Monday, July 5, 2010

Dale the Doll: Q&A

It has come to my attention that the human has had Q&A sessions with her followers and I would also like to extend the same offer. I am open to any and all questions a human might wish to direct to a ventriloquist doll of some life experience. These questions may be technical, personal, or professional. I will comment to your questions in the comment section below, but I have no blasted way to remove the human's photograph from the personal profile photograph, so bear with it and imagine it is my handsome self and not that homely human in the photo...


  1. I haven't tried it Dale; but, I think you need to create your own account. Then talk Autumn into adding you as a Team Member.

    Have you heard this one?

    A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he’s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

    “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person… because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general…and all in the name of humor!”

    The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells,

    “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little bastard on your knee!”

  2. Barry;
    Part of my agreement not to bother her while she sleeps, I am indentured to the human. She lets me occasionally do posts, so that's something, at least and she is telling me all her secrets and everything that goes through her mind that she worries about. I should get therapy pay! The things this doll could tell! I love the joke! That was ridiculously hilarious, except I would insert "humans" for "blonde women"

  3. Perhaps you wouldn't be so rambunctious if you had the company of your own female doll. Maybe you need to hint to your human and see if she will do that for you. You can watch the horror flicks so romantic.

  4. Miss Julie;
    There is one of her dolls, I kinda think is cute, but I don't know if the human'll let us hang out together. I might try it tonight when she's whining about her personal life.

  5. how does plastic get a woody? :O lol

  6. LaughingWolf;
    For some reason, blogger is being a bitch and not showing all the comments. You asked how plastic gets a woody--well, let me tell you, it ain't wood (har har, snort!) I'm packing some serious plastic!

  7. Do it, Dale! But don't forget to wear your pencil sharpener!!!

  8. How does it feel to have your every movement controlled by a human?

  9. For some reason, blogger is hosing up people's comments and not posting them...the bastards! I never trust humans or computers. That said, Dan--I do sport a pencil sharpener and Gabriel I could say the same thing of you--what's it like to have a human control your every movement (haha-snort!)

  10. Hey Dale - good luck in the relationship department!!!!!!!!:-)

    Do you like scaring the living bejeebus out of people?

    I hope you and sister Autumnforest are doing great - all the best to you!!!!!!!!!!!
    I picked zombie bite - yuuuck!!!!!

  11. hot! :P lol

    hey... blooger [my spelling] has fup duck all comments on my page as well GRRRRR

    i can see comments in my email but am unable to allow postings

    google adds shit THEY think are neat, but nobody wants but THEM... then things go haywire for everyone!!

  12. Dan;
    Despite popular belief, mine is not made of wood, but I suppose plastic might work in a pencil sharpener--I'd be packing some pocket Viagra of my own! Good idea, buddy. Of course, mine's bigger than a pencil (clears throat) It's more like a fatty crayon.

    I could say the same of you, what's it like to have a human controlling your every motion? hahaha

  13. Looks like Dale's bite might be the worst. Check out those chompers. Dale - When you have teeth problems, do you have to go to an exterminator?

  14. Monkey Man;
    Just remember this, my bite is painful... (evil laughter)