My Face and a Blogging Love Story

Here's a blogging love story in time for Valentine's.

In my marriage, my ex told me he was no longer attracted to me, that I had "let myself go." My ego had been beaten down for the past 12 or so years by his inconsideration and his cruel words. I hid my face from the blog and didn't want anyone to see me. I felt completely repugnant that someone who is supposed to love me for life thought I was inconsequential and beyond redemption in the looks department and that negated the thousand other reasons I was awesome and lovable. I had stood in the past before clients looking at my naked body and critiquing it to decide if they would hire me for a modeling job and judges in pageants who looked at me like a piece of fine horse flesh, but I had never had someone I was intimate with lash me with his words and looks of disgust, lip curling in contempt. So, I remained hidden away.

One day, a blogger whom I admired coaxed me to let him see my face. I braved the risk of ridicule and went and took a picture and sent it to him. I wished I could take it back the minute I hit "send," but now it was out there and I would probably never hear from him again. I know enough about men to know that a woman's worth still comes down to her appearance. I am not so naive as to believe men are not visual creatures. So, I waited. I paced. I felt sick to my stomach.

Then, he replied that I was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Why was I hiding my face? I couldn't explain that my husband had so distorted my worth by his nagging and nitpicking that I was not seeing myself accurately. I felt vulnerable and exposed.

Then, he sent me back this profile picture that I use. I'm sure you've all wondered if I'm like the picture at all. I can say that he did a great job of just enhancing and cartooning the look of me, but kept my essence. He saw my beauty. He could not stop reassuring me that I was beautiful and that my husband was an ass.

And so, I came out of my anonymous hiding in the blog world and exposed myself a bit more and a bit more at a time. I gained confidence because a man whose opinion meant something to me, an artist whose focus was all things visual, thought I was beautiful. I must be radiating how I feel inside.

For the first time in so very very long, someone saw the real me, all of me from inside out. So, today, I dedicate this post to him. A man who saw me when I had been invisible and completely ignored for so many years, that I wondered if I even existed anymore.

What do I love about my Valentine? He's funny, handsome, considerate, sexy, virile, smart, talented, hard-working, a little dangerous and most importantly, has clear vision.

Share with us. How did your Valentine change your life?


  1. You forgot one thing , I have a
    pointed tail .
    Love you ,and Happy Valentines Day !

  2. My Valentine took a defeated, deflated man and breathed new life into him, billowing him up with warmth and love and letting him rise up once again, to feel the sun and ride the breeze and live life anew.

    I hope your Valentine does too. :)

  3. people tend to underestimate how much of an impact online friendships can have.
    Glad to see you found someone to help you out.

  4. A wonderful story. And the Valentine is right. Your inner beauty radiates so much that it eclipses your outer beauty, but the outer beauty ain't bad either. =P

    My valentine, I actually met online as well. We were both in dying marriages and we propped each other up. We started as mutual shoulders to cry on, and people to vent to. We eventually became close. So close I was willing to uproot and move 900 miles away from 'home' to be with her, just as she did with me 2 years prior.

    It's funny how, when you finally see love in it's purest form, you realize that you never really knew love beforehand...

  5. Max;
    I love you too, dear! This day is for you, Handsome!

    Thanks. He is an ass and he lost out on the best thing that could ever happen to him, someone who stayed with him even when he was cruel.

    Your valentine is brilliant and magical!

    My blogger friends are some of the best friends I've ever had and then there's love too if one wishes to find it, as well. What I love about it is that you start a blog about horror or the paranormal and you already start meeting like people. It's better than a dating service at compatibility.

    That's the prettiest thing I've ever heard. Lucky, lucky gal. Not many guys realize just what they're getting when they get a loyal gal who loves them.

  6. Everyone is beautiful. And glad someone made you see the reality. Your ex, if he wasn't attracted to you in the first place, he wouldn't have asked you to marry him. So he's an idiot and losy a beautiful woman. Your valentine is the lucky guy!

  7. My valentine is my second husband and worth it. We will have been married 34 years next month.

    As for my ex, he's an abuser and I am sure got his comeuppance years ago.

  8. Pamela;
    Thanks. My ex was OCD and a bitter angry man about everything. He looked for the flaws and the negative in every single thing he approached in life which is why everyone called him a "dick," me included. My Valentine is a smart man. I am a lucky gal to find a man who looks for the good and not the bad because what you focus on becomes your reality.

  9. So sorry for your mean ex. He has lost such a bright and pretty lady.
    I have the opposite situation. My husband thinks I'm beautiful (which is very nice). I'm the one who knows I'm ugly and that's why you never see me posting photos of myself. I barely got the nerve to put part of me in my new avatar.
    When I look in the mirror, I don't like what I see. I wish I could see what be sees.

    Wishing a lovely V' day.

  10. I'm so happy you've come out of hiding. You are a beautiful person; inside and out.

    My Valentine? Puts up with my craziness. You know the usual things; like being awakened from a sound sleep because I'm having a conversation with someone he doesn't see. Or middle of the night cautionary dreaming.

    But hey; he knew I was like this before he married me. But he married me, anyway; and I love him dearly.

  11. Sandra;
    Now you are being ridiculous, sweetie. There is a truth that whatever you are inside shines out. Every woman has something amazingly addictive about her that the longer you know her, the more beautiful she becomes. My ex had me wondering if we were seeing two completely different people. He screwed with my reality making me think I was the insane one for thinking I'm attractive and that all my attributes as an ideal mate should count for something in the equation. He negated what a superior partner I was in every single way. The man will never have someone like me again and he really doesn't deserve it when you can't appreciate it. I think it's wrong when people focus on what's wrong with something instead of what's right. What's right is something's redeeming qualities and what's wrong is someone's character flaws and we all know a complex character should have flaws. If your hubby sees your beauty, it's there. It's easy to get into the girl thing of defining yourself by every flaw, but in a room full of naked women, my guy should know it's me by the little "flaws" that become the lovable details that keep me human. Men might say they'd like perfection, but they wouldn't know what to do with it--they'd get very insecure maintaining a perfect woman--just look at Sandra Bullock and Christie Brinkley--if they can't keep a man, it's a sign of some really insecure dudes.

    Your man is brilliant! He chose the more loving and complexly interesting life than the tasteless boring one.

  12. Hey Sis,

    You know my Valentine with the Radio Voice! You even know about my ex. He even came back from his honeymoon yesterday and still picked a fight with me. Says he's happy with his new wife. HA! I say! I know him better than anyone.

    My Valentine has had a hard person to get through too. I am a hard-ass who has never felt worthy of any love. I have always felt like a failure and unattractive. To be honest, I still don't know what he sees in me! But I love him dearly and well, he has given me recently a wonderful gift! (wink, wink) He is an awesome man. Like another blogger said, we were just friends at first helping each other and being each others shoulder while trying to figure out why and how our bad marriages got to the place they did. I'm so happy I gave him a chance. I didn't want too. Nay, nay, nay!!!

  13. Oh, sweetie! Trust me when I say there are times when my brilliant husband would prefer boring, tasteless, plain vanilla. LOL!

  14. Sis;
    You are such a dear-heart and you really do need to own all your abilities and all your beauty. I was afraid in my marriage of owning my intelligence and my drive and my beauty. I let him hold all those cards. Now, I am living up to my potential. I always knew I was too much of a ball of energy and excitement, sexuality and creativity for him to handle. I no longer feel like I have to hold myself back so I don't outshine him. You are way too intelligent, talented, sweet and beautiful to hold yourself back for anyone. Own those traits. Men can come and go, but you can't let them leave with our self-esteem in their hands. They must never be the one who holds those things, but someone who simply appreciates them. Your beau appreciates them. You must hold them.

  15. Thanks MM. He's a bitter old man. I'm a happy girl. :-)

  16. Autumn, I love your profile pic. When you leave comments at BLC, I show you off and say to my friends, "See even smart attractive girls like my blog!"

    Great post today, the success of my blog has a lot to do with my valentine of 7 yrs.

  17. You're definitely absolutely beautiful :) I feel like there's more I should say but I'm pretty sure all of the other bloggers pretty much covered it :-p
    Hope you had a great Valentines Day :)

  18. Guy;
    Thanks, buddy! Keep the BF info coming!

    You're my dear sweet gal pal. You and I and 2011--awesome year! I know it!

  19. Wow. i am really appreciative of the blog post here and the comments. Really inspiring after what I have just been through and rebuilding my life. I try to say it doesn't hurt but it really does and it is a major life changing experience through which you must have friends.

  20. TE;
    Most of my family is gone and I'm alone in the west, except for my son and his fiancee. I find that my friends are my family. They don't have to love me because we're related, they simply love me because I have value in their eyes. Good luck, and you always have a band of folks here that get it. Im shocked how many of us have had such upheavels. We're a majority club, I believe.

  21. thanks for your words. i am who i am and i just have to accept myself and see the good in me.


Post a Comment