Away from a bit of horror and ghost hunting here, but probably not a bad subject to tackle, as I suppose nearly every one reading this has tackled this issue—the dreaded food triggers. I was reading a brilliant friend’s blog and something she was talking about triggered a realization for me.
There was a time when I was obsessed with sweets, especially hot chocolate chip cookies. Something in my life changed where almost overnight, the need for the cookie left me and was replaced with what it had masked. Anger and hurt. So, I turned to exercise and ate a lean diet, working the gremlins from my system, reclaiming my body and my rights to be angry and not stuff it down.
A funny thing happened. One day, I had to make a batch of my famous cookies for a get together. I smelled them cooking, but did not have a moment of anticipation. I saw them hot and settling on a cutting board and not even a twinge of need. I picked one up, broke it in half and popped a bit into my mouth. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t good. It was just a freaking cookie. All that it once meant was gone from it.
You know when you fall out of love, following much hurt and many arguments, you can look at that person and not feel any longing anymore or anticipation? I looked at the cookies cooling on the counter and felt that. I saw them and no longer saw my bliss, but saw all the pain and hurt they masked.
I had fallen out of love with the cookie.