Friday, February 24, 2012
Sex and the Single Ghost Hunter: It's Raining Men!
Single life is surprisingly a LOT like Bridget Jones. I used to watch that movie when I was married and envy her, even the moments of focusing on her weight and eating ice cream, getting drunk, and making a fool of herself. Whether she made it or not was totally up to her. Love? It could be just around the corner! And, so could heartache.
I thought when I became single that it would be raining men. I would hang out a shingle saying "this gal is single," and they would hover at my front door. So, maybe not so much.
I learned a lot along the way about where NOT to meet men.
Bars. Anyone who is having some drinks and relaxing with his buddies, looks across the place and sees me, has a few counts against him. One count is that he chose me purely for my looks. That means his cock is making his decisions in women. The other count against him is the odds. What are the odds that in a bar of 80 women, 50 of whom are single, 22 who are of the right age range, that he found the love of his life out of 22 possible women in one location in a few hours' time?
Singles Sites. I know some people will quote eHarmony and Match.com's records, but honestly these people are strangers coming with no pedigree, no frame of reference, no person that can vouch for them. They come from all over town, all lines of work, all marital and non-marital situations, all bad habits and deal breaker conditions, and it's like spitting in the dark and hoping to hit a target.
Online. As many amazing men as I have met online, they are all over the country and world and there comes a time when one must decide whether to pursue a real-life meeting. Even, after knowing each other for months, sometimes years, meeting in person is a whole new dimension that can ruin everything. Chemistry isn't always guaranteed and then life situations--who is the one who has to move?
I like to see being single as a romantic comedy and not a tragedy. If the hero and heroine are supposed to get together, they will in the end.
In the mean time, lots of insecurity, angst, loneliness, joy, hope and, awkwardness. Yeah, it may not be raining men, but isn't it easier to notice the one promising raindrop that hits your face on a hot day than the floods and torrents hitting you all at once? Sometimes, it's that one sweet promise of what might be that's better than having everything at once.