Friday, December 17, 2010

Finding a Psychic

In my post “Watch Your Wallet: Flim-Flam Ghost Communications” I discussed finding a psychic in a room full of psychics, but suppose you want to go to psychic’s strip mall shop or one inside a new-age store or even one your friend goes to that works from home?

Friends: Should you take the friend into the room with you? A good psychic will tell you that it’s not a good idea because it will interfere with the reading. If they don’t tell you that, then be suspicious. A good psychic would let you record the session so you can play it back later because ideally during the session you will offer nothing but a poker face—no eyes widening, no head bobbing, no signs of reassurance. This is a very hard part of a reading but if you give even a slight recognition, the psychic will repeat what they said in several different ways to reaffirm they hit the nail on the head. This is a cold reading technique and a great parlor trick used by sham artists. See this old post about whether your psychic is a mentalist. When you get a full reading, a lot of the content is lost to you because you focus on the parts that apply and ignore the ones that don’t. If you recorded it, you can play it back and see just how “on” this psychic was.

Physical contact: Ideally, the psychic will read your palm or use tarot cards or in some way touch you or pass something physically between you, perhaps have you hold a crystal and hand it back. That physical contact makes the passing of information easier. You’re going to run into a lot of different psychic types; tarot card readers, aura readers, channelers with spirit guides, tea leaf readers, palm readers, and mediums who speak to the dead, but the need to link is the same for all of them.

So, what type of psychic should you use? That will be entirely up to you. I’m going to say that fake psychics, if unprompted by you, will assume you are having relationship problems and then second assume that you are having finance/career problems. They are using cold reading techniques. If they approach you with either of this avenues, back away. I had one psychic come up to me in a shop and tap me on the shoulder and say “you shouldn’t feel guilty. It wasn’t your fault.” That was an enticement to get me to do a reading. The fact is, everyone feels guilty about something. I didn’t bite. I, in fact, had zero in my life to feel guilty about, I’m an upfront kind of gal. I declined her offer, but on a person who doesn’t know these techniques, that burst of “knowledge” spontaneously would shock them. I could come up to you and say “you’re not making yourself understood to your loved one. There is poor communication because of it.” Voila! (95% of the population if you’re dating the opposite sex). Some times, I enjoy getting my aura photo done, that’s probably one of my favorites, but if I were having a personal reading, I’d choose a palm reader for the fact that a physical connection can bring a greater depth to the reading. I read palms, but I have the advantage of the touching as well as the hand to give me a much better reading of the person.

Who do you trust? A psychic is like finding a friend. You have to look them in the eye, shake their hand, and see if you feel comfortable. A good psychic will not have a problem with eye contact. In fact, they need it. It’s a good sign if they can look you in the eye instead of summing you up head to toe as if checking how nice your purse and shoes are and hence assuming if you need cash or have cash so they can adjust the reading accordingly. If they seem to probe your eyes, they are making a connection. Good sign. Some psychics will tease you with just enough to make you come back. Avoid them at all costs! They’re like the therapist that stops the session when you just discovered you hate your father. If the psychic is in a shop and you can hear the reading they are doing with another person, definitely observe it. Is the person being read giving away information being reiterated to them by the psychic? Watch that interaction for those “gut feeling” signs that tell you this is not the one to use.

Warnings about using psychics: We all want to know what’s in store for us and many of us want someone else to make or justify our decisions, but that codependence that occurs with psychics is frightening. I know many people who have seen the same psychic weekly for many years. This is a therapist, not a psychic. A psychic should give you a few moments of a window into knowledge about you and your life and set you free to be empowered by that information. They should give you techniques to deal with it at home. I recently read a dead relative of a dear friend and I told him that the reason she showed up during the reading (something I’ve never had happen before) was because every time he thought of her, she came. She was extremely maternal and protective of her “favorite.” So, I told him that he should feel free to talk to her out loud and not feel stupid. When he has a hard time in his life, she will come and be there and he should feel her comfort and know what decision he must make because he will feel the rightness of it in his gut. He doesn’t need me anymore. He shouldn’t. He can continue on his own now after a 10-minute read. Admittedly, I don’t charge for this service, but if I decided to make my living as a psychic, I would ideally be more into helping a quantity than a chosen few who come regularly. It works my skills and it spreads the insight to more people.

Warning signs:

When you give no visual or audio feedback the psychic gets frustrated and says “the spirits aren’t talking today” or some other excuse for lack of information. If they stop and ask you “does this sound familiar?” They are hoping to get information from you. Instead, say “keep telling me more and I’ll let you know.” Put it off and do not give feedback if you can help it.

He/She wants to set up your next appointment before you leave. Congratulations, you now have an unlicensed therapist!

They want to sell you things with the treatment from crystals/stones to protective devices or charms.

Under no circumstances make the reading “fit” by twisting your knowledge. Well, she said that my sister was sick for a long time. One time she did have mono… It’s possible for a psychic to pick up stray “signals” and go down the wrong path but they should be able to have a technique to pull back in and hone in on you, whether it’s touching you, having you touch something, or restudying your eyes.

Consumer Savvy: I readily admit that the same consumer skills that keep you safe in the real world do the same here. You know how when you see a ton of cheesy godawful commercials by the same company at every commercial break you think, “I would be paying for this ads if I go there…” This applies to psychics too. Check out their clothing and jewelry and overhead of their location. It sounds cruel, but if the shop is in a strip mall or a rented building, there is a big hungry rent to pay. If they are visiting for a short time, like a weekend, in your town and asking a large sum of money because they are famous or somehow have a piece of amazing equipment or spirit guide…be very wary. Spiritualism is as big a business as the church.

What can you do on your side to prepare for a reading? My advice is, don’t seek out a psychic if there is any aspect of your life you do not want to talk about or confront. The funny thing about psychic readings is when you get a legitimate psychic they will focus on the one thing you are trying the most not to expose. So, if you go to the reading hoping to discuss your love life and prospects but the one thing you don’t want to deal with is your boss picking on you at work and making you miserable, guess that the psychic is more likely to pick up on? The thing you don’t want to face because it has a place in the mind’s storage that is like an unlocked box just waiting to be raided. Kind of like when someone says “don’t picture a wooden crate with apples in it.” What did you just do? You just envisioned it, didn’t you?

I could have probably made this post into smaller installments. There’s so much to talk about in relation to psychics. Feel free to ask me more. I know other psychics would be really angry I’m confessing all this, but hey consumerism should work in the spiritual realm too.

Honest psychics have an important role: Lots of psychics make a good living doing an honest service and I appreciate that very much. Doctors do humanitarian work and charge for what they do, so psychics certainly should feel free to. It’s not a way that I ever personally wanted to make a living doing because all readings become part of my memory as much as my own memories. They are stored a similar fashion in the brain. I have enough life content of my own and don't need others' content roaming around my thick skull. Perhaps one area I wouldn't mind utilizing my psychometry skill is in finding lost people and helping police with touching evidence. I'm not so emotionally frail that going into the head of a killer bothers me. Honestly, you view things through their own emotional content which is devoid and so there is no horror about it, just hard cold facts and detachment.

LONELY ON A FRIDAY NIGHT: Don't forget, from 7 pm EST onward tonight, we have Lonely on a Friday Night here. Just comment back and forth, chit chat, talk about anything, ask questions, discuss Ghost Adventures or what you're having to drink. Anything and everything. Flirt, chuckle, piss folks off, whatever mood you're in. I'll be here on time and ready to join in.


  1. This looks like some really good advice. I have never had a reading done. I feel if you have been told something, you are more likely to make the prophecy self fulfilling.

  2. I guess psychics do work as mirrors.

  3. MM;
    I never tell the future. You want to know why? It's not set in stone. I know if you continue on this path what you are likely to run into, but you could turn the corner right instead of left and change the whole thing. There is no such thing as fate, there is adaptability. Every day, we start our day with the best intentions to get this, that, and that done and then this, that and that get in the way and take on a veering course. That's what I love about life. You cannot repeat the same day and each one is a new prize with potentially amazing finds.

    Good analogy!

  4. Aye one psychic\spiritualist medium that i've met that impressed this serious sceptic borderline cynic was the supervisor at the garage I worked for.He was a big,loud,good humoured ex~squaddie whoes dirty sense of humour was as filthy as his couldnt get more down to earth n he'd look you in the eye.tell you what he thought,you dont like it shouldnt have asked.Not your typical giver of readings,sometimes he'd come up to you to pass on a message or you'd have to ask him yourself.he saw spirits,had a spirit guide and was open about it entirely,if you chose to scoff didnt bother him.he never asked for anything did to help,,was when he saw my sister who died a young child,no one knew of her and he had a message from her for me and knew her name,how n when she died,that was my proof thou i knew he was genuine that blew me away

  5. BadPenny;
    I have to say that's an ideal sensitive. He obviously was comfortable with his ability and not out to impress anyone. When I do a reading, I admit that I need to turn away from the person and not allow them to speak. I need to just get the thoughts and images out as soon as possible and without interruption. I have never done a reading without thinking of my own self first. Since I am always a skeptic first, I do readings to prove to myself that this insane skill is there. Now, how it works and why--is always a mystery. I get closer and closer to understanding the workings of it, but mostly I am not out to impress a soul but myself. I need to constantly reassure myself that it is, in fact, real and whether I want it or not, I've got it. Sounds like this man was just a messenger and that's the way it should be. Not a therapist, but a messenger.