You Might Be a Bigfoot Hunter If...

(This is just a little fun, taking after Jeff Foxworthy's redneck routine)

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
Your wife's fragrance purchases are from the department store and yours are from "Ape Pheromone Labs, Ltd."

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
Your car's roadside emergency kit contains a map of the state park, a 10-pound bag of plaster of paris, and nightvision goggles.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
Cryptomundo is your only news outlet.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
Your iPod music collection was complete when you found a Torrent of the Samurai call.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
You buy a perfectly good ax and then remove the hatchet to turn it into a wood knocker.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
You invite your friends over to watch home movies and you begin it with the Patterson-Gimlin footage of "Patty."

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
You attend football games so you have a legitimate reason to practice Bigfoot calls.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
Dr. Melba Ketchum is the only female you've actually been excited to hear speak.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
The only thing you keep in your DVR is every episode of "Finding Bigfoot" season 1 and all the Jack Links commercials.

and...

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
You have absolutely no trouble delineating a mid-tarsal break in a Bigfoot casting, but still have no clue where the G-spot is on your female.


(**Do not miss tomorrow--2 posts showing how to get an entire custom gift for a man or woman for $30 and under including the "wrap" and quizzes to match the right item to your woman or man**)