Monday, November 21, 2011

You Might Be a Bigfoot Hunter If...


(This is just a little fun, taking after Jeff Foxworthy's redneck routine)

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
Your wife's fragrance purchases are from the department store and yours are from "Ape Pheromone Labs, Ltd."

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
Your car's roadside emergency kit contains a map of the state park, a 10-pound bag of plaster of paris, and nightvision goggles.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
Cryptomundo is your only news outlet.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
Your iPod music collection was complete when you found a Torrent of the Samurai call.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
You buy a perfectly good ax and then remove the hatchet to turn it into a wood knocker.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
You invite your friends over to watch home movies and you begin it with the Patterson-Gimlin footage of "Patty."

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
You attend football games so you have a legitimate reason to practice Bigfoot calls.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
Dr. Melba Ketchum is the only female you've actually been excited to hear speak.

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
The only thing you keep in your DVR is every episode of "Finding Bigfoot" season 1 and all the Jack Links commercials.

and...

You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
You have absolutely no trouble delineating a mid-tarsal break in a Bigfoot casting, but still have no clue where the G-spot is on your female.


(**Do not miss tomorrow--2 posts showing how to get an entire custom gift for a man or woman for $30 and under including the "wrap" and quizzes to match the right item to your woman or man**)

10 comments:

  1. classic bigfoot hunter questionnaire... sort of.

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  2. Hum, some of them apply to me.....

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  3. hmmm... You just might give him a run for his money if you did stand up. :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
    You think of candy bars as Bigfoot bait.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You might be a Bigfoot hunter if...
    Your other name for Bigfoot is 'squatch.

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  6. Good stuff AF. I love your sense of humour.
    citizentruth

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  7. Thanks CT--that means a lot. You are very discerning.

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  8. You guys forgot this picture of us... LOL

    http://i250.photobucket.com/albums/gg273/GhostBreakers/Bigfootlgjpg.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  9. You might be a Bigfoot Hunter if you turn into an asshole on the internet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It has produced an endless line of trolls, hasn't it? I suspect almost all those trolls aren't real BF hunters, but arm chair losers.

      Delete

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