The Human decided to let me have some space here on her blog. (Oh, aren't I the lucky fellow?) She said I could write about my take on ghosts and I have to admit that from time to time, The Human manages to have a good idea. I'm certain she was just reading my plastic head with her psychic creepiness.
I also want to tell you that I intend to do a series of interviews with The Human's abandoned doll collection. I will act as an interpreter and tell you their stories. These will be dark and creepy and you better not be a bunch of pussies when you read these interviews. This will be a Thursday posting to give you something to look forward to while you big babies are waiting for "Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files" to start its second season.
What is a ghost?
I think it's kind of like doll spirits. You haven't heard of doll spirits? Didn't you see that freaking cool episode of “Destination Truth” on that doll island in Mexico? Damn! I want to retire and live there with all those gorgeous dollies. They're pretty lonely for a male doll, I'm thinking...
Anyhow, dolls have spirits. When a doll is put to rest (the destruction by human hands), he continues to haunt his owner. In fact, you can all consider yourselves followed by every Betsy Wetsy and GI Joe that you ever owned, every Teddy Bear, every Elmo and certainly every Cabbage Patch Doll.
Humans talk about the spirits of the dead attaching to objects, well objects can attach to humans too. So, be careful how you treat your Barbie doll and your Marionette and for God's sake, your ventriloquist doll!
When I come back to haunt my Human, I plan to do all the things I do now to annoy her, except she'll blame it on a ghost and I won't be relegated to the top of a shelf next to that pissy clown doll, Skittles.
What's even creepier about your doll's spirit? It's tied to the human because he projected his feelings and intimate secrets to the doll. The doll then takes on the human's spirit as well as its own. It's kind of like passing our your DNA and characteristics to your kid. So, if there was something familiar about your doll, it was a reflection of your own spirit mirrored back.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it!