Netflix Instant Queue: "Animals"

I’ve been waiting FOREVER for this to come out. I know, I know, it’s not a big-time movie, kind of went under the radar, released elsewhere before making it to DVD, but I saw a trailer of it and it sold me on a couple of things; werewolves and sex, oh, and Naveen Andrews from “Lost.” (wink) Ironically, I was much more enamored of the good guy lead compared to Naveen, as he was like the “guy next door” who is very exciting when he lets loose his animal side (yummy!).

My expectations going into seeing it were that it would probably not have a great script, maybe a scrappy plot-line, and cheesy effects like a SyFy movie, but if it served up werewolf and raw sex scenes that balanced out the tense werewolf aspects, it would be ideal. There’s something almost orgasmic about a man turning to beast—the screaming, the arching of the back, the head thrown back, and the animal sounds emitting from the throat. I think they are a marriage made in movie heaven. Unfortunately, moviemakers haven’t always caught onto the parallels. Man in his instinct to mate is following the animal side of his nature. But, what if man were to give over to all his animal nature and become a werewolf?

What I can say after seeing the movie was that for sex, it was probably one of the finest movies I’ve ever seen and I’ll readily (blushing) admit that I like movies with good sex in them. This one was not only beautifully photographed, but captured the beast mating feel to the movements, and some very inventive kama sutra type poses that made it seem like other worldly sex. It's pretty obvious that the director, Douglas Aarniokoski, could seriously make “Red Shoe Diaries” seem like “Princess Diaries” in comparison when it comes to raw sex portrayal. I would love to see more movies that focus on sex done by him. He really understands the urges to mate and the eye of an artist for how to capture the emotion and the need like a fine exotic dance.

Yes, scripting was lousy, scenes were short and jerky which could have worked had it been cohesive, but it wasn’t. I could have overlooked all of that for the sex and the werewolves had the werewolves been organic. I wanted to see man turn to beast with the same exquisite intensity of the sex scenes, but it was horrid cheesy CGI effects that made SyFy look like Pixar quality. Positively the worst ever!!!

That being said, I still recommend it. I'm going to actually add it to my collection, purely for the parts of the movie it excelled at (wink). It’s certainly not an awful movie and thankfully the godawful CGI werewolves are only a tiny part of the end of the story and can all be overlooked for the portrayal of mating for life and sexual habits of werewolves.

Come on, admit it, weren’t you just a bit wondering about their sex habits?