Zak Screams. Zak Preens. Zak Writes???


Zak eats (at least, that's almost all he ever tweets about).
Zak works out (Duh).
Zak uses way too fucking much hair gel (He has a beautiful hairdo...for a lesbian).

Hey, guess what? Zak wrote a book. It's coming out soon.

I guess at this point, I should design a drinking game for the reading of the book. Let's take a drink for every time he takes credit for things and says "me," and "I." Okay, I don't want y'all dying of liquor poisoning. Let's just do a drink for every time he tells you with absolute certainly he's dealt with demons, possession and tormenters who touched his person.

Not planning to give him any cash for it. Toilet paper comes cheaper. At least he's expanding the empire away from pimping out horrible graphic tees and giving supposedly haunted places lots of street cred so they can charge hunters to go there. Here's the book description:

It's easy to say ghosts exist or don't exist. Anyone can do that. Trying to figure out the why or what is a different story. Paranormal investigator Zak Bagans, host of the popular Travel Channel series Ghost Adventures, pulls from his years of experience with paranormal activities and unexplained phenomena to provide an evenhanded look at a divisive subject. In Dark World , regardless of whether you believe in the afterlife or not, Zak does his best to find and share answers to the phenomena that people encounter. He wants you to experience a haunting through his eyes: to feel what it's like to be scared, freaked out, pushed, cold, sluggish, whispered-at and touched by an ethereal being or attacked by a demonic spirit. But beyond simply experiencing these events, Zak is looking for the reasons behind them, searching for answers to the unanswered questions. Addressing all the major issues and theories of the field in an impartial way, Dark World is a must read for paranormal enthusiasts, those who don't believe and anyone who's ever wondered about things that go bump in the night.

Zak, baby, as "The Soup" would say--do not get cancelled! We need you! Travel Channel--give this guy endless seasons.I'm so digging this wild ride that is Zak! The only thing that could possible be better is if Travel Channel decided on a special, sending Zak and Charlie Sheen to taunt those pesky trolls in Finland!

(My brilliant son made this video below--bless his heart)