Ghostly Phone Calls?

There are some questions I repeatedly hear when people talk to me about ghost hunting. “Do ghosts follow you home?” “Can ghosts have sex with you?” and “I have this friend who got a call from her dad after he died. Is that possible?”

Here’s my own strange experience. My sister, Tina, died in 2005. When she passed on, she and I had just been talking about my ghost hunting and desire to reach our family members we’d lost. She said she’d be joining them at Aspen Grove some day when she passed on (she didn’t know she would die a month later).

When she passed quite suddenly, I remember settling down from the sobbing long enough to say, “Tina, please give me a sign. You know me. Give me one sign you know I’ll get.” At the time, I was sitting on my bed and the shade on the lamp beside me swung fully to its extension one direction then the other. I tested the shade and it was so stiff I had to push it against resistance to make it move. Then, once it was in one direction, it stayed there until I pushed it the other way. At the time, I told her it was a lame sign and was not at all obviously her communicating to me.

I went back to work and was sitting at my computer where I always had e-mailed Tina several times a day. Sometimes, the most mundane things, “I’m making tacos tonight,” “Alex just got an A on his final in geometry,” “It’s finally raining!” I felt like a limb was missing. I wanted to write her every time something happened. I’d open my hotmail account and stare at the screen. I realized then that it said in the corner whose birthday was coming up. It listed “Tina January 1st" as the only birthday and it was not even the right birthday. Her name was there in big blue letters, taunting me. I thought about removing her address from my contacts, but that would make her completely gone for me. I left her on there for years, learning to ignore the sign that showed her wrong birthday.

Several days ago, while cleaning up files and deleting things I'd kept too long, I finally went in and removed her from the list of contacts.

I went on the next day and she was still listed as a birthday on the fictitious January first. In fact, her email was still there along with a pop up message box with “Send Tina a quick message.” I shook my head. I’m too logical to believe my sister was putting herself back into my contact list over and over again and begging for a message. I removed her address again. Still, the next day she popped up. To test it, I removed someone else from my list. That person remained off the list. Tina, however, continued to pop up with the request to message her.

I couldn’t resist. I went into the box that said “send Tina a message” and wrote “Are you there?”

Are you getting shivers now?

Well, the shivers aren’t necessary--yet.

I got a message back from her husband who couldn’t get rid of her email address and used it himself now. He hadn’t communicated since her death. She was the one who did all the letter writing and communications for the family and he wasn’t the writing type. He updated me on my nephews and then told me, “Did you write because it’s the anniversary of her death? I can’t believe it’s been four years today.”

I was shocked. She had died so suddenly during the holiday time that I didn’t actually mark the date in my mind. I was so confused, I could barely think straight. I just knew it was between Thanksgiving and Christmas some time, unsure if it was November or December.

Sounds kind of coincidental, until you consider this: When I got his return message, I wrote him back and then proceeded to remove her again from the contact list. This time, she remained gone.

The manipulation of electronics wouldn’t be how a spirit would communicate with you. It would be done on a psychic level. The feel of a warm hand on your shoulder when you’re having a very bad day, their favorite song on the radio when you drive past their neighborhood, perhaps even the introduction of someone who will help fill their role in your life and serendipitously find that person also loves oil paintings and playing chess just like your loved one.

When you love someone, you really do become a part of them. You become spiritually intertwined. If you’ve lost someone important you probably remember driving around on the road and seeing people rushing to jobs and daily routines and you feel strangely removed and other-dimensional as if time stood still for you. That strange disconnect is important to taking on a big shock and a new reality, but another part of that could very well be that a fraction of your spirit intertwined with theirs in the spirit world. The more time away from the person, the more break between your spirits, but it’s never completely broken. It’s that connection that makes it possible for psychic connections, a kind of missing limb sensation, as it were. It also explains why it's usually in the first days or week of a person's passing that you are "visited" by them--the connections psychically are still very powerful.

Is there a way to enhance the communication with the other side without involving a ouija board or séance? Yes! As bizarre as it may seem, depending on what I’m facing in my life, I call upon a different missing relative. If I’m dealing with my career issues, I actually talk to my mother. I don’t know why. She wasn’t a big career woman, but she had strong aspirations for me and seemed to intuitively know which way I should go with my talents. If I have issues with major decisions, I talk to my father. My sister Tina is purely for motherhood issues. My brother, Scott, is for courage when I’m afraid to do something. With dozens more relatives and friends, I have plenty to pick from. They become sort of patron saints of different parts of my life.

Periodically, I sit down and speak aloud, catching up my parents on what’s happened since their passing or telling my sibling what’s up with their children. It’s an odd thing to do, but in a weird way I’m making it real to me and putting the need to communicate out there so I’m relieved. I also find that after catching them up on the news, I miraculously receive little signs and often times small resolutions or even big resolutions in the issues I was speaking to them about. I’m not a hocus-pocus kind of person; however, I am impressed with the results.

Will your loved one leave you a text message? Not likely. It’s more likely to go down in a strangely psychic manner. You’ll pick up a conversation with someone, feel immediately comfortable with him, ask his name and find out it’s the same one your loved one had. You’ll think about taking a shortcut through a parking lot to miss an intersection that’s bogged up and you’ll pass by a restaurant sign and realize it was the one she talked about all the time, a place you’ve never been and didn’t know where it was located, but today you happened to go through that part of town and cut through that lot and look up to see that sign…

You might ask, "but why couldn't you erase your sister from your hotmail unless she had a hand in it?" Truth be told, I went back and studied what I'd done in the process of removing her from the file and I hadn't verified taking her off. In my subconscious or perhaps my ties to her psychically, I had not confirmed removing her from the list...until I was ready to.

Yes, I do believe there is magic that occurs between the dead and the living and I believe it is recognized only by your soul and not your consciousness. Ask anyone who's lost someone how many times they dream of their deceased loved one? There is no better time, no better state of mind to make the connection.

If you want them to "call" you, they'll do so without a phone.


  1. Great post. I've never had such experiences, but someone in my family has. She has had visitations after two people's deaths in the family. They were just sort of... Check-Ins before finally moving on. But she's always been far more "sensitive" than me. Whereas, I might get a generally feeling about a place, sometimes as specific as an emotion, she has seen more apparitions than me. I've seen one (I think) and I've heard audible phenomena on two separate occasions (again, I think). She doesn't wrestle with the skepticism as much and just "goes with it", which may explain why she's more open. Of course, I think this makes her open to both real events and misperceptions. She has to then sort that out later.

  2. Cullan;
    Good point which is the whole gist of my ghost book that I'm finishing up right now. How to know if it was a paranormal event or not. I'm extremely logic minded but also have enjoyed many paranormal events in my life and a helluva lot that seemed paranormal but were explainable. I had a visitation after my father's death--really close to the moment of death. It really made me wonder about spirits versus intention. If there is a possibility that occurs when someone thinks of a person at the critical moment and can project. So many possibilities out there, so much to learn. We still know next to nothing about the paranormal world yet it's obvious that even from ancient times man was visited by the paranormal realm. I love this field. I'm such a geek.

  3. That entire week that my father was in the hospital and dying, I felt the whole world was moving around me but I was just standing still. I felt like I was in some sort of dream state. I talk to my Dad all the time especially when I want him to be there from my Mom when she is going through a rough patch.

  4. I hate to bust out a meme on a serious post, but I can't resist...

    "But who was phone?"

  5. Julie;
    Yeah. Isn't that surreal when you lose someone you love? It's like the rest of the world is rushing around super fast and you're standing still. You observe it like an alien visitor. None of it has meaning. You are not part of that conveyer belt. It interests me this screwing up of time in a moment when you are in emergency mode. It's protectively emotionally but I often wonder if it actually is a way to hold onto a moment longer and a form of time travel in a way in which you slow down your time line to absorb and adjust to new knowledge. Damn! I think I have a new Mind Fuck Tuesday subject--thanks sis!

  6. Vapor;
    Okay, I don't get the question. Try me again, buddy. It's too early on a Sunday morning.

  7. This really is kinda interesting. I can promise that if I were reading this at night i may have turned my cell off.

  8. Good post, but sad. I'm sorry about your sister. I read a book on magic recently for a project I was working on and one of the things it said was to turn off the computer and telephone before you work. The author of that book clearly saw telephones and computers as portals for spiritual energy too.

  9. Chuck;
    Oh, my! You will really get spooked in October here. :-)

    I can understand that point of view. I actually have a "What Would You Do?" Coming up in a week or so about the subject of electrical issues in hauntings. I am beginning to think that my psychic skills are tied to something on an electrical level too which might explain my inability to wear watches and why some objects are easier to read than others. My brother died at 43, my sister at 50. I have lost many before their time, but one thing I learned as the baby of the family is to live your life every day with people you love letting them know they are precious. You make goofy memories, you send them cards for no reason, you often compliment then and encourage them and huge them and tell you how much they are loved. We only get to borrow people, we don't get to keep them. So, if they do leave me early, I know they were aware they were loved every day and I know I was loved too. They leave me behind with amazing strengths by their example. I would not be the maternal woman I am without my older sister's influence and I wouldn't be the intellectual and physical daredevil if it weren't for my intelligent adventurer brother. I think I just have a grip on grief that makes me able to not dig my heels in and whine about not having them any longer, but to smile and feel warm inside for ever being touched by them. Oh, jeez, now I guess I need to write a post that makes sense for a person who is a ghost hunter--the subject of grief. I might have to lift some words from this comment. Jessica, you are an inspiration and a curious ghost seeker. Keep searching for your answers, dear. They are different for all of us, thankfully. I don't think any of us come to the same conclusion but the fun is in the adventure of making contact and coming up with theories.

  10. What an absolutely facinatingly eerie story.

  11. Sounds like a Cantonese ghost story.

  12. Here is something that happened to me. My Mom had had many surgeries and health problems in her life. When I had to be in the hospital for surgery she just couldnt stand seeing me there. After she passed away, I had to have gall bladder surgery. I came out of the recovery room, my Husband left me for the night, and I sat on my bed feeling kind of blue. I looked up at the TV in the room, and Judging Amy or some kind of lady judge drama show was on. I never watched that show, but anyway, I noticed the name plate on the judge's desk and it was my Mom's first inital and maiden name. First I thought, hmmm thats weird, then I realized that she must have been with me and wanted me to know it. I kept watching that show and never saw the name plate again.

  13. Halloween Spirit;
    You make me smile. That's just the kind of thing that happens. Part of it is that we're more tuned to pick up things we don't normally notice. It's like when you learn a new word and then you suddenly hear everyone using it. Everyone used it before, but now you're ready to pick it up and note it. That moment in time on the screen would have been ignored, but because of the state you were in recalling the other hospital experiences, an intuitive part of you nagged you to look up at the screen. We are all psychic tuners and we use it now and then in the right state of mind. The key now is to learn how to use that instinct more often. That was a beautiful example of a signal from the other side and how it would present itself, but more importantly, how you would take note of it in an intuitive way.

  14. Such a great post. Oddly enough last week we did a lot of off-roading here in AZ. I am also coming up on the eight year anniversary of my husbands death. I've thought about him a lot over the last month, since it was 10 years ago that we found out that he had Lou Gehrig's disease. Replaying those last few months of normalcy...and wishing he were still here. Well on Saturday we off roaded in Devils Canyon outside of Globe, a person joined our group that I had never met before...I could not believe how much he looked like my DH and he had the same name. He must have thought I was strange...I stared at him so much. I never told him why I was looking at him...

  15. Someone related a similar story to me recently, but it involved seeing the deceased's IM come online. It turned out to be the recently passed girl's father.

    Shortened version: the person felt like the deceased connected them at a moment when they were both down, facing the first holiday without her.

  16. Waterrose;
    Yes. I'm reminded of that scene in the movie "Bruce Almighty" when he's having his crisis moment in his car and begging God for a sign and in front of him a truck pulls out and the back of it is filled with signs. It was hilarious that he couldn't see them, he was so caught up in his grief. You are a brave woman to go through Lou Gehrig's with someone you loved so much. That you had him in your life makes you extremely blessed and to have endured it with him makes you very wise.

    I think it's possible to bring people together that way. When people I love die, I ask myself what they would have wanted me to do. For my sister, it was something silly. She would have told me to do something girlie and spoil myself at a spa. My mother? She would want me to continue studying the family genealogy. My father? He would want me to write. My brother would want me to know the relatives in CA that our mother kept us away from when we were growing up. Connecting with those relatives shocked me. I met a cousin I hadn't seen since I was a kid. Not only was he exactly the identical twin to my father at the very age my father died, but he sounded like him, gestured like him, laughed like him, and had his exact personality. I sat there in shock for a few hours, fighting back tears. I hadn't talked to my father since I was 16 and because my brother made me promise to meet my western relatives, I recalled my father in ways I had completely forgotten over the years. Later, I put on some video of my dad and an audio tape I had. Identical. It was shocking. Almost to the day he died and the same age. Freaky, freaky!


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