Sunday, June 26, 2011

We've Got Dry Beaver and We've Got Wet Beaver

I'm talking about the State of Arizona, for crying out loud, people, get your mind out of the gutter!

(Wet Beaver Creek, AZ. And, no, it's not just for the estrogenized youngsters.)

(Dry Beaver Creek, AZ; a sign that always makes people wince, both male and female. And, no, it's not just for the postmenopausal.)

The Wet Beaver creek has bass and catfish and water. Now, you can imagine what the Dry Beaver Creek offers: Sand, sand, and more sand with occasional seasonal rain filling it up.

I get the distinct feeling that when settlers stopped in Arizona, tired of the wagon train experience and thinking things might get worse if they kept going west, they just plopped down in this barren land and decided to poke fun at their new territory. I know I do all the time. It helps one survive the heat, sunshine, dry climate and inhospitable cacti. Well, they started naming things just about the weirdest shit you can imagine. I picture it like this; they leaned back against a wagon wheel, drank a bottle of rotgut and then started kicking out names and painting some signs. Here's just a few town names in AZ:

Why, Arizona
Nothing, Arizona
Ajo (Tohono Odam for "Onion"), Arizona
Hell Hole, Arizona
Hell Holes, Arizona
Canyon Diablo, Arizona
Santa Claus, Arizona
Christmas, Arizona
Bumble Bee, Arizona
Tombstone, Arizona
Show Low, Arizona
Two Guns, Arizona
Arsenic Tubs, Arizona
Total Wreck, Arizona

I want to name a town in Arizona "Hills Have Eyes" and I'd place it in the hills just outside of Fountain Hills as one is traveling towards Payson and the hills are just tons of big boulders and there's nothing but turkey buzzards for signs of life. I guess the official mayor should be, well, "Pluto?"


  1. See? I love AZ town names. Idaho's towns seem to all have 'falls' in the title. And not a lot of falls, either...

  2. I love Arizona...

    I also love beaver...

    I want a cowboy hat made out of beaver...


  3. LII;
    I never thought about it, but, yeah, lots of falls (but are any of them getting back up again?) har har

    Yeah, doesn't every man want to wear a beaver as a hat?

  4. Listen, girl! I live in the Beaver State. Went to Oregon State where the mascot is a Beaver and live in Beaverton. I'm all about beavers. No funny business.

    Love the city names. Makes me want to hit the Oregon map for Mist, Spray, Drain, Sisters, Brothers and Dead Mountain. Then there is Halfway, which is actually nowhere.

  5. MM;
    So you're telling me that you've immersed yourself in beavers. Good boy!

  6. Damn, that is a creepy drive between Fountain Hills and Payson. I know those hills do have eyes.... muhahaha!


  7. Sis;
    I swear every time we go out and drive the AZ desert, I'm thinking about that movie and hoping the car is going to cooperate, but I really think of it in that area of the desert.

  8. My first name is Beaver.

  9. Yay for Wet Beavers! I didn't really read the rest of the article but I do invite you to come to Start, Louisiana although there is no Finish. Not just in LA. But no town named Finish at all.

    The Liquor Guy is back!!!

  10. Georgia has a Climax. Some years ago, Jay Leno featured a headline from the nearby Arab (AY-rab), GA paper, "Truck Loses Load in Climax." I still can't imagine how that got past the editor.

  11. The editor was only following the old school rules. Hey, every story needs a climax, right?