Thursday, January 6, 2011

Dale the Doll: Interview with Caged Carrie

This is my first in a series of interviews with The Human's abandoned doll collection. Expect one every Thursday.

Since I'm running this posting today, I took the liberty of choosing the doll on my shelf that I think is the most bad-ass scary. I haven't so much as tried to pick her up or even talk to her or, hell, even look at her!

The Human set us up together for the interview and I admit I was glad the cage was between us. I wanted to know this gal's story, but I wasn't sure what I'd find. Well, here's the interview and I hope you're not a bunch of big babies because her story is going to trouble you big soft human beings.

DALE: I have to admit, I've been sitting on the other end of the shelving unit from you with a bunch of dolls between us. You probably know that you're kind of scary. Maybe it's the cage or the weird eyes. Where the hell did you come from?

CAGED CARRIE: I was a little girl's doll. She always liked to wrap me in blankets and push me in a stroller and let me sleep beside her. She talked to me all the time. I was her best friend. One day, her parents got her a parakeet. It squawked all the time. I think it made her mad. She couldn't sleep because of the noise. The bird died suddenly one night. Another time, her mother punished her for hanging up the phone when her client was on the other end. The mother's purse was set on fire. A girl came to visit and play in the room and stuffed me into the toilet. That visiting girl tripped and fell onto a bunch of tacks.

Dale: The little girl sounded dangerous. I never trust humans. How did you keep from getting hurt?

Caged Carrie: She would never hurt me!

Dale: Did she cause anymore troubles?

Caged Carrie: Oh, she never caused any trouble.

Dale: But, you said that she lit her mom's purse on fire, killed the parakeet, made the kid fall onto a bunch of tacks.

Caged Carrie: No. She didn't do those things. I did. No one messes with people I love.

Dale: T-then how did you end up in the bird's cage?

Caged Carrie: Well, you see, her parents thought she had done all those things. They wouldn't believe her. They took away her toys to punish her. Her mother gathered up the cage and me and her other toys and dumped us into a big box. Her father drove it to the donations place, but the box fell out along the roadway. Someone picked up the box and dragged it into the desert and took a bunch of the toys from it and left me there wedged into the cage. I sat there on the desert floor for almost a year in the heat and the rain.

Dale: So, how did the human get you?

Caged Carrie: She was wandering around an abandoned place and saw all the toys spread out in the desert. She picked me up and that headless doll.

Dale: What was The Human thinking bringing you into her place?

Caged Carrie: Actually, she was thinking that if you acted up, she'd take me out of my cage. I don't like when people are mean to those I love. If you mess with the human and I get out of this cage, I'm going after you, you little plastic eunuch!

Dale: This interview appears to be coming to a close. If you ever wondered about Caged Carrie's story, it is a disturbing one. We can be thankful that she is stuck inside that metal grating. At least, I sure as hell am!


  1. Carrie sounds a wee bit like Chuckie!!! You better behave Dale or Carrie will get out of her cage and hurt your plastic little body.

  2. She really does not seem to like him in the least. In fact, her head is turned towards him right now on the shelf and he knows she's looking at him, so he's kind of ducking down behind Skittles. I keep her apprised of what he's been up to so she can know when I might need her. When I found her at the trailer park the first time I was there, she was a wreck. I left her all messy like I found her. She seems to like it. In fact, one time I took her out of the cage and her body was all shaped to fit into it and couldn't go back to normal. She's kind of grown into it.

  3. I can understand Dale having the heebie jeebies with her watching him, I would. She is very creepy.

  4. Her history is nothing compared to the others...

  5. Yeah, she's not the worst, though.

  6. Yah, Yah, sure, Caged Carrie is creepy, but those people deserved what they got. The human was good to rescue Carrie and give her a home. As to you Dale - I see you are being punished by having to wear that sweater in public. You are such a doof. I enjoyed the interview, but I will bet the human had to give you question prompts to make it interesting.

  7. MM;
    You keep bugging me, and I'm going to have to come over to your blog and leave a little Dale bomb on your comment section. I made up all those questions and, once more, I ain't afraid of no dolly.

  8. Dales sweater makes Bill Cosby look like a bum. Great interview with an interesting doll.

  9. Hey Vapor;
    He's self conscious of that outfit. It beats his Halloween Pajama Onesies that says "First Halloween." He also has a western outfit. Maybe I can get him to wear that. He thought it was too casual, but preppy just doesn't suit him. I could see him in a black mortuary dude's suit.

  10. " A girl came to visit and play in the room and stuffed me into the toilet. That visiting girl tripped and fell onto a bunch of tacks."

    Fantastic! Dale needs his own YouTube channel and Twitter account.

    Creepy dolls make terrific subject matter. Maybe a story is in order: "He left a small piece of himself in each doll he so lovingly crafted, and when he died, they lived on without him...."

  11. Leo;
    This is a rag-tag bunch. I pick up abandoned dolls any time I find them at abandoned sites. Their stories are intriguing. It could be a suspense anthology all told from the doll's POV. I'd rather make it into a video, personally, if Dale is willing to host it. I think I better get him some better hosting clothes. In fact, I will be doing that on my lunch break. We'll see if we can make him look a little neater for his next creepy interview.

  12. Sometimes, and espeically in this case, a cage is a good idea. Hope you stay safe :)

    What an absolutely clever idea. You are a very creative lady. :)


  13. This is scary. Keep her in this steel cage for safety.

  14. First came the freaky clown doll. Now this. I'm truly scared.

  15. You will get more frightened in the next interview next Thursday with the doll that Dale has a crush on. Her story is very dark.

  16. Definitely something not quite right with that one; but she's not the worst. Right about that. There's one even more creepy than Skittles. Skittles the Psycotic Schizoid. Really, it's just a joke Skittles. Human? Will you and Dale please not say I said that?

    Seriously. I logged off your blog the other day (entirely different matter) walked into the other room and Postal commercial with the creepy clown was on TV. EEK!!

  17. Brenda;
    Welcome to my world! I love that commercial because that's what life around here is like.

  18. Let's see....Dale has a Western outfit and that "bad ass" sweater, does he also have Indian, policeman, leatherman, sailor and construction worker outfits? It would figure.

  19. MM;
    He complained about the cold so I got him an arctic explorer coat. I almost got him some fuzzy winnie the pooh onesie pajamas. I should have done it, but he's not being too bad lately. He usually is repentant after October and then come springtime, he starts it up again.