Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Dale the Doll: Did You Miss Me?


(Funniest Xmas pup on the Internet)

I’ve been around, but laying low. The Human was pretty pissed at me on Halloween. You see, while she was went to bed after the slim-pickings of Trick-or-Treaters left, she curled up in the bed and fell into an exhausted sleep.

So, that’s when my possessed side took over. You know, I have no control over the crazy dead wizard dude who keeps trying to take me over each October. Well, apparently the possessed me managed to braid her hair into the headboard and when she woke up and tried to lift up her head, her scream could be heard around the world. So, if you heard a yell during Halloween night, it was the Human.

She put me atop this display shelving in her office (above) with the other dolls. Don’t mind it so much. Skittles and I have been doing okay, because apparently he gets rather quiet when it’s not the scary season. He really hates Christmas even more than me. If the human plays the radio and there’s Christmas music, Skittles shudders and moans. When she goes onto Max Evel to see the dark Christmas vids, he chuckles. Go figure! I think he really loved that video about Santa being a dick. I gotta admit, it made me snort with mirth.

What’s the plan for Dale, you ask? My next project is to get the Human published. Why? Because she isn't dating yet and she's always underfoot. I figure if she's more busy and distracted, she might not notice that I figured out how to climb down from the shelving unit. I have no fear of heights, but I’m not all that coordinated, so it was a task, but I did it. In fact, the reason I’m using her laptop right now is that I got down during the night and snuck onto it. I nearly woke her up. She has her old bed leaned up in the hallway waiting for it to be hauled away and I ran into the wooden posts and knocked them over. She rushed out to see what it was and I had to hide behind the mattress. I nearly smothered!

So, my goal is to keep the Human busy, out of my hair and let me run the apartment with Skittles as my henchman and the pretty dolly girls as my companions. We will rule the place and I might even let Skittles watch “The View,” his favorite freaking show. I know better than to show him horror movies. He likes to act them out. I’m risky but I’m not stupid.

I just wanted my followers to know that I am now mobile and determined to continue my communications with you humans so I can better figure out how to deal with your kind.