Yikes!
I recently put myself on several singles sites to see what is out there. Two of the sites are for geeks. I realized that on mass dating sites, I was getting the attention of all men instead of the particular ones I want. Even though I clearly in my profile said - no religion - I got steadfast Baptists and Catholics checking me out. I got conservatives and men who could not spell even basic words.
I will report how this experiment progresses. I fear for men in their mom's paneled basement and those who like to dress like Harry Potter or do LARP'ing, but I also know that since intelligence is high on my male priorities, I had to get past general population and narrow the field a bit.
What is Autumnforest looking for? Someone who is intelligent, asks questions about the universe, seeks knowledge and adventure, can laugh-especially at himself, is quirky with lots of interesting interests or focuses, likes to read, is affectionate and demonstrative, and hopefully taller than 5'8". Other than that, much is negotiable.
I am learning a lot from dating services:
Men who just say "hi" in a message will not get my response. I am not a dog. You cannot just randomly whistle and hope someone replies.
Men with a lengthy pre-written message that they use on everyone will not get my response.
Men who tell me off the bat they think I'm gorgeous and they love red hair will not get my response. They are basically saying "I want to f' the gal in the picture, but I did not read her bio."
Men with vague profiles are not to be pursued. They don't have to be particularly witty, but saying they love life and laughing, enjoy adventures and hope to find a mate, tells me they have no hobbies, no interests, no life, no quirks.
Men who specify they want a woman who is athletic are really saying "I don't want a fat chick." Men who ask if your picture is recent are terrified you are showing a pic of you when you were in your 20s and you are probably an old moose by now. Men think they are being tricky about how they narrow the field of women, but we know what they are getting at. One man even asked me to pose with a bottle upside down. I asked why and he said, "because I know you won't have a picture of you like that and I'll know that you just took it and your picture is recent."
Men can really give themselves away. When I put on my profile that I just wanted to correspond right now and not meet yet and wanted an affectionate man, he said "how the fuck am I supposed to show you I'm affectionate in an email?" I told him, "you just did."
For those of my LGBT friends, there is a site to find your special geek.
It is an awkward dance at best, but I will keep you updated in my Sex and the Single Geek search.
It is an awkward dance at best, but I will keep you updated in my Sex and the Single Geek search.