Tuesday, February 2, 2010

What would you do in a horror movie?

Come on, admit it. Every time you see a horror movie, you rattle of what you would do in any given scene. “Don’t take a shower now!” You whine. “Are you freakin crazy? Don’t look under the bed!” You warn the characters. “I would have taken the path with the debris, it’d slow down the bad guy.” You confide to your watching partner.

Admittedly, if the characters were doing those things—the story would end, so writers depend upon characters who have no clue what to do. But, in our world, we can’t help thinking what we do if we were in that situation for real and how we would survive.

For the fun of it, I took note of some scenes in recently watched movies to see what I would have chosen.

“Joy Ride.” The scene when the trucker called them in the hotel their first night with the girl riding along with them. They jump up and run out of a full hotel and get in the car and take off onto the highway--the trucker's killing ground. Me? I would have just locked the door and called the front desk and warn them and then the cops.

“Halloween.” When Jamie curls up on the floor with a knitting needle??? Huh? This is a house with a fully decked out kitchen with knives, right? And, for that matter, why didn’t she leave with the kids???

“The Fog” When the DJ is in the lighthouse screaming over the radio that someone has to save her son and then begs her son to forgive her for not being with him. She has a radio station—record a message that everyone should stay out of the fog and let it play in a loop and get in your car and save your son. Apparently, the town’s well being meant more to her.

Okay, now it’s your turn to give me a movie and a time when you went—“No! No! Do it this way….”


  1. FUN post! You hit on something that a lot of researchers now know about horror movies and those who like them: it gives us a way to riddle out problems. (I even wrote a paper in college about why horror movies are actually good for us.) Well, now they're finding out to safely be able to raise your blood pressure like when you're watching a horror movie and imagine what you'd do given the situation helps your physical and mental health. So...again, you prove how instinctively you already know these things!

    Okay, but as far as what I'd do in what movies? (Loved all the ones you picked, btw. Joyride's one of my faves!)

    DAWN OF THE DEAD (2004 version): If I made it to that mall, I'd never leave. I'd ration my food/supplies and wait out those zombies hoping they'd eventually starve or at least get too weak so I could outrun them and take them out easy. Actually, this applies to any zombie situation: I'd hole up somewhere. People move around too much in those movies! Stay put, you morons!

    THEM/STRANGERS/VACANCY: These are all kind of similar premises. Unseen strangers (but who you know are real people) menacing innocent people. I'd match crazy with crazy. They're going to mess with me? They're going to meet crazy! (Like I'd come out firing guns in the air and making a lot of noise in THEM and STRANGERS. I'd meet them on open ground and show I'm not afraid...except to be honest, I hate masks and those masks they wore in Strangers...forget it. I'd pee my pants and be a goner. Who am I kidding?)

    The only one I can't figure out what I'd do (because how do you stay awake all the time and what if you can't get a doctor to prescribe you meds so you don't dream?) is NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET.

  2. Oh, and I watched the newest Friday the 13th. That movie never even should've been made. And Paranormal Activity? Obvious why they went with the ending they did...had sequel written all over it! I'd have stuck with the alternate ending. (Besides, if she dies they could have had the entity then terrorize someone else if they were desperate for a sequel!) That wasn't your question, but I felt compelled to add this anyway...

  3. Why do they always run upstairs instead of out the front door when someone is chasing them in the house? I would definately try to get out and away from them...
    I'm not sure what to do about a creepy killer tiki doll like in Trilogy of Terror or as Courtney pointed out Freddie in Nightmare on Elm Street. Let's just hope I never have to find out, lol.

  4. Courtney;
    You crack me up! Yeah, zombie movies are the perfect example. I have my zombie scenario worked out but it wouldn't involve a mall--probably because everyone else has seen Dawn of the Dead and guess where they'll be, plus too many doors to deal with. I'm going high rise--block the stairwell--own all the apartments and their contents up above. I like your crazy idea. I heard a guy talk on a show one time about how to freak out bad guys. One of his suggestions was you act like you're dotty in the mind and say, "Oh, how is your mother? I saw her just the other day and I meant to come by and visit her again. She's such a sweet woman." I do crazy pretty good. It's my usual state of mind--hee hee

    Man, I so agree with you--remember "Scream" when she runs up the stairs? What the??? I think they did that in a few episodes--Sarah Michelle Geller did it in Scream 2 also in the sororiety house. I think when it comes to the tiki doll, I'd open a window, set myself up in front of it and hopefully dodge him and let him jump out.

  5. lol You know your horror movies well(no surprise there!). I do not remember specific scenes but i hate it whenever they run deeper inside the house(where of course have no way to call for help- phone dead, battery down...).
    Do not go up the stairs!Is there a helicopter waiting for you on the roof? Why are you getting into the bathtub? You wanna wet the killer?
    Ps. as always i totally agree with your comment on my post.

  6. Georgina;
    So glad you agree-part of the fun of horror movies is how stupid people are and how smart we are. I'm glad you liked the advice. I feel like I know you pretty well and I think that's the answer you knew you would find.

  7. OH what a fun post. I talk to the TV alllll the time. But on this side...I heard a noise outside of the bedroom door, didn't wake DH, got up...nothing to hit what/whoever it was and went looking to see what made the sound. Thankfully I didn't find anything. In the past...I just pulled the covers over my head...

  8. Hurray for you! Yeah, be a debunker. Check it out before you decide it's otherworldly.

  9. I don't know right off. Probably because I'd always be the one that didn't make it past the first five minutes of the movie.

    Something goes thump in the basement...I'm the first one to go see what "the heck was that"!

  10. @eloh; You gotta admit it--the characters who face it down survive--looke at Friday the 13th and the chick who hacks off Mrs. Voorhes's head!

  11. Im not sure if The Stepfather is considered a horror flick- but it was pretty awesome. I liked the new one better than the first- http://bit.ly/dicg8I