Zak Screams. Zak Preens. Zak Writes???


Zak eats (at least, that's almost all he ever tweets about).
Zak works out (Duh).
Zak uses way too fucking much hair gel (He has a beautiful hairdo...for a lesbian).

Hey, guess what? Zak wrote a book. It's coming out soon.

I guess at this point, I should design a drinking game for the reading of the book. Let's take a drink for every time he takes credit for things and says "me," and "I." Okay, I don't want y'all dying of liquor poisoning. Let's just do a drink for every time he tells you with absolute certainly he's dealt with demons, possession and tormenters who touched his person.

Not planning to give him any cash for it. Toilet paper comes cheaper. At least he's expanding the empire away from pimping out horrible graphic tees and giving supposedly haunted places lots of street cred so they can charge hunters to go there. Here's the book description:

It's easy to say ghosts exist or don't exist. Anyone can do that. Trying to figure out the why or what is a different story. Paranormal investigator Zak Bagans, host of the popular Travel Channel series Ghost Adventures, pulls from his years of experience with paranormal activities and unexplained phenomena to provide an evenhanded look at a divisive subject. In Dark World , regardless of whether you believe in the afterlife or not, Zak does his best to find and share answers to the phenomena that people encounter. He wants you to experience a haunting through his eyes: to feel what it's like to be scared, freaked out, pushed, cold, sluggish, whispered-at and touched by an ethereal being or attacked by a demonic spirit. But beyond simply experiencing these events, Zak is looking for the reasons behind them, searching for answers to the unanswered questions. Addressing all the major issues and theories of the field in an impartial way, Dark World is a must read for paranormal enthusiasts, those who don't believe and anyone who's ever wondered about things that go bump in the night.

Zak, baby, as "The Soup" would say--do not get cancelled! We need you! Travel Channel--give this guy endless seasons.I'm so digging this wild ride that is Zak! The only thing that could possible be better is if Travel Channel decided on a special, sending Zak and Charlie Sheen to taunt those pesky trolls in Finland!

(My brilliant son made this video below--bless his heart)

Comments

  1. Wahoo, sounds like a page turner to me!

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  2. Or a really good supply of paper airplanes waiting to be made...

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  3. sounds like it will be good for everyday use.

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  4. The problem is, the book won't have that whiny pleading, semi-shouting tone that Zak gets. You know the sound, like a third grade Shakespearean actor.

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  5. That's not hair gel. That's too much time with the nipple clamps on. Your hair just kind of stays like that when you've had too much electricity pumping through you...

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  6. I blogged about his book too lol. A books and a new show Zak is busy.

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  7. Oh yes. I expect him to expand his empire. He already does these little ghost hunts around the country with groups of people in his off time. You can pay good money to hunt with Zak. I think I'd rather pay good money to hunt for Zak with a highpowered paintball gun-I'd put an end to those dorky shirts.

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  8. Haha, I will donate money for a "Hunt Down Zak" party.

    Your son's video freaked me out before I got the connection.

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  9. Haha. I love that video. My son totally gets Zak. I wonder if Zak would squeal like a girl if I hit him with some paint balls? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he'd be screaming, "not the hair! Not the hair!"

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  10. I would also pay for that, too.

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  11. Love this post and love this blog! Awesome work!

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  12. Angela;
    I'm thrilled you found my blog--I suspect you are just the person I'm writing it for.

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  13. haha I love the show more for its comedic slant than the whole ghost hunting....he seems like a cool guy but it would probably be annoying working with him

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  14. I've heard from several people that he is a really pain in the ass to deal with and a real bossy bit of goods, but the smartest thing he ever did was realize that people were laughing at him and joined the bandwagon. At first, he seemed to think he was a real serious legitimate ghost hunter and I felt kind of sorry for him, like maybe kids kicked sand in his face as a boy and so he pumped up his muscles and his attitude but still was only comfortable yelling at helpless ghosts instead of human beings. But, he seems to get what his selling point is and is willing to sell out. Hurray for him! That is the reality TV way!

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