Dale the Doll: Stalking the Human

(Another post written by my ventriloquist doll, Dale, who likes to sneak around at night and use my laptop. I must find out how the little booger is managing to log onto my account!)

The human has taken tormenting me to a new level. Her new pleasure is my personal torture; the very worst kind that can ever be visited upon a doll; exercise and music! She likes to put on rock music and dance, sweating, bumping and grinding, and singing just off key to music that gives me a splitting plastic migraine! It is useless to try to teach her how to be more doll-like and remain still. No, she is nothing but a whirlwind of constant activity! I am dizzy and cannot get a moment’s rest. She reminds me of my embarrassing inbred cousins, marionette dolls! (The unevolved branch of the family, don't you know?)

So, I am now out to torment her. When she is fast asleep, I slip into her room and lean over her and use a doll’s abilities to mesmerize in hopes of giving her nightmares. I took this picture above just last night as I leaned over her. Imagine if she woke up and saw that! But, it didn’t even wake her up. I whispered into her ear about vampires chasing her and, horror of horrors, she actually had a smile on her face and seemed to be, well, having a pleasant dream!

Humans are such animals! There is nothing of the synthetic about them, drat it!

I will not give up on my quest to stalk the human and find her weakness so that I might place upon her a fraction of the torment she places upon me. In fact, this morning as I write on her laptop, I have perused her writings for her blog, hoping to perhaps find something I can delete or mess with and cause her distress. She might even take a day off of her frenetic running about to try and fix it. But, alas, I had to open a post in some series called LAUGH and it made me crack a smile. It will take all of the rest of the damn day to make this expression go away.

Tormented again and she is not even awake to do it!

Drat the human!


  1. Hah hah! More doll-like! Oh brother! LOL! Hey, Sha', hey. Imagine, an apparently stationary object, absorbing everything that transpires around it. Yeah, man, my great-uncle, the Vaudevillian era Bud Lorraine, known far & wide as The Cowboy Ventriloquist, had a dummy I think I've shared with you about. Tommy, carved by the same dummy-maker as the Golden Age of Radio era & hence lousy ventriloquist, Edgar Bergen's Charlie McCarthy (hey, his lips moved), they're identical twins, save that Mr McCarthy sported a monocle, top hat, and an opera-goer's dapper evening attire, whereas Tommy wore a cowboy hat, had shoulder length hair (actually supplied by my French-Canadian great-grandmother, Elisabeth Moquin), and wore a cowboy's get-up replete with chaps.

    Damn, but when I was all of four years old & met Tommy for the 1st time? I was terrified, even when they (my parents) stored him in the attic, I thought that he'd come down from out of his suit case up there at night to terrify me in my sleep. That was then, though, this is now, and I've got over it.

    Remember, one of the all-time scariest & earliest & British, by the way, depictions of a malefic ventriloquist dummy, along with four other horror-themed vignettes, is the brilliantly conceived Dead Of Night, which I only have an over-exposed VHS copy of, but I think that we've discussed in the past. It's a real humdinger & well worth the effort to sit through and is one of the best mind-fucks in WW II era cinema ever made.

    Happy dummy-free weekend everyone,
    Anadæ Quenyan Effro Von Thüringen

  2. Bror;
    I am determined to find that film and when I want something, it usually finds its way to me. I've found tougher films before online. I would have wet myself at 4 years of age seeing a doll like that. Oh man! I'm determined to make Dale more human-like while he's working in the opposite direction to turn me more doll like. It would take catemine probably because I am not a sedate person. I think I'm going to win!

  3. I can't wait for you to put him on some spooky graves and take pictures. I don't think the little beast will like that, lol.

  4. Julie;
    You're totally right. I'm hoping some really abandoned settings and bleak cemeteries--he should look very scary. If the schoolhouse still has its swingset, that might be kind of creepy too, huh? It's my revenge. Don't worry, he can't undo zippers, so he'll stay in my overnight case. We might find him a good piece of bait for the schoolhouse room we're staying in...maybe some kid might like him... (another way to torture him--make ghost kids play with him!)


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