Sex and Candy by Marcy's Playground
I was casually wondering about the calories in Halloween candy and then, since I'm strictly dieting, I wondered how is the best way to work it off. Then, I thought about how chocolate is the love medicine for women. So, how much sex would it take to burn off those fun-sized bars???
(Fun sized bars):
Snickers (80 calories) 15 minutes of foreplay followed by *10 minutes of intercourse
Milky Way (75 calories) 15 minutes of kissing followed by *7 minutes of intercourse
Baby Ruth (85 calories) 15 minutes of kissing followed by *5 minutes of foreplay followed by *10 minutes of intercourse
Tootsie Pop (60 calories) *10 minutes of intercourse
Reese’s cup (44 calories) *7 minutes of intercourse OR 20 minutes of foreplay
M&M fun sized bag (99 calories) *15 minutes of intercourse or 45 minutes of foreplay
1 roll Smarties (25 calories) 15 minutes of kissing
*You can half your intercourse time if you use the doggy style position because it burns twice as many calories (wink).
Now, considering the amount of candy one typically finishes off while waiting for the little boogers to knock at the door, it seems Halloween should be accompanied by bottles of Viagra and a crate of KY jelly on the Halloween display stand in the stores.
Warning: Enjoy in moderation (the candy, not the sex!)
this post is hot, thank you for the calorie count... it's like a service announcement for candy lovers... throw a d at the end of service and a and between candy lovers and this just got a little dirt'r.
ReplyDeleteWoof!
ReplyDeleteShould we eat the candy before, during, or after the sex?
ReplyDeleteThe candies should really be used as a reward system. You'd be amazed what a gal will do for a Hot Tamale or man might do for a piece of Reese's.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THIS.
ReplyDeleteAnd now we know why they call them 'fun size...'
ReplyDeleteI just ate a handful of candy corn. Look out Gary....
ReplyDelete