Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Remakes: Big Mistakes?

There’s a shit-load of remakes coming out. (Yes, I think that word was appropriate). I like to say, of late, that Hollywood is the dog that eats its own poop. A huge chunk of upcoming horror movies are remakes. I don't mind too much if the movie is older and if they can maintain the essence of the mood and spirit with which the original was made. I just don't want to see the sort of thing that produced the remake of "Halloween" by Rob Zombie who has the self-editing abilities of someone with Tourett's.

Here's a sampling of what's coming in the future:

“Creature From the Black Lagoon”
It’s in pre-production. Now, I looked up the guy making the film and he’s done a couple other films, but nothing anyone would recognize. I’m finding this rather dubious. I’ve always wanted this to be remade. I just don’t want it to be a boatload of models in the Amazon going for a bikini shoot and getting caught on some river debris and forced to be eaten one screaming body after another. My conclusion: A remake should be made of this—but by some real experienced moviemakers. I’d love to see a JJ Abrams version, myself. I can’t help it, I’ve waited so long, I will probably see this one.

“A Nightmare on Elm Street” Coming out April 30th. Yeah, someone’s remaking this. WTF? Insiders say Freddy is less funny and more serious in this one. Still, you can’t be a classic from the 80s. The original was so freaking scary because most of us saw it when we were young enough to be scared to sleep at night after seeing it. And the role of Freddy was such a classic—you can’t recast that. My conclusion: Nope. It just won’t have the effect the original did, no matter how hard one tries to capture the terror. I have no plans at all to see this—even on DVD.

“An American Werewolf in London” This is in development stages, but really the one that came out in the 80s was a classic and it also was technologically ahead of its time. I loved the mechanical and real raw way they made the wolf transformation and the people who played the characters were so endearing. I just don’t think I’m too into this, even though I adore werewolf movies. My conclusion: Move on to another werewolf story. This was a classic in the time vault—don’t tamper with it. Nope, not gonna see it!

“And Soon the Darkness” This is a classic 1970s flick with Kim Darby being tormented by tiny little gnome-like creatures that mean her harm within her home. I loved the original, but it wasn’t very scary. The concept was scary, but the execution was too lame for me. This is already in post-production. My conclusion: A remake is a good idea, but they better amp up the terror and not make it seem like a bunch of Lilliputians are attacking. I do plan to see this one.

“Children of the Corn” Yeah, well, why don’t we remake “Gone With the Wind?” Bad idea! It’s a classic and it’s also in a time capsule in which it should not be released. It just doesn’t work in the new millennium. It is just in the development stages. My conclusion: Should not be remade and I will not be seeing it—even on DVD.

“Fright Night” This 80s classic had me panting after the vampire, Chris Sarandon. Damn! I don’t want to see it with anyone else in that role. It was a campy classic. I’m curious, however, how they cast it. I enjoyed it so much and don’t feel the concept is a bad one, nor do I think it had to be done in the 80s. It’s just in development still, but I’m waiting. My conclusion: Worthy of a remake if it is well cast. I will be seeing it, no doubt.

“I Spit on Your Grave”
A must see for most women. A wonderful rape revenge flick that is graphic and very powerful. The original was really perfect for the time in which it was filmed in the 70s. I think that if anyone tried to redo it now, it’ll just end up being an awful graphic and uncomfortable film. Part of what was so compelling about the original was that women were just coming into their own power and independence. It was compelling because this woman got the ideal revenge against the men who gang raped her. This is now in post production. My conclusion: Not worth remaking, it was a classic. I will not see it.

“Let Me In”
This is remake of my favorite vampire movie, “Let the Right One In” except this version has been done in English. I am not pleased by this concept. I understand bringing it to the American market for those who don’t read subtitles, but those who don’t read subtitles don’t need a really smart-thinking movie like this. My conclusion: Not a movie that should be remade. I doubt I will watch this unless people who have seen the original recommend it.

Oh, wait! The torture isn't over yet, these movies are also slated to be remade: "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," “It,” “Near Dark,” “Night of the Demons,” “Pet Cemetery,” “Poltergeist,” “Rosemary’s Baby,” “Scanners,” “Suspiria.” “The Birds,” “The Blob,” “The Brood,” “The Fly,” “The Gate,” “The Host,” “The Howling,” ”The Orphanage,” “Toxic Avenger.”

And that’s only some of them!



  1. I am as cautious as you about re-making LET THE RIGHT ONE IN but I read an interview with the author of the original novel and he felt that the remake was in good hands and having read the script he felt the director would bring something different to the story. However, he also said that the Swedish version would always be the definitive version. I remain wary.

    AND SOON THE DARKNESS is not a remake of a Kim Darby film but rather of a minor but rather good English film directed by Robert Fuest in 1970 about the disappearance of a girl on a biking holiday in France - changed, I think, to South America in the remake.

  2. Just goes to show what Hollywood is lacking in actual talent, since they can't even seem to come up with original scripts anymore.

  3. Hey Weaverman;
    Thanks for the input. That's strange, but Upcoming Horror Movies lists this for "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" Pre-Production


    Troy Nixey

    A young girl moves into a home with her father and his new girlfriend, where she discovers strange little nocturnal creatures that live beneath the stairs.

    I'm sure they mean well making an English version of "Let the Right One In," but the true charm was the casting and the location. I don't know that I could take to any variation in that, but I'll let others who saw the original tell me if they liked the remake, otherwise if it isn't up to snuff, it'll taint the original for me.

    Deep Thinker;
    I am really weary of all the remakes. Something really old like "Creature from the Black Lagoon" is interesting as a remake, but it's just way too soon for a lot of these films and most of them are locked in time so that part of their charm comes from the decade they were made in and how innovative they were at that time. Can you imagine remaking "Sixth Sense?" We all know the twist ending. Definitely not a re-makeable movie. I agree with you--Hollywood is lacking talent and originality.

  4. Can we come up with new ideas? I have a few! What movie producers should I call? Does anyone have their phone numbers? I guess you can google anyone now! lol but in a sad way!

  5. Are they remaking both films ? IMDb lists the 2010 AND SOON THE DARKNESS as a remake of the 1970 english film. I remember the Kim Darby film well.

  6. Hey Becca;
    I have a fantastic horror/SciFi that I think could be a box office blockbuster, if I can figure out how to write scripting (I'm learning as I do my LAUGH series) It has to do with machines that talk to the dead and how it changes the world. I wish I had connections. We'd finally be making the right kinds of films.

    Yeah, I remember back when they did The Changeling with Angelina Jolie and everyone thought they were remaking the horror movie--I was kind of hoping they would. It's one of my fav's, but I'd love to see it with a younger man in the role maybe. I have heard the buzz about it appears as if it's an English remake which should make it awesome if they let Hammer do it.

  7. I would say.....most of the time, they are a big mistake. There is that one or two that are better than the originals.

  8. Yeah, I agree Julie. Good gosh--look at "The Haunting"?? Yikes!

  9. I think Hollywood has just run out of ideas.... On a side not there was a wonderful Toxic Avenger musical last time I was in New York. It's not a remake, but it certainly was funny.

  10. Jessica;
    Yeah, it's pathetic. If they let those of us creepy folks in blog-world come up with their ideas, they'd make a fortune.

  11. {“And Soon the Darkness” This is a classic 1970s flick with Kim Darby being tormented by tiny little gnome-like creatures}

    I tend to disagree here... I'd LOVE to see this one again.

    Memory can be so faulty when it comes to old movies. We were different people back in the 70's and back then (for me) this was an exceptional story... one of the few that has really stayed with me.

    But then again... I made my kids watch "Easy Rider" because it was such a profound film... the only time I have ever seen an entire theater leave in stunned silence.

    Watching it in the 90's was just plain painfully embarrasing. I had not realized how dramatically we as a people had lost our innocence. I'm not sure there is anything as a "social statement" that could bring a crowd to it's knees today.

    Well, short of 9/11.

  12. I can certainly empathise with the embarassment of seeing EASY RIDER again after many years. I also cringed through Roger Corman's THE TRIP. Recently I rewatched Elia Kazan's VIVA ZAPATA which I greatly admired and which is generally considered an important film. Seeing it now it seemed shallow and obvious and totally uninvolving. I can accept it was an important film but it certainly highlights how much my attitude has changed. I'm no longer the young idealist who first felt the anger of that film.

  13. @eloh and Weaverman;
    Jeez, I remember being scared by the flying monkeys in "Wizard of Oz" and the movie "The Haunting" made it impossible to sleep, probably because the haunting was very much like the one in the house I grew up in, so it affected me more. It doesn't seem like films have a lot of impression nowadays, but I find some really do. I can see "Under the Tuscan Sun" and want to change my life completely. I can watch "Philadelphia" and be brought to tears. I think a lot of people felt that way about that Sandra Bullock movie with adopting the teen and making him into a football player. I'm seriously hoping that "Don't be Afraid of the Dark" can manage to be more chilling than the original.

  14. Those monkeys still give me the creeps...

  15. wow, is hollywood really that desperate for ideas? some of these movies aren't even that old. And the trackrecord w/ american remakes is not very good, in fact, I really can't think of one that i enjoyed at least as much as the original - except maybe that one with Keifer Sutherland and Sandra Bullock (her first movie) where she gets kidnapped by the weirdo and he buries her alive. And, The Ring was a pretty good remake...but the rest, I probably wouldn't waste my money on, at least not until I can rent them for cheap.