Sunday, September 5, 2010

Halloween Series: Interview with Michael Myers


This is the beginning of my Halloween series on my blog. I will be having these often on the blog, little teasers for the coming dark season. Every Sunday, expect an interview with a horror movie killer. Today’s post is an interview with Michael Myers, famous killer of Haddonfield. Enjoy!

Autumn: Michael, people often refer to you as the boogeyman. Do you appreciate that moniker or does it make you even angrier than usual?

Michael: I don’t care if they wanna call me Boogeyman, Satan, demon, killer or psycho. I don’t answer to any names I’m called, anyways. I have my own agenda.

Autumn: And that agenda is?

Michael: (evil grin) Staying ahead of Jason Voorhes in killing totals, of course!

So, you’re a numbers man?

Michael: (leans forward, his dark eyes piercing from behind the mask) Aren’t all men goal-oriented? Take you, for instance. I could use my knife on you (swings his knife in the air), but the sight of your blood on your flesh would not give me gratification. You are the kind I would want to choke as I look into her warm brown eyes.

Autumn: (shifts uncomfortably, scoots her chair back) Your killings, then, they are random? You simply want to stack up numbers?

Michael: (shrugs and leans back in his chair) It depends on my mood. Just the other day, I let a Circle K clerk go simply because he didn’t beg. I respect that.

Autumn: Then, someone who faces his death bravely wins his life?

Michael: (chuckles) Not always. There is no guarantee who or how they die. I’m what you would call an improvising killer. I make it up as I go along.

Autumn: (under her breath) Hence, the poor plot lines….

Michael: What?

Autumn: (clears her throat) How do you see your retirement?

Michael: Killers never quit and quitters never kill. That’s my motto. I don’t see myself in a retirement home. Euthanasia is so passé.

Autumn: Well, I’d like to thank you for this impromptu interview, Michael. Before we go, would you like to tell us what your plans are this evening?

Michael: I have a single woman’s home I’m going to stalk. I’ll just pass back and forth outside the window and knock over a plant pot, making her come outside to see what it is. I’ll slip inside the door and into her apartment. Then, I plan to let her get comfortable, take a long leisurely bath, get into her robe, go to her room, turn on the TV, curl up in bed all alone to sleep and then when she just starts to nod off, I’ll come in and lean over her, putting my hands around her throat (holds his hands in the air in front of Autumn)

(Autumn jumps and runs from the interview)


  1. HalloweeNut;
    Just takes the right woman.

  2. Happy birthday you little devil! You are a brave woman my friend. I bet even Dale was hiding during the interview. Like HalloweeNut said, you manage to get Michael to talk. What does his voice sound like? I am thinking deep and rather cold. His dark empty eyes are so creepy. Definitely a killers eyes. Glad you are safe and see you soon to check out the new place.

  3. Julie;
    Michael actually has a childish sing-song voice--very unsettling. Reminds me of the kid in "The Shining" "red room, red room"

  4. Michael is usually so distant. It's nice to see him opening up a little.

  5. Pangs;
    I think I remind him of his sister, Laurie.

  6. Great interview, when I saw Michael's face I thought for sure the interview would be done entirely in mime. Glad you started with Myer's, he's my favorite of them all.

  7. It would take a stone face not to crumple at Mike's (as Austin) catchphrases and irrepressible sexual desperation.

  8. Yeah, expect next week's to be Norman Bates!

  9. Are you planning to do Tippi Hedren interview ?

  10. Echo;
    I do actually have a female killer on my list... Carrie

  11. A mime interview would be swell. Mimes! Get 'em!

    AF: So, Michael, thanks for agreeing to the interview. How are you?

    MM: ...

    AF: Ah, OK then. Boxers or briefs?

    MM: ...

    AF: Nothing! You devil! How are you doing relationship wise anyway? Your line of work must make it challenging.

    MM: ...

    AF: Your dedication is admirable, but if this is going to work, I'll need a little more from you.

    MM: ...

    AF: What are you holding behind your back???

    MM: ...

    AF: ...uh oh...

  12. Pangs;
    Yeah, that'd be easy to type up, too.