Friday, March 4, 2011

Back By Popular Demand: My Mother's Douche Bag


Yeah, this post is sounding kinda creepy, huh? Not really. It’s about weird things we use for ghost hunting tools. Even creepier? Keep reading...

When I was a kid we would open the family bathroom medicine cabinet and there it was…unavoidably out of place amongst the bottles of mercurochrome and salves. Mom’s 1950s era douche bag, propped up, flopping a bit like a calf’s bladder, drew attention. I remember as a kid pondering it. The images in my mind were intriguing. Was it used for unplugging the sink? Perhaps to clean out ear wax? No one spoke of it. We pretended it…wasn’t there.

One time as a little kid who inhabited the tiny end bedroom, the truly disturbing room with the ice cold closet year-round and something that sounded like it was breathing raspy within, I decided it was time to do something about this ghost. I pondered what to do for someone who was having trouble breathing. I understood how they felt, nearly everyone around me smoked.

Then, one brilliant day while in the bathroom reaching for the St. Joseph’s aspirin, I saw it. I picked it up this time and examined the line and the bag. It reminded me of those Ambu masks on TV medical shows that helped aid breathing.

So, I brought it with me to my room and left it in the closet for the night just to see if the poor ghost might be able to resuscitate his poor breathing. I forgot the douche bag was in there. I never used the closet because it was cold and felt so nasty. I kept my clothing sprawled on the radiator.

But, I was in the bathroom one day and realized the douche bag wasn’t there. Oops!

I put it back in the medicine cabinet and lived with the rattling breather in the closet for another year until I could switch bedrooms.

Since that time, I have incorporated some strange items into ghost hunting, using a belly dancing scarf and windchimes as early warning devices to make noise. I’ve used a tap light for communication and powder for signs of a presence.

You know my last few ghost hunts were not too productive. Perhaps we need to pull out the old school tools. Can't you just see J&G holding up a Summer's Eve container and doing a little commercial and then proceeding to set it down on a chair and carry on a conversation with it like a KII meter... Hell, ratings may go up!

DON'T FORGET--TONIGHT IS LONELY ON A FRIDAY NIGHT... Join us here and chat back and forth. People come and go and I tell them bye when they leave, but all evening, I'm here, seeing the messages that someone commented, so just jump on and say "hi" and I will respond, even if no one has spoken for a while. My Friday nights are about Ghost Adventures reruns, working on my next book and thankfully finding people to chat with amongst my smart and funny readers.

8 comments:

  1. You could use a tennis shirt - any douche-ghost would be unable to resist the urge to turn up the collar.

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  2. Sucio;
    Well, I'll just have to consider putting that in my bag of tricks on a ghost hunt. It might keep the douche bag from making rattling sounds inside.

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  3. Okay, when I say that post I had to stop...was that what I thought it was? Yes, and there was one around my house when I was a kid (and smokers too) - just brought back all kinds of memories.

    As for ghost hunting device....I guess you never know until you try. I have learned that life lesson over and over. :)

    Have a great time tonight.

    Cheers!

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  4. Perhaps the ghosts needed to have that freshness feeling... I will be joining you but watching "Who Do You Think You Are" (Lionel Richie) as well as "Beast Hunter".

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  5. Sis;
    I ordered season 1 and 2 of UFO Hunters and I think it arrived today, so I will likely run that tonight. I did love that show and the characters and the way they went about it were winning. I don't understand how that and Monsterquest tanked. What is up with History Channel??? They seriously need to give me a show. I'll fill in the gaps.

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  6. I don't understand either. I was a fan of monsterquest too. I never missed any of the BF episodes.

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  7. Thanks for showing a picture of a douche bag, I always thought they were out of production, since the only time anyone ever mentioned douche bag was as a derogatory term of endearment. But I guess it's not the type of thing many women would be bringing up in conversation anyway.

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  8. It's all plastic and disposable nowadays. I guess that keeps them out of eyesight.

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