Monday, April 30, 2012

My Mother's Douche Bag



Yeah, this post is sounding kinda creepy, huh? Not really. It’s about weird things we use for ghost hunting tools. Even creepier? Keep reading...

When I was a kid we would open the family bathroom medicine cabinet and there it was…unavoidably out of place amongst the bottles of mercurochrome and salves. Mom’s 1950s era douche bag, propped up, flopping a bit like a calf’s bladder, drew attention. I remember as a kid pondering it. The images in my mind were intriguing. Was it used for unplugging the sink? Perhaps to clean out ear wax? No one spoke of it. We pretended it…wasn’t there.

One time as a little kid who inhabited the tiny end bedroom, the truly disturbing room with the ice cold closet year-round and something that sounded like it was breathing raspy within, I decided it was time to do something about this ghost. I pondered what to do for someone who was having trouble breathing. I understood how they felt, nearly everyone around me smoked.

Then, one brilliant day while in the bathroom reaching for the St. Joseph’s aspirin, I saw it. I picked it up this time and examined the line and the bag. It reminded me of those Ambu masks on TV medical shows that helped aid breathing.

So, I brought it with me to my room and left it in the closet for the night just to see if the poor ghost might be able to resuscitate his poor breathing. I forgot the douche bag was in there. I never used the closet because it was cold and felt so nasty. I kept my clothing sprawled on the radiator.

But, I was in the bathroom one day and realized the douche bag wasn’t there. Oops!

I put it back in the medicine cabinet and lived with the rattling breather in the closet for another year until I could switch bedrooms.

Since that time, I have incorporated some strange items into ghost hunting, using a belly dancing scarf and windchimes as early warning devices to make noise. I’ve used a tap light for communication and powder for signs of a presence.

You know my last few ghost hunts were not too productive. Perhaps we need to pull out the old school tools. Can't you just see J&G holding up a Summer's Eve container and doing a little commercial and then proceeding to set it down on a chair and carry on a conversation with it like a KII meter... Hell, ratings may go up!


3 comments:

  1. I've always wondered what the hell a real douche bag looked like. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha I remember my gma had one hanging in her bathroom all the time on the back of her door. It was floral print and everything. hahhaha.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You just never know what might attract the ghosts.

    ReplyDelete

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