Saturday, September 17, 2011
September 17th. Virgo Baby. Fifth of 7 children (twins were stillborn before me). Dead at birth, brought back around 4 minutes. Mom waited until dad went to his first day on his new job before calling a taxi to pick her up. She started pushing me out as the cab drove over the Potomac.
Yeah, I was born with a double earlobe on the left. A psychic medium once told me it meant I was psychic. Well, whattaya know?
I was a tomboy who also worshipped Cher for being daring enough to run around in almost no clothing and be tall and flat-chested in a world of buxom short ladies. I loved dressups as much as I liked beating boys in spitting contests. I wanted to be a Charlie's Angel, and I also wanted to be a freestyle rollerskater and a fashion model.
Some day, I promised myself I'd be in the Miss USA pageant (official pageant photo above). I was in Miss Arizona USA, but I won't tell you the date I did it. I wanted to model. I modeled. I wanted to live in California. I lived in California. I wanted to be a writer. I'm a writer. I come by the red hair honestly--I'm tenacious as hell when I have a goal in mind.
Yeah, in high school I twirled a mean short flat. Loved baton twirling, dancing on skates, trick skateboarding, springboard diving, gymnastics, tennis, basketball, dance, you name it! I couldn't sit still. I never could care less what others were doing. I competed with myself and still do. People are apples and oranges, no comparison. What others want, is not what I want. I look to myself for the next cue as to what and how much to achieve.
A helluva lot of times in my life, I got the message I'm not supposed to be here. I was born dead and mom wasn't supposed to have any more kids. She had cancer and the surgery she thought would make the pregnancy very high risk. I had a million close-calls as a kid. I got sucked under a waterfall on my 15th birthday and was about to suck in water when my brother saw my hand above the water and pulled me out. I had cancer at 17. I don't know what it is about me, but I seem to carry a strange torch inside me to be optimistic, to never give up hope, and always plunge forward. I really like the ride of life more than the end product. I'm not into acquiring, having, status, and all that stuff. I simply want to know that I left the earth a bit better for being here, affected change in others by mirroring how awesome and precious they are. I live to be excited about every day, every new adventure, every insane plot and plan. I live for experiences and connections.
So, another year under my belt and more wisdom than any one person should possess. I've handled huge dramas and horrible losses and I wouldn't take back one person--good or bad, one experience--good or bad, one failure or loss. I am humbled by the experience and always working to understand how I cut through space and time and blaze a trail, changing the world forever just for existing, against the odds at my birth when the doctor and nurses worked hard to revive me, not realizing they were changing the world too.
at 3:30 AM