kisses. If your woman wipes her mouth after your kisses, that's a sign.

Women do talk in detail about their lover's prowess and even his construction, so if you meet her friends and they have trouble maintaining eye contact, that is the biggest compliment. Had she said you were a dud, they would think of you as completely harmless, but if they know you're awesome, they will be embarrassed to look at you and giggle easy when talking. 

The best lover I ever had? He wasn't actually a lover. He was someone I made out with without removing our clothing. Yes, it left a bigger impression on me, especially because it left me wanting to know what it's like to have him. I was left with my thoughts and images and memories that were torturing me and making him seem probably a thousand times better than he might have actually been.

That may sound incredibly cruel torture, but consider this - if you get a woman receptive and ready right away, you do the deed and it's over, she will always consider you to be a very mediocre or even lame partner. Why? Because you were what women call bread-and-butter, in and out, only about your own needs, wham-bam. She will look back at you and think, "been there, done that."(yawn)

If a woman has time for her mind to become obsessed by the teasing and the wanting, no matter how you are in bed when you finally come together--you were the best lover ever because you let her work her thoughts up and her fantasies before you took what you needed.

Our lovemaking incentive stems from the imagery which is why you may think candles and music are romantic drivel, but women find atmosphere to be a way to transport us to being another woman in another time with a romantic hero and not a housewife on a posturepedic bed with the kids in the next room.

Do not overlook atmosphere when it comes to female arousal!

So far as that sometimes elusive female climax and whether she is faking it, I won't give away a woman's secrets, but a man should learn a bit about anatomy before he takes the lab science for sex. This is the best explanation online I've seen for answering these questions for men.

There are a few things at work: A woman wants to know you are wanting to be with her. Stop during the lovemaking and study her face and when she asks what is up, tell her that you love the expressions she makes when she is being pleasured, they are so beautiful. We need to know that you are there with us and not some supermodel in your imagination. Women's natural desire is to be attractive for our man so if we know you love something about us, we are beautiful and confident.

A confident woman lets go to orgasm.

Be warned, if you do this, the woman is likely to throw back her head, close her eyes, and let go. 

Women are people pleasers and we hate to hurt someone's feelings, especially someone we are likely to sleep with again, so you may think you're a really amazingly satisfying lover when actually you're getting something like this --

There is much more to teach, but this series will be continuing indefinitely once a week, so hang on and be prepared because each week I will be inspired by a new subject in the boy/girl realm.


  1. She speaks the trush, men! I once gave a girl an orgasm without touching more than her neck. It was all mind games, turning her on through the day. Then I nuzzled her neck as I told her what I was planning to do, and she erupted.

    Women have so many erogenous zones, it's insane.

    1. Yes, it's like men have had a fully equipped playground, but kept a tarp over many of the toys. Women are not a one-trick pony, that's for sure.

    2. Exactly! Sometimes it's fun to play on the swings all day long, but there are SO many other things to play with!

      The slide, for example, appreciates some attention now and then. As do the monkey bars...

    3. I liked anything I can climb, the taller, the better :-)

  2. Holy cow.

    This article made ME blush, and that's not an easy task!!!!

    1. Aw, baby sis, consider it a guy talk from your big sis.

  3. Thanks for writing this out. Now I know that my love-life was a lot more successful than I thought it was. I guess you could call it puppy love.

  4. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and the way to a woman's heart is through her mind.

    Says a lot about the differences in the sexes, doesn't it? :)

    1. Definitely, one is more motivated from the waist down and the other more motivated from the waist up. Together, I guess we make a whole. So when someone says you are someone's better half--they truly mean it.

  5. This "above-the-neck" issue explains why vampires are associated with sexuality and why women love steamy vampire novels..

  6. Anyone who actually listens to their spouse / partner / woman knows this. But you are so right, the key is communication and the ability to remember women are mental, er, I mean, that women are more emotional beings as opposed to the physical beings that are men. Now excuse me while I roll over and fall asleep.

    1. So true, MM. If a man rolls over and sleeps, he misses the best part because women are just warmed up. We usually feel like going and cleaning the kitchen and running a mile. We've only just begun.