I was casually wondering about the calories in Halloween candy and then, since I'm strictly dieting, I wondered how is the best way to work it off. Then, I thought about how chocolate is the love medicine for women. So, how much sex would it take to burn off those fun-sized bars???
(Fun sized bars):
Snickers (80 calories) 15 minutes of foreplay followed by *10 minutes of intercourse
Milky Way (75 calories) 15 minutes of kissing followed by *7 minutes of intercourse
Baby Ruth (85 calories) 15 minutes of kissing followed by *5 minutes of foreplay followed by *10 minutes of intercourse
Tootsie Pop (60 calories) *10 minutes of intercourse
Reese’s cup (44 calories) *7 minutes of intercourse OR 20 minutes of foreplay
M&M fun size little bag (99 calories) *15 minutes of intercourse or 45 minutes of foreplay
1 roll Smarties (25 calories) 15 minutes of kissing
*You can half your intercourse time if you use the doggy style position because it burns twice as many calories (wink).
Now, considering the amount of candy one typically finishes off while waiting for the little boogers to knock at the door, it seems Halloween should be accompanied by bottles of Viagra and a crate of KY jelly on the Halloween display stand in the stores.
Warning: Enjoy in moderation (the candy, not the sex!)