Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My Past Life?

People sometimes ask me what I think of the concept of reincarnation. I hadn’t made an observation on it until about 12 years ago when I began to have a series of nightly dreams about a young woman that it felt as though I had once been.

The first dream opened with the world through my eyes. It was a village in Europe. The roads were cobblestoned and sloping. The shops were attached to one another. In the opening of the dream, I am leaving the village for my home that faces a low-lying street of shops. I come in the side door which feels as if the house is attached to others or else it is small.

Someone is visiting with food. Their appearance reminds me that I’m sad. Someone asks me if I can go do something with them, but I tell them, “I’m sitting shiva.” I’m lucid enough in my dream to want to know what I look like, so I go to a mirror, but it’s covered up. I go to another and it’s covered too. The cloth over the mirrors reminds me, my mother has died.

I hear murmuring voices in the other room. I’m desperate to know what I look like. I step outside of my body and look at myself and I’m about 17 or 18 years old with long straight dirty blonde hair and big brown eyes. Rather slender, rather sullen, rather plain.

I wake up feeling exhausted from the dream.

The next evening, the dream started again. Only, this time I’m outside of my home and neighbors are giving me hugs and crying. I look over and see my father’s motorcycle. It’s some kind of 1930s looking very basic bike. I look up at him. He has my dirty blonde straight hair, kind of long over his ears and dark eyes. He is very tall and kind of reminds me of, well, Gerard Depardieu the French actor. I know that we are in a rush. In fact, the things inside our home are still there. Our neighbors are taking things out that we’re letting them have. We have to rush. We’re leaving at sunset. I feel as if we’re being pursued or feel threatened.

At some point as I’m saying goodbye to my girl friends, I look over onto the cobblestoned street and hear the sound of cars and feel a cold dread in my stomach. I realize it’s the Nazis. I also know that my father and I plan to escape to England.

(In the photo above, I found a motorcycle that was very similar to the one in my dream and it was a German-made one and for some reason I think this might have been Germany or France, although I get the sense that in my neighborhood we are the only Jews and the language feels more of a Latin-based language. I did look up pictures of villages with cobblestones in Germany and France and the buildings looked more French with none of the wood crosshatching you see in Germany, so I am going to assume it was France).

I wake up from this dream, once again feel as if I’ve traveled all night. I’m exhausted and I’m haunted by this girl. I don’t remember ever picking up a dream a second night where it left off the night before. Everything is so familiar. The sounds and smells, the people, the language. I feel as if it’s memories. My own memories somehow.

The next night, I go to sleep and time has jumped. I think it’s perhaps 3-5 years in the future from before. It’s the 1940s. Somehow my father and I separated, got lost, didn’t find each other. He’s somewhere in England and I have moved on to America.

I work as an interpreter for American Troops in Europe. The odd thing is the context of it. For some reason, it seems this woman is also expected by the government to provide “relief” for this traveling important contingent of male officers, perhaps 4 or 5 of them that she interprets for. This seems like it’s common practice and the young woman is desperate to find her father and so accepts whatever job she must to try and find him in a bombed out England. They are using each other for their own ends.

I never found out what happened to that young woman. I wanted to and tried to continue the dreams, but they ended. It makes me wonder if it was during a peak of geomagnetic activity. I have since awakened from dreams speaking a language I don’t know very fluently. I wake myself because of the sound of this language flowing from my mouth so naturally. I always think it’s French. It doesn’t sound German to me at all, so I wonder if perhaps the village was in France near Germany.

I later asked a woman I knew who was Jewish what sitting shiva was. I didn’t know the term and was surprised to hear it was a grieving period when one passes away in the Jewish culture. They also covered their mirrors and people visited bringing foods over. It startled me to learn something I hadn’t known. Surely I had to have been this woman in a past life, right?

I truly don’t think so. As a psychic, when I read other people’s lives, I see it through their eyes and it feels exactly like my own memories of places I’d been and things I’d done. To a non-psychic having this dream, it would seem like reincarnation. To a person who has experienced reading others, it is nothing more than a reading of a life that had been. The fact that in the dream I was surprised to see fabric over the mirrors wouldn’t jive with being a Jewish girl who surely knew the customs. Little things like that gave it away.

No, I don’t think I lived this past life, but I do think for some reason that is still very distant from being discovered yet, I accessed someone else’s life for a time as I do when I read a person. This doesn’t mean it was my life. It simply means I saw it through her eyes. To a layperson who came across this occurrence, it would really feel as if they were remembering a past life. It's the subtle things that will give it away, the details that your conscious mind can't explain but that the mind of the person who lived that life should have known.


  1. What a beautiful experience. I have never been lucky enough to have that happen, although I do think I am "sensitive" to many things. Perhaps if you meditate on her, she will come back to you?

  2. I have to admit, over the years, I wake up speaking fluent (what sounds like) French. The sound of it wakes me up but I'm still speaking it as I sit up in bed. I have no idea what tied me to this woman and if she existed. I suppose the best way to trace her would be to find out about civilian interpreters for our troops in Europe. I did spend some time sifting through villages in countries around Germany and seemed to feel the French villages had the feel of the place the woman was from. It would be fun to get more visuals of her life.

  3. Very neat. Maybe it's one of those DNA memories handed down from an ancestor. (I think there's a word for it, but of course it's escaping me as I go to leave you a comment!) I am pretty sure I've lived before. (If not, my DNA thing rages from time to time and has since I was small.) Wayne thought I was KOOKOO about that until we moved to Nashville. He has a STRONG reaction every time we go to Civil War sites. He's convinced he lived and died then. (And he DOES NOT believe in reincarnation...or didn't.) Anyway, it makes GREAT fodder for my book I'm writing about past lives and past life regression. This was a FUN post because I love reading about this stuff!

  4. Hey Courtney;
    Yeah, it's a weird thing. My family; however, is completely accounted for in that time period--only from Norway/Sweden and America (Scotland), so not DNA, but I must have come in contact somehow with something that tied to that woman. It's the strangest thing. Whatever it was, after a few days it was gone. I figure it was able to manifest because of the geomagnetic activity. It is an intriguing subject. My favorite reincarnation movie was "Reincarnation of Peter Proud," that had me enchanted for years, but I also remember a cool scary one called "Audrey Rose." Very creepy! I can't wait to read your book! Hurry! Hurry!

  5. I had an experience like this when I was around the age of 8. I dreamed I was riding my bike on the street in front of my house and there was a tall, beautiful woman with wavy brunette hair. She was playing with me and my friends...but I felt connected with her heavily; it was very strange. I remember that dream to this day b/c I had never seen that woman before...ever, but she seemed so familiar. I guess the subconcience is capable of making up characters? I dunno.
    I read people too...not their lives, but I have a good grip on knowing if they are good or bad. I'm pretty sure I know when I'm being lied to most of the time...and I have an uncanny sense of knowing good and bad situations. After talking with a person for a short time, I can usually "size them up". A complete stranger can look at me and I get an automatic impression of their moods or what they are thinking. Not sure what that is called...nor have I ever really talked about it b/c psychic ability in the christian crowd is taboo....they call it discernment, but I'm not sure if discernment really covers everything I can do. Oh, I also knew what my husband's name would be and knew he'd have blonde hair. Does any of this connect or is there a name for any of this? You seem like a person who doesn't mind talking about this sort of thing. I'd be interested to hear what you think. :)

  6. Hey Kim;
    Sounds like your empathic. They can usually tie into people's truth and lies and mental status and emotions. It totally understand the Christian issue. I have some very backwater Baptist relatives "Fundamentalists" and they think it's courting the devil. Whatever. The fact is, I don't think their closemindedness makes them possessed by a demon, although it sure seems like it. People have different talents. Some jump high, some run fast, some add numbers quickly. Depending a lot of times on your place in the family, you may become more intuitive. We find it a lot in youngest children and only children. It's a talent you develop because you feel a responsibility for everyone's happiness in the family. Some people are good at this by simple signs, people's voice tones, where their eyes move when they speak to you, their posture, their word selection. It's not so much a psychic ability, but simply good observation techniques. Some people can probe a bit further and pick up images from the other person and intimate details. To me, psychic abilities are basically just an extension of the senses. You can see a blind person navigate around a room and sense that someone is yelling a block away when no one else hears it. They overuse their senses to make up for the missing one. Some could say that's psychic, it's really just focus. Psychic is really just focus. It's not hocus pocus, it's not some devil talking in your ear, it's a person using their abliities to the full extent. When people tell me my talent is god-given, I don't think so. It's not paranormal. It's really quite natural and it's just that I had a life that made it possible for me to focus on that sense more than most people do. We all have it, we just don't exercise the muscle unless we need to. A lot of situations in my life made me have to develop that muscle. You can call me a sensory weightlifter. hee hee. I hope that helps you to understand your abilities are nothing more than a person who is very sensitively attuned to others. It's a beautiful gift to develop. Now, as for that woman in your dream. My guess would be a never met grandmother or relative. Start looking at the family's old photo albums.

  7. Does make a good story where ever it came from.

    I have had a dream repeatedly from childhood...just pieces. I am laying in the bottom of a canoe as if I am hiding, the canoe is going with the current as I watch the close trees over head. I am afraid of being found.

    I also have an intense fear of water, which showed as early as three months old. When on the water, I would cry, when off, I was happy.

    The first time I saw an ocean wave on tv, it literally took my breath away.

    I have often thought it may be a past life memory.

  8. Gail; I always say the contents of the dream are just "actors" to help showcase how you feel about yourself at the time. I would suspect the hiding in the canoe feeling arrives when you're feeling caught in the middle of something threatening. The fact that you have the presence of mind to stay in hiding in the canoe probably says you're not ready to confront whatever it is, but you're alert enough to stay out of danger so you are in survival mode. Should you have the dream and become hysterical, it would say you're really not coping with the threat in your life at the time. If you figure out how to paddle to shore, you're probably feeling very in control of your part of handling the thing you can't control. Oh, I love dreams. How I react to what happens in them tells me what I think of myself at the time on the deepest level.

  9. very cool post. i've never had a continuing dream like that nor anything that could be related to reincarnation. that would be cool.
    i'm fascinated by stories of young children knowing information of a past era, info that they obviously have no reason to know.
    could reincarnation be real?

  10. Personally, I don't think it's real, but I do think we can access information from the world in many ways and many forms. We are bound together and even through the times. Sometimes, I wonder if perhaps things like reports of dinosaurs and Bigfoot are us just glimpsing a kind of residual from the past...

  11. WOW, what a wonderful dream and so vivid and real. I have dreams of being someone else but can't remember them as clearly, especially the sketchy details.

  12. My husband and I have always felt, from day one, that we have been together several times before. I never had a dream about him, we just knew when we met. Might we be twin souls who find each other in each lifetime? I met a psychic (she took a wirework class form me) and I asked her about this. She told me that indeed we had been together many times before. My husband and I have a sort of telepathic connection...I can concentrate on him calling me and he will, or concentrate on something that he needs to bring home from the store and he will. It's really cool.

  13. Remembering a dream is a hard thing to do. I have to admit that unless I wake up near REM sleep, I have trouble recalling them well. The reincarnation ones, however, I woke up during the night and had trouble going back to sleep. The first time, I got up and went to my bathroom to see myself in the mirror. Yeah, it was that weird. I learned lucid dreaming so in most cases, I know to remind myself it's a dream or take note of things. I don't know how to explain it except when you watch a movie and you tell yourself "it's just a movie" so you don't get caught up in the plot as if it's really happening. I can dream like that. I don't get caught up in how weird it is, I just say to myself "I don't like this story, change it" and then I do. It takes some training, but it's nice. I used to feel like I was held hostage by nightmares I had from childhood until young adulthood. I finally got a grip on it and it changed everything. If you get a morning where you sleep in without an alarm, you might wake up during one of the morning dreams and you'll probably remember that. I found with the alarm clock, it's harder to remember dreams. Darn!

  14. Gypsy Moon;
    I totally believe it. I think we are drawn to a connection with someone in a way people call "chemistry." It's really just like two souls recognizing something very elemental and similar. It's like a perfect harmonic with our soul. Some people fear it and run which is why a lot of girls go for bad guys instead of the good boys. The brave gals, find their complement and grab it up before someone else discovers it.

  15. A very interesting analysis of the dream. I've read a lot of convincing evidence for reincarnation before, but I've never been convinced it was real. It's not that I didn't think it could be possible, but it just didn't seem to ring true. I wondered if maybe it was a soul trying to form a close bond with a living person, or if maybe it was just an opportunity to for someone to "put on someone else's shoes," so to speak. You saying that the dreams were similar to how you read other peoples lives makes sense to me. I think that might be a good explanation for what many, if not all, 'past life' memories are. Great post!

    Oh...and have you ever tried to figure out who she was? Do you remember enough about her to try and see if you can find any records of her existence? Since it was only back in the 1940s and she was just a teenager, it's possible that she may still be alive.

  16. Jeff;
    I have to admit, other than looking for a village that looked familiar and finding out what sitting shiva meant, I hadn't really pursued it. I'd be curious if we did use civilian translators in Europe. I wish I could have gotten her name or her village's name. I have to admit, while looking for a 1930s motorcycle for the post, I found myself sifting through pictures disregarding the Russian and Italian ones and focusing on the German ones. I really think it was a German bike. If I saw the village again, I'd recognize it, but only from the perspective of her house. I would love to link with that life again.

    I am a skeptic at heart, so I did have to study the dream carefully to realize that a Jewish girl should have known why the mirrors were covered. I think that was the giveaway for me. I seemed to know the contents of her life, but not the context. I can feel what it was like to be in her body and see things through her eyes and the connections she felt with others, especially her father who was very close to her. That's what reminded me of doing readings. I really know what it's like to see through that person's eyes including if they tend to be emotional or paranoid or goofy. I felt the same way looking through her eyes. Now, a person who didn't know they had psychic abilities would think they truly were that person. That's how it feels when you do a read.

  17. So yes! I'm back from a tiresome and abhorrent trip and have been catching up on your posts as soon as I could regained some post-travel stamina. Firstly, I'm so glad you posted this. I actually had a similar experience though it was no where near as profound as yours (sadly).

    Now I somewhat subscribe to the idea of reincarnation but that's not exactly something I'd ever share with anyone I know in person due to the intense criticism and condemnation I know I'd receive since it's not the "in" mainstream belief. Nonetheless my experience happened before this and at a time where I was really questioning my beliefs (or lack thereof).

    I remember thinking about reincarnation before I went to bed since it was really eating at me and that night I had a dream. In my dream I remember myself standing in a study with cherry wood trim, a fireplace, and desk, and a bright window. It was a comfortable enough place but I didn't feel intimately familiar with it.

    Anyways in this dream I remember asking who I was in the life before this even though I don't remember anyone else in the room that I could have been talking to. My attention was immediately drawn to the mantle above the fireplace where there were various items like a brass clock and framed pictures. One photo caught my eye and it was of a group of American soldiers dressed in tan camo sitting and standing around a tan colored tank. They were all obviously friends, smiling and posing like guys around big artillery usually do. My attention then drew to another picture, a close up face photo of one of the men in the tank pic. There was something about his face that seemed intensely familiar, like looking into a mirror, only his face wasn't mine in the "present" time but I knew it (in my dream at least). He was tanned from being in the desert, with brown-red hair, brown eyes and a sly grin. I had the feeling this was in the middle east somewhere and possibly a two or three years before the time of the Gulf War. I'm not that old (early 20's) so the time frame matched. I'm also not a history buff and after this I looked up photos of from that time frame and area and the uniforms, tank, and equipment matched perfectly.

    Unfortunately I wasn't able to get a name for this guy (at least one I can remember) so I don't have anything to go on to verify crap.

    So was this kind of like a regressive memory or just a really good example of the power of suggestion? I'd really love to hear your take on this! Thanks for reading my book, er, post!

  18. Hey Grim;
    It sounds like a pretty genuine psychic hookup to me. In the dream state it's really possible to see and do things you never knew you could do because the conscious mind has a way of telling you what your limits are and being highly distracted by bright shiny objects and sounds like a pet dog! Yeah, the dream state makes it possible to see more. Now, the interesting thing is you describe seeing the photo, but you don't recall being in his body or having his experience. This is another example of what I found when I discovered the discrepancy in my own past life dream--I didn't know why the mirrors were covered, but I was Jewish. So, my guess from what you're saying is you asked yourself to reach a big deeper and when you did, you got a glimpse of a place that probably exists, a home with those things on the mantle. I don't know if you do art, but trying to do a sketch of this guy might help. Even if it's just a stick drawing. Be sure to add any details you recall from exactly what was on the mantle--sketch it out--write in the margins. Remember any emotions you had, any names that come to mind, any smells, any other people in the room, your inner emotions...Get it all out. Then, I'd suggest you let your subconscious help you find it. Find sites for Gulf War vets. You might find photos and things that help you recall more info. Heck, you could even run into the picture. I've found that usually when you make a connection like that, you can find evidence. It's almost like a sign to help you find what's right in front of you. Keep me posted. That's really interesting!

  19. Damn, and I was hoping I was a soldier! Hahaha!

    But anyways, you're right. I will try and do as you suggested and try to search sites and additional photos as well, maybe do a sketch or two but the details are vague as this dream was well over a month ago.

    There was another thing I didn't mention (the comment was already way too long!) but I figure it worth the mention. For years I've been plagued with anxiety and it's mostly over sharp, sudden sounds and flashes like gunfire and lighting and thunder. I've had multiple instances where I would be sleeping in the middle of the night only to find my half-conscious self hitting the floor for cover at a bright flash of lighting or sudden crack of thunder, or once even a city truck with its bright orange hazards lights flashing. The first image that flashes in my still half-groggy brain is "bomb"! Now why the heck "bomb" I have no idea. Now these aren't conscious things. I usually find myself hitting the ground and it's THAT that wakes me up. Another one of these episodes happened when I attended a fallen officer's memorial service. When taps started to play it was ended with a formal gun salute. At the sound of the shots I thought I was going to die. I have no idea why but it took everything for me to maintain my composure and not duck for cover. I'm now entering the field of police work so guns aren't exactly something I'm unfamiliar with. It was just weird!

  20. Grim;
    It explains much when you tell me the context in which you're experiencing these things. It might be entirely possible that you've identified by some psychic means with another person who was more than like a soldier and could have been military police. Your entry into the field and the dream seems to say you've found a mentor. A sort of psychic tagalong. This could actually be someone who is still alive and more than likely is. If that's the case, the link you have might be able to be accessed again. I would start thinking in terms of how you might have opened the link. Did you acquire any guns from backgrounds you don't know? Any artifacts? Is there anyone in your training who is older and perhaps was in the Gulf War? I'd be looking back about a month or so ago when you had the dream to see what might have happened around that time that linked you. So far as getting used to the anxiety around flashes of light and loud sounds, that's also a very human reaction. When I was 4 years old I almost shot my brother in the face with a loaded gun. If he hadn't coaxed me to set down the gun that I thought was a toy, I would have killed him. I never got over the fear and hatred of guns. My husband tried to get me over it because I went ballistic when he started target shooting and wanted to buy a hand gun. He took me to a shooting range, went over safety over and over and over again and had me shoot the gun. The sounds and smells made me totally freak out, but I reminded myself these are only sounds--don't put meaning to them. It's like when you have a bad pain, you can say it's unbearable and painful or you can say "I feel warmth and sensation in my foot" and suddenly it doesn't seem so bad if you don't call it pain. If you get repeatedly exposed to loud sounds and flashes of gunfire, you can reframe it in your mind to be just sounds and not associate them with bombs. Just remind yourself "this should make loud sounds. That's what it's supposed to do." If you see it as something bad and unnatural, then it becomes nerve-wracking, but if you think of it as perfectly natural and the way it's supposed to be, like fireworks are bright and the sun is hot and skunks are stinking, gunfire and thunder should be loud. In other words, the world is working the way it's supposed to. I hope that makes sense. Certainly, if you find any links to how you had the dream, I'd be very curious. If you've ever seen the movie "Reincarnation of Peter Proud" you might feel a real bond with that movie. It had a man chasing the images he saw in his dreams and finding them...

  21. I hadn't obtained anything at the time that could've lead to a connection that I can think of but a lot of my instructors are war vets (mostly Vietnam) but I never really ask as most don't like to talk about it. And I'll check out the movie. It sounds interesting. Thanks!

  22. Hey Grim;
    If your reaction to the sounds and lights is something you've always had, that could be a trained phobia you have to re-train yourself out of, but it's possible if that correlates with the dream, that you could have made a connection. Usually, over times those die off unless you have a daily exposure to the person or their objects. Keep me posted.

  23. I just had a weird experience like this, but very odd and different. I'm sensitive to spirits, and so I'm surrounded by them on a daily basis; I'm just not able to see or hear them like most people think mediums can. I'm also a big history buff, and I have a lot of friends who've connected with Richard III's spirit. We all thought it may've been because we knew him in a past life, and he wants to find us again to talk to. But I was in the car after talking about the Wars of the Roses, and I had a vision about 1485. I saw the woman, and King Richard III, but I knew through the dream that she was me right now. I knew the castle, I knew the room, and I knew the king. I then went into an odd state of panic and began to realize things: I had been with the king before his marriage, that I had died before that day, and that in the moment of the vision, I was dead and he still thought about and interacted with me. I went to some of my friends who also studied Richard III's life for some answers, and one of my friends gave me a name: Katherine Haute. She had been his mistress before his marriage to Queen Anne, and had died before 1485. I had an odd feeling with the name: it didn't give me a spark like other names, like I had been called it over and over again. Katherine ended up having children with the king and she had a brother. I've always felt like I needed a brother, like being the only child I was born as was very empty and strange. This whole scenario exhausted me, and so I had to rest for a bit to recharge. But I have a weird feeling that this wasn't an outside spirit, this is the reason I've been visited by Richard III's ghost so much in the past.