Dale the Doll: What Has Barbie Got That I Don't?


I thought I'd just throw this out there for the readers to decide. Now, I know that I bitch and moan about The Human taking me on her ghost hunting trips and dragging me around to spooky places and using me as ghost bait, or as she likes to call a "target object," but I was rather offended this last weekend.

The Human went with her hoity toity team, POE, to some haunted locations. Admittedly, the last time I stayed at that haunted B&B, a little girl spoke to The Human and I during the night and I was not at all comfortable with that. I'm used to voices being thrown, but this wasn't thrown from a human!

Still, The Human decided this time to take a Barbie doll. A Barbie doll! I know what she was thinking, that a Barbie doll might appeal to the little girl who spoke the last time we were there. It seemed like there was room enough for me in the bag.

The team members are apparently quite reliable and she didn't feel the need to bring a protector. That 6'3" team member probably dogged her all night, keeping her safe. Not that I care what happens to The Human, mind you, but if she becomes injured it would inconvenience me. I like the abandoned dolls she's collected over the years at abandoned sites and we're a family now. Should someone come in and take apart her estate, it would be off to the antique shop again for me.

It's not like I care if she's happy or scared, getting into trouble or not. She doesn't know how many times I talked to the spirits in the room to leave her alone. She's not aware of what a protective I have been. In fact, come to think of it, she wouldn't be much of an investigator without my skills to keep her out of her usual antics and side paths that lead to danger.

Well, this guard doll is quite done with his job. Apparently, a cheaply foreign-made Barbie doll can do the job. I'm not hurt. I'm not displaced. I'm quite content. In fact, next time, she can take the Ken doll, so there!

Comments

  1. It's OK Dale. Barbie's only perpetrate the male fantasy stereotypes of women, damaging the self esteem of girls everywhere. You, on the other hand, stand up and speak your... Actually, you speak other people's minds. You're kind of useless. I mean, why can't people just speak for themselves? You're like the "People Person" in Office Space. Maybe you should just end it all.

    On second thought, never mind. We all love you Dale.

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  2. Dale, Dale, Dale - you know there's no replacing you. Don't fret over that bimbo - she's all plastic. But you're the REAL deal.

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  3. Dale , what does Barbie got that you don't ?
    SHE'S GOT TITS YOU TALKING LOG !

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  4. Well, I certainly expected the men to be of no help in this matter. Mr. Leo, I do get your reference. I liked Office Space because it showed how useless and redundant human beings are. "I'm a people person." I loved that guy! I could definitely relate to him. Someone had to be the go-between for engineer and client. Right now, I feel more like the dude with the stapler in the basement....

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  5. Perhaps this particular hunt called for a doll with hair that isn't painted on? Or maybe one that has a large selection of tiny shoes?

    Chin up, old fellow.

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  6. Sorry dale, barbies got lady parts and you... well you dont... but hey we all still love ya! lol.

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  7. and SEVERAL prime pieces of real estate...convertable....RV..... and a never ending wardrobe that includes spike heels!!

    course I could have just ended with "titties"

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  8. Relax, Dale... at lesat you went...

    I would have left you and your splinters at home... :oD

    ~shoes~

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  9. Grrr.... 'least'... not 'lesat'...

    ~shoes~

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  10. Dale baby, Barbie was a much better trigger object. At least she doesn't drink our champagne and run a muck at the nearest cemetery.

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  11. Hello Mr. Creepy McCreeperson. I know you see this as a slap in the face, but turn the other cheek hon, Barbie can't walk straight because the human keeps her feet turned backwards! LOL

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