Monday, June 20, 2011

"Finding Bigfoot" Reviewed

"That's a squatch!" The new buzzword. I must take it to my ghost hunts and freak out my partners. If I say it just right, maybe follow it with a mock Bigfoot call, I might raise the dead, huh?

Last night's episode of "Finding Bigfoot" was in my favorite state in the Union--Oregon! If there is nirvana, it is Oregon! It has it has it all, it's magnificent every inch of it, the people are artists, open-minded, organic, intelligent, and real. I need to quit trying to sell the state or everyone will rush there and ruin the beautiful countryside and beaches. One creature, however, is brilliant in choosing it for his home--Bigfoot. Oh, another brilliant creature, Cliff, calls it home, as well. Hey, Cliff, shopping for a Bigfoot hunting girlfriend???

McKenzie River footage captured what might be Sasquatch on the shores of the river or perhaps a fisherman? That is what the team went to figure out. They found the environment to be suitable and even took a raft down the river to recreate the scenario. They tried to compare BoBo (their BF stand-in) with the same filming scenario. They figured the BF was probably around 6 to 6-1/2 feet tall. Matt (sigh) tweaked everything to be a Bigfoot no matter what is found. He will NEVER say something probably wasn't or accept evidence. Ranae thinks it's a person. It was fairly interesting simply by the coloration which was completely black as compared to BoBo and his tan coat, but then this team was there in a cold, wintry time of the year and the men who filmed it were there in the late spring/early summertime. Lighting could differ.

The team went out at nighttime. Cliff contemplates what sounds BF might like in primal calls. I have to smile. God, I love my dorks! Y'all know how much I have crushes on the nerds. I wonder if he makes BF sounds in the throes of passion? I think it'd actually make me curl my toes!

They went to another town to a meeting to find out what locals are saying about BF. This "Bigfoot and Beer" get together is yet another reason why I fucking love Oregon! Jeez! I really need to live there. They are my peeps. This is like a Bigfoot Anonymous meeting but with frothy cold beers and bar pub talk of encounters.

They had witnesses mark on the map where the sightings were. They narrowed down the region they needed to focus on. I appreciate that the team interviews groups, narrows down the best witness descriptions and then go to those locations. They may be overly enthusiastic about BF being everywhere, but I am so thankful for Ranae. Her instincts about witnesses and things that don't jive keeps it all down to earth. I so appreciate having her counterbalance with the team of male hormones pumped up on the hunt. Her doubts about one of the witnesses were brilliant and clear. One witness: Not credible. Now, two male fishermen who got a casted footprint were interviewed by Cliff and BoBo. They determine there were two Bigfoots involved in that account, one upriver screaming, another across the river with glowing eyes.

Now, they talk to some men who decided to use a bunny and some glowsticks to lure a Bigfoot. I love Ranae when she says she isn't sure about this story, some men with glowsticks, a live bunny in a cage and probably sitting back and having some beers. Not a good scenario. The men describe a huge hand in front of the cage, blocking it out with its size. The guys decide to try out the glowsticks and a bunny in a cage scenario. They do wood knocks and howls and look for heat signatures. They see the glowsticks under the bunny cage move. Yeah, well, the bunny is no doubt moving around in there. They get some tree knocks and decide to come back the next day.

The next day, they plan to blast some recorded BF sounds loudly up above where it will resonate below. They use electric motorcycles to approach the sound of a responding BF. BoBo and Ranae take the bikes and go out with a parabolic dish to listen for BF and hopefully sneak up on him. They appear to hear a sound "That's a Squatch!" (Hint: I would really like a t-shirt that says that if anyone is ambitious enough to make one!) The howls are pretty impressive. I got a shiver of delight. There's something so Blair Witch about them tromping around in the darkness. I'm not sure why they didn't get a sample of the supposedly fresh urine which might have had epithelial cells (skin) and DNA, but they didn't.

Y'all know I'm going to have to put in a comment of my own. I'd like to see Matt dropped from the team, he's fucking useless, but I would like to see them replace him with a professional tracker and woodsman. I think that would be an ideal scenario. Well, ideal would be that they add a brassy redhead who is a huge BF fan to the team, but alas that is not likely to happen. So, my second choice is Mr. Jeremiah Johnson type tracking professional. Hell, if he looks a little like Jeremiah too, I wouldn't complain!

I'm hooked. I love BF so much, I'll watch anyone hunt him. My favorite thing to do on a day off? Watch back-to-back BF documentaries. God, I love this critter and his home! The average person is just as uncomfortable in the woods as a haunted house, so I suspect this BF show will be picked up another season. I hope they shuffle out Matt and make Cliff the team leader, but other than that, I'm not going anywhere and you can expect a weekly review when the season is on and they really should give it more like 8-10 episodes instead of what I heard was a measly 6.

Next week's episode looks wicked awesome atop a snowy mountain. I can hardly wait! I will darken the room and get in the mood. Yeah, I know, I'm kinky!


  1. When that arm reaches out, I couldn't help but to think how slender it looked. I mean for a species meant to be "robust", I find these guys small. Of course, it could be all that hair. You ever put one of those obnoxious fluff ball lap dogs in a bath? They slim down real quick. If they came out of the water, they could seem more slender than we normally take them to be.

  2. Bigfoot sure has an epic beard! :D

  3. Like a wet dog, eh? I saw that with the limb too, but what bothered me most about that is that the boat you see in the frame is downriver from BF and BF is just now turning and leaving. I would think that boat so close to where he was supposedly squatted down at the water's edge where it's clear, would have been seen by the folks in the boat or would have seen them and hightailed it. I would have been more impressed if they did it the same time of day, same time of year in that spot. The sun's lay in the sky is very different the end of May than in the wintertime.

  4. Unfortunately, I do not have cable so have not seen the show. I have been following comments on several sites and I have to say that you have it nailed in calling for a woodsman for the research group.

    I'm not entirely convinced that we are dealing with an unknown bipedal primate but, if we are, then someone with extensive tracking experience, should be able to run down a rather large hominid tramping through the woods, elusive or not.

    BTW, get a real kick from your site and your out of the box thinking.

  5. Thanks-I handle everything from outside the box. In my case, I set the box on fire! A good tracker should always be part of a team searching for a creature that supposedly can leave prints, break sticks, knock on trees... It's certainly giving a lot of evidence of its existence which could be tracked by someone who understands animal movement (this thing has to eat what a bear does to maintain it's height and weight) such as bears.

  6. You kill me always with the humor of your reviews

  7. Thanks R&S. It's just me being me. I'm a bit of a sassy gal. I say it like I see it. Some folks appreciate that (the intelligent ones such as yourself) and others flee screaming (weaklings).

  8. Sorry, I have to disappoint you.

  9. Absolutely! If a tracker can put you on the trail of a bear, then aspersion with that experience should be able to 'hunt' Bigfoot. Jeff Meldrum has a whole room full of footprint casts; something of the size indicated by those casts will leave definitive sign in the heavily forested environment it seems to favor.

    If Bigfoot is not something 'other', then the researchers are going to need a specimen to present to the scientific establishment. I would never condone harming an animal but, if the big guy can be trailed, he can be tranqed, definitive DNA/video/photo evidence can be gathered and then he can be released.

    Or maybe, as native people seem to believe, the BF can not be tracked and should not be tracked since he is not a full time part of this

  10. I'm totally with you on that. I recently wrote a post last Monday about whether or not BF and Native Americans have an interesting symbiotic relationship in which BF knows they are not focusing their intentions on him and that the only time we run into the big guy is when we don't expect it and are not thinking about him, but the minute we go looking for him, he can't be found. I'm actually doing a post on Wednesday about Intentions and how it works.

  11. They should get Terry Grant from the show Mantracker.

    You pretty much nailed this. They need to stop acting like everything is a damn BF. Especially Moneymaker who espouses a field guide's worth of "facts" about an unknown phenomenon's behavior.

    The noises just make me laugh like a loon.

    The urine. They didn't even try? The audio they recorded? No discussion of analysis and comparison by an expert?

    Yeah, this is just a reality show about fools in the woods. I can probably dig that if they get the team correct.

  12. Pangs; I'd be willing to keep BoBo just cause he makes a swell stand-in and his voice is a dead ringer for Nick Nolte which makes me smile. Ranae is fucking brilliant. Cliff is a good balance. He seems to have some integrity and intelligence and I appreciate that. I would toss Matt, get a real tracker, serious back-country dude and make this as bad ass man-vs-nature as possible. I'd like to see an over the top season ender where they parachute them into the most remote Canadian wilderness where no man has gone and see what happens after a week. For that, I'd buy the entire series.

  13. I would love to see them go deep wild for an extended time. With a few live cams at a base site.

    Ranae is solid. Bobo is better than I thought he would be, for sure, and certainly more critical than I expected.

    Cliff clearly shows his pro-BF stance, but he has approached the evidence honestly so far, I think.

    The other guy is a menace.

  14. I think you would need more than a week for the parachute episode. What is needed for that sort of adventure is a group of people who can 'chute in and then blend into the woods like natives. If you dropped Cliff and company into the remote Canadian woods, they would do what they always do - blunder around and make noise, scaring off any wildlife within a mile. In order to be sucessful, the expedition that you propose would require a whole new skill set based on silence, stealth, tracking ability and intense understanding of the native flora and fauna. AND the team would require a month or more to get acclimated and familiar with the terrain and al the various sign in that woodland.

    Now, it just needs funding :-)


  15. Storm;
    I am in total agreement. I've waited forever for a team or individual to do this sort of thing. You need a survivalist with tracking skills and you need a lot of time. I always hoped someone would do a documentary like this, and I agree that time is the important factor. You really need to become "one" with the woods and another creature in her belly before you can cross the BF's path. Brilliant analysis, my friend.

  16. Thanks, these are thoughts that I have had for some time . . . Just needed some nonpartisan "peeps" to share them with. Thanks for providing this forum.

    I guess the other thing that we have to consider is this: what if the big guy actually is a "guardian of the forest" as some of the First Nations posit, a being that is only visiting this world from the spirit world?

    Let's suppose that our tracker is a dogged as we would like and he/she/they actually witness the being moving from one plane to the next (a Skinwalker Ranch scenario). I suspect that you would see both the skeptics and the BF as bipedal primate folks ignoring the footage as CG and going about their merry way, warring with each other.


  17. Storm;
    You're brilliant, you do realize that? You are exactly the kind of person I have this blog for. You know when you're kids and you sit around and contemplate shit like in "Stand By Me" when they wonder about superheroes. Well, I'm like that. I like to sit around and contemplate these mysteries and find new angles, snipe attacks. I just wrote a post recently about Bigfoot and Native Americans and psychic pathways. It's on the righthand side under my archives. You might want to check it out. I'm writing a post that expands on the concept that us contemplating BF makes him sensitive to knowing we're seeking him. Expect the post to be up on Thursday.