Saturday, June 11, 2011

Dale the Doll: What the Human Doesn't Know Won't Hurt Her, Right?

I complain about the Human taking me on ghost hunting trips, but honestly I don't know what the hell she'd do without me.

She took me on my first hunt in a cemetery and left me atop a grave as "bait." What she didn't see was that behind her as she shined a flashlight on me, two soldiers walked past her and then turned and stared at her! They paced back and to either side of her. She complained of chills and then, thankfully, had the instincts to pick me up and get the hell out of there.

Another time, she took me with a car full of giggling women. We stayed in an old schoolhouse where during the night a little girl spoke to me. She spoke to me! It woke the Human up too. She tried to comfort the girl and went back to sleep, but I wasn't freaking going to sleep!

Once, she took me to a hunt in B&B in Prescott and left me in front of the closet door that tended to open on its own. I was a freaking indicator for if the door opened. Yes, this is what the Human uses me for.

There must be some doll abuse laws on the records. Hell, in Arizona you can't drive a pickup truck with a dog in the back, so they must have some rules about what you can and cannot do with ventriloquist dolls.

Well, she left for supper with Ms Julie and even though they both commented on the look of fear on my face, they closed the door and I was alone with the spirit cat. I hate ghosts, but I really fucking hate spirit cats!

So, the humans decided to go to the BirdCage. Oh, for crying out loud! What the Human didn't realize when she decided to sauce it up as the newest prostitute in the crib, was that there was one bad hombre following her around all evening, circling her protectively, keeping her segregated from the others. I think the Human realized it, but she didn't let it stop her from calling out that she was giving it away for free (rolling my doll's eyes at this point). A couple of times, he reached out to touch her and she complained of goosebumps.

I thought it over and decided not to tell the Human about her unseen companions. If she thought I could see what she couldn't see, she'd drag me on every damned hunt and I really don't need to see that shit! Still, if she doesn't take me, who is going to protect her from herself?

You can see the battle here. I might have to man up and offer to go on the damned hunts with her. How humiliating!


  1. Dale we have many more ghost hunts to take you on. You have to admit, you are great bait for the ghost. I asked one to knock you over at the Birdcage, but they wouldn't. I guess they didn't want to mess with you.... ha ha!

  2. Ms. Julie; It is, as always, good to hear from you. You keep my Human out of trouble when she goes through life willy nilly. You have a smart head on your shoulders. I'm surprised you encourage her to do these things! All I ask is that you discourage her from going to any doll museums that are haunted. I do not fear human ghosts, but doll ghosts are another matter all together!