Saturday, December 26, 2009

My Coach

Well, my friends, I'm exhausted and kind of sad. I helped move my son out to an apartment with his girlfriend about a mile away--not far at all, but definitely feeling the empty nest. It will be a very hard adjustment. It's like missing a limb. He has the same interests, same sense of humor, finished my sentences. I'm so thrilled for him to be making this exciting step in his life, but my routine and habits and priorities will be undergoing change. I expect to transform through the process with new hobbies, activities, and goals.

I watch him starting his adult life with everything open to him and the future a big question mark. I'm not sure when life turns into a period instead of a question mark, but I do hope to use his example and no longer limit myself about what I can do and how I can be. He has been my very best mentor. In fact, my nickname for him is "Coach." He taught me everything I know about how to be a loving person who puts someone else before herself. I've never been the same.

So, you will all have to be the focus of my motherly tendencies, fussing and fretting, concerned and bothersome. Perhaps if you survive the process, you too can be called "Coach." Thank you for your wonderful support.


  1. I've been through the empty nest syndrome so I know what you are feeling. When both my sons moved out, the house seemed so empty, but just as I got used to it, my eldest moved back home. LOL!!!! It's thrilling when we see our young ones taking those first steps to independence.

  2. Mary;
    Yeah, I would think with two kids, it would be even harder because there's all that noisiness of children instead of child. Well, I guess it means I have no excuse not to focus on myself and my own future instead of his. I'm curious to see what I'll be when I grow up (smile)

  3. This will be exciting for both of you! You will be going through so many changes. Let it be a wonderful learning experience! :-)

  4. Panademona;
    Yeah, it was equally unsettling having a baby in the first place, so I suspect it will take time to get used to not having one.

  5. oh, it makes me sad when i think about this. i have two boys, one 12 and one 8, so it will be a while before they go off on their own. but i know the day will come.
    my eldest is in TN with his dad, they left today and will be gone a week. i already miss him. i hate it when he's not here. even when he goes to sleepovers, our home is not the same.
    my husband left his parents when he was 18 and moved to CA. his parents are in PA. i know that this was very hard on them.
    so it's nice that your son is still close by.

  6. Good Luck to your son, and "coach" (he looks terrific in the picture) in his new life as an independent young man, and to you with your adjustment to the "empty nest"!

  7. Wishing your son all the best with his new life! I can only imagine how this hard this must be for you. Just remember if you get lonely we're just a click away. If you want you can borrow one of my boys! My ten year old is very well behaved when he is not with his brothers. My middle one is sweet. The youngest well he's potty training still so I wouldn't give you that one! :)

  8. I can totally remember when both my children moved out. It was a sad moment but they needed to move on. After having the house to ourselves for a year, my son moved back to regroup his finances. Then two weeks after he moved back out, Katie moved in. She is still here with Kennedy but will be moving out in next year with Kennedy's daddy. We will finally have our house to ourselves again and can't wait, lol. This is a good thing. So what are you going to do with his room, lol. Take care...

  9. Thank ya'all for being so sweet. The mommies seem to really get it. I'm used to having to rechange my life after a "loss" and I know that with time, new patterns emerge and new goals and such. I just hate the period of time where you feel the missing limb syndrome. It's like when our old family dog passed on and every day at 5 o'clock was I poised to fill the food dish. As it turns out, with them being so close to us, they are looking to us in a new way which is exciting. We're more like the wise older couple teaching them the ropes. In fact, I'm going over today on my day off to help assemble their office room in their extra bedroom, then they're coming over tonight for movie night with my friends and I and some Chinese takeout.

    Julie, the room is going to become my much-needed workout room. I've had my equipment filling up the side of the dining room, trying to work out around the dining table on my elliptical and recumbent bike. It's been a weird awkward joke. My son played drums, but can't have them in his apartment (thank you rock star video game!) So, I'm storing the drums in the closet and putting in a bed for a guest room (something we've never had) and the workout equipment, some mirrors so I can see my form as I use weights, and a TV because I love to play movies of people on the beach to inspire me. I suspect I will be melting away weight over this time because I'm less focused on making meals and cookies and cakes and spending more time in my interests and hobbies. In fact, today I'm doing a new painting!

  10. Oh boy. I know you had said this was coming and you were bracing for it. I hope now that about a week has gone by the worst of the adjustment/pain is over. But here's to you and all that you'll do as you move forward now. It'll be fun to see where you put your "mom energies" next! And one thing you can be sure of, it sounds like you've done an EXCELLENT job raising him. All kids should be so lucky to have a mom like you. He sounds like a great son. No matter what, THAT is quite the Life Reward right there!



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