Friday, June 17, 2011

Sex and the Single Ghost Hunter: "Hunters"

This is a new series on Fridays. I have no idea where it will take me, but my friends encourage me to share my stories of being a single ghost hunter and the antics I get myself into.

I was a sassy tomboy and I find that I understand guys and the way they think. They are easy for me to make friends with because I have a quick mind and quick wit and I in no way expect them to change for me. I absolutely get where they're coming from, I understand the hunter.

What is the hunter?

It's a man's instinct to see something pretty move by and want to hunt and go in for the “kill.” I've gotten over the years plenty of married men around the country contacting me through the blog and wanting to flirt. My friends sigh and complain, “What a dick! I feel sorry for his wife,” but they're missing something in the equation and that is the man choosing a woman across country he will never meet as the means to work his skills.

A man becomes “taken” and it's like removing a cat's claws to domesticate it. The cat still stalks, pounces, rolls around with and bites at a squeaky toy as he practices his hunting instincts. They are very much a part of him. He cannot help the desire to want to see what he can acquire. Men are the same. A simple pat on the head and “your wife is lucky” and a man knows that he could have gone for the “kill.” Sometimes, a happily married man can just need some practice with his parrying before he can happily go on his way with the pride of knowing he can still enter the hunt.

We had a cat when I was growing up. His name was Pierre. Pierre was a well-fed cat, well loved, but he liked his outdoors time and we would allow it. The cat would stalk his prey, kill it and leave it on the doorstep as proof that he was still an excellent hunter. Pierre had no need for the nourishment, he simply wanted to accrue carcasses as keepsakes of his agility and patience. Later, I had a cat name Winifred. Winifred was the same, a well-fed, well-loved cat. She would go into the yard practice her bird-stalking skills, creeping, twitching her tail, advancing, retreating. As soon as she got within a foot of the tree where the bird sat, she would roll onto her back and lick her paws and begin to clean herself. Later, after lounging in the shade, she would remember the bird and look up to see if was still there. She'd stalk off and later come back to prowl another bird before getting distracted when she got close enough for the kill. Winnie could have killed the bird and she knew that. Once she got within the required one foot, the kill was just a technicality. So long as the bird continued to be free, the hunt could be reenacted another day.

This is perhaps the difference between the hunters and the killers amongst men. The hunter anticipates that today he could be a big-time killer, perhaps get an 10-point buck, but it's really just the excitement of what could be out in the woods that gives him a thrill. It's the technique and skill, alertness and arousal he must utilize that satisfies. The killer, however, will not come out of those woods until he has something to sling over the hood of his car. He is on a mission to an ends and not the means.

As a ghost hunter, I tell myself that the ultimate would be to capture a ghost, but truly the hunting of one works the skills I most admire, intelligence, adaptability, patience and anticipation. It's wondering what could be and how I would handle it that is exciting and keeps my skills engaged. Same goes in the world of hunters of any type.

Men you should also know; however, that women have an equivalent. Even married and well taken women dress up, put on makeup, fix their hair before leaving the house. They still want to know they can lure the prospective hunters. Some of them just want to know they could reel them in, others actually do reel them in. The exciting moment is wondering if you can have the man's attention and the part where you actually acquire him is the end of luring and hunting mission for both participants, which is actually a sad thing.

I'm certainly not excusing married men from flirtations, but I think I've come to understand their need for validation in the hunting arena. I also understand (from my past marriage) that women also need to be reminded that they are a pretty lure and the man is a lucky hunter to have acquired her.

Perhaps if couples enjoyed a bit more luring, stalking and killing in a playful practice session in their relationship, there would be less tom cats and female felines on the prowl practicing their skills.

(This is my favorite stand-up routine by Sam Kinison about this very subject.)

**Don't forget tonight is Lonely on a Friday Night if you want to come on and comment back and forth while watching Zak's new show.**


  1. Very good post. I have seen first hand the antics you get into and love being a part of them. Ghost hunting doesn't have to be a complete bore. The video had me in stitches.

  2. That is my favorite stand-up routine ever. Yes, antics, that's a good work for the residual I leave behind.

  3. No one can say truth in the face like you do.

  4. I'm not always popular R&S, but I sure as hell am an up-front kinda gal.

  5. I seriously miss Sam Kinison more than any other comedian (except Bob Hope and he was a legend).

  6. First of all, whatever workout routine you are doing is definitely working, and I urge you to keep it up! I have always been a very flirtatious person since I was about 12 years old, and it's to the point where I don't even think about it. But I can also say with a certain measure of pride that I've never been unfaithful in a relationship.

    One thing you didn't really touch upon though, were couples who flirt AS couples. I've been in relationships like that, and I can attest that they are a lot of fun.

    I really love how you can weave through so many subjects on this blog and put them forth so lucidly every time!