Monday, January 24, 2011

My Unusual Crushes

I will guarantee you there are not any man out there ready to offer that they have secret crushes on unattractive, overweight, balding or old ladies. Women are definitely step up on the evolutionary scale. In fact, I am extremely wary of handsome men. It's qualities I fall for and honestly handsome men don't have to work on their qualities.

My first crush ever was Nikola Tesla. He will always be my greatest crush. He was brilliant but his ideas were so left field that people thought he was insane, but he was insanely brilliant. He had those penetrating dark stares and strange OCD ways that made him rather reclusive. He was taken advantage of, never truly profited from his finds. He was a man misunderstood. I find brains to be very sexy.

Mike Rowe is perhaps not a hard crush to imagine. I do like manly men, but I don't like boastful ones or ones that would rather watch sports than take advantage of a willing woman in a bra and panties staring him down. He knows man stuff, is nicely chiseled, but also would drink beer from a bottle and likely open the door for a gal. The guys love him, and the women feel better having him in their home to fix things, lift things, and generally be a dude.

Seth Rogan, yes. But, not the new skinny one. I liked him better with unshaven face, belly and curly hair. He was funnier and less the romantic lead. I adored him in "40-year-old Virgin." Seriously, humor is what women always say they want and they truly do. Women have tough lives because it's not about them, it's always about the others in their life, children, man, friends, family. They don't even know what they want. They sink into bed late at night and worry about the next day and everyone in it. A man who can remind them that nothing is worth being that worried over, is a winner. Every man is gorgeous when he's funny. If he can take a woman from being self conscious about her body during sex and make her laugh--he's a keeper!

Phil Collins. Yes! I love his pointy nose, his pouty face, his blue eyes, his bald head, even his paunchy belly. He's a talent and passionate about it. I love men who have a craft or art they are into and they can focus on it to the point of not wanting to eat or sleep because he's onto something he's creating. I get the feeling from him that he would open doors, kiss knuckles and give a boyish smile. He will never age. Yum!

Brian Dennehy. WTF? Yeah, I'm surprised about that one. This says a lot about a man. He carries himself like he can have any woman he wants. He commands a room when he enters it. He acts like he could give a shit, but then he can growl and intimidate. It's all in his eyes. I cannot stop staring at those eyes. He's comfortable in his own skin, even though it's stretched over a bloated body. Every pore in that man's body exudes sex, sex, sex.

So, why in the world do women have crushes on these odd men? Because we see a man as a series of traits. When you are in love with his guitar playing, you notice his hands. His hands are beautiful. When he smiles, he has a dimple. You don't look him and look for what's wrong, like his extra pounds or his crooked teeth or his lack of hair on his head. You see this man whose voice moves you and gets you juicy, who's naughty grin makes you giggle. He is a personality and when you fall for his personality, you look for those features that attract your eye and he becomes a smile and strong manly eyebrows. You assign those features to the man you love and he becomes gorgeous.

If you ever see an unattractive man with a good looking woman, you might just be seeing that weird female quality at work. You almost never see a handsome man with an ugly woman but if you do, you've found a very mature fellow.


  1. Well, you've set the hurdle nice and low there.

  2. Hey, Sucio. Doesn't mean I don't find Adrian Paul to be the single most perfect man in the world, but I highly suspect he may not have the content I would search for. The hurdle a man must past is internal, not external.

  3. I've got a wide appreciate for women of all ages, builds, etc. Even bald ladies, like Sinead O'Connor, or the woman in that Star Trek movie I can't remember the name of.

    Women are beautiful for lots of reasons. Like our host, the lovely Autumnforest, who's unrivalled passion for ghost hunting and bizzare things (and blogging about them) makes her far more than just a pretty face.

    (Plus I just LOVE the name Autumnforest, since Fall is my favorite season and forests are a favorite place of mine)

    I'm glad you can see people's inner beauty. (So many can't!)

  4. Bubba;
    What a dear thing to say. Insightful man. Yes, if I could find a place that was autumn year-round, I'd be there. I dream of places like Portland and Nova Scotia and anywhere in the northern latitudes. You can probably tell by my profile pic, I carry the autumn leaf on my upper right arm. I've considered having it repeated on other parts of me just as if they drifted down on me. Can't decide. I think it loses it specialness when there's more than one.

  5. Yes, leave the leaf singular. Uniqueness is what makes things like that special (just like you!)

  6. Good luck with Tesla. Always an idol of mine even since a little kid. I could imagine the two of you have an ...... "electrifying".... relationship. I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.

  7. Yes, but would that be A/C or D/C?

  8. I wish there were more people in the world who shared your view on these matters, Autumn. People at my school are pretty shallow, seemingly caring about little other than appearances. As for the whole "weird crushes" thing, I understand. Every girl I've wanted to go out with has been a little on the short side. I don't get it, but then again, does it matter?

  9. HN;
    Yup. Imagine me--rebel and nonconformist that I am, going to a very upper class high school? It's funny. My mom started me in school a year early. I was too bored and bright, I guess. So, I was a year ahead in school. then I hit that high school with it's "Mean Girls" and sleazy rich boys and I graduated a semester early to get out which put me technically 2 years ahead of schedule. I was thrilled to start college as I was turning 17. Different crop of people--they were actually in it to learn--imagine that? I found my people! I am now living in an upper middle class neighborhood with trophy wives and sports stars and Intel engineers. Argh! I soooo do not get them. Cannot wait to leave for some place green and wet with real people living there.

  10. Remember Scott Glenn in "Urban Cowboy" or William Dafoe in anything? You would never see a movie with a creepy ugly woman as a lead charismatic character. I think as women we tend to be ruled by the "feelings" we get from men, that and/or the "security" they can offer us and men tend to be ruled by the "visual",and they maybe also think they can recapture some of their youth with someone young and fertile.
    Personally I'm strongly drawn to someone who is "honorable" kinda hard to find these days... Someone who will do the right thing even when it isn't popular and of course someone who is compassionate and caring....
    and if he looks like George Clooney...I wouldn't cry about it.

  11. Cindi;
    Yes, I agree with those. I like Tom Skeritt too--the older version and when he's not wearing his rug. My ex actually killed the marriage when he told me he was not longer attracted to me. Perfect wife--perfect parter--perfect therapist--perfect cook--hostess--sex goddess and all negated by my "appearance." Apparently, he assumed I would always be a swimsuit model? Well, imagine that! I guess I always assumed he would not be an asshole. Was I wrong!

  12. my crushes are guys like
    Ryan Gosling
    Ed Norton
    Ed Burns
    Matthew Fox
    and of course my # 1 crush is Paul Banks from Interpol!

    I'm gonna see Interpol again in May. They're coming to Nashville. I'm so excited, Yee Ha!

  13. HA! I LOVE that!
    Yeah, men can get paunchy and bald yet they expect a woman to remain "perfect"...just look at the TV sitcoms with budges as hubbies and the wives are stepford ones! I remember in my youth working out like a fiend and wouldn't be caught dead in my glasses. I had my "image" to live up to! So... it's kinda nice getting old! LOL! Now I know they like "me" and not just because of how I look!
    Oh! and how could I forget the most important factor! If my dog doesn't like ya, there's no chance...nothin' to talk about.

  14. I don't know who that last guy is, but if he is screaming 'sex' then I'd back away very quickly and hope to outrun him.

  15. Sandra--have a blast!

    Les--Some men just have a sex thing about them. There is something about Brian that often makes me blush. I can sense it. Perhaps it's the psychic in me picking up something, but that man just makes me think about sex when I look at him and hear him. Can't explain it. Yeah, I'm a freak.

  16. Cindi;
    Amen for getting older, huh? The up side of losing my bikini figure--I have D cups. Never had those when I modeled, that's for sure.

  17. I see attractive men with unattractive women all the time. I just don't see it much in Hollywood. Hollywood doesn't allow much room for unattractive women but celebrates very unattractive men. In my daily life, I often find myself wondering what some attractive man is doing with a woman who isn't that good looking. I think some men can see beyond the physical, just not many in Hollywood.

  18. Jessica;
    I readily admit that all my guy pals admit that the physical attraction has to be there. They admit they're pigs and that's the way it is. I guess women would have to confess that the man not being a bum when it comes to work probably counts too. Where I live, I've never seen an attractive man with an unattractive woman EVER. Perhaps our ratios of available men are so low that the men can pick out the pretties when they are attractive. Seriously, look at any successful man whether it's Trump or a rock star or TV star and you can see real trolls with total hotties. We know what's at work. Men can buy pretty women when they're successful enough, so women are just as disappointing when it comes down to it. I guess I'm a freak, but I actually want to spend time with my guy. We'd have to have some connecting spots and I'd have to admire him. I was in a relationship where I avoided my guy at all costs. It would be novel to actually be with a man I want to be with because of who he is--not what he is.

  19. Why am I not on this list ?
    LOL !

  20. Max
    You are not an unusual crush. You are the obvious crush--handsome, sarcastic, witty and a wonderfully tipped tail! Every gal's dream.

  21. Ah boy.. you picked Genesis?!

    I dont find him much of a looker, but the man can sing.

  22. Hey Mr. Smith;
    You know, Mick Jagger can sing and women find him attractive (not me, he terrifies me), but there must be some quality that overrides any general unattractiveness to make him seem attractive when he isn't classically so. I can't believe I just said that. It sounds like something my college philosophy teacher would say...

  23. OMG! I just had one of those
    "Ah-Ha!" moments that Oprah is always talking about! I was going to send you a link to Mick Jagger in the 1960's and ask how you could not think he was the hottest thing EVER! And while I was scanning photos I realized that my first love looked just like him! Ha! and he had a crappy job and was wild and irresponsible! And I was MADLY in love! Gawd! I'm no better than all these "visual guys!" LOL!, nevermind.

  24. what does it say about me having a crush on David Spade?

  25. Sis;
    EWWWW! Yeah, I guess someone has to have a crush on the little runt. Girls are weird, aren't we? I have friends with crushes on men I would never ever think are attractive, but there's something about their personalities that gets them juiced up. You know what they say, whatever floats your boat.