Thursday, September 29, 2011

Blogger Virtual Zombie Walk Event!

Welcome to our annual Blogger Virtual Zombie Walk. This event makes it possible for you to have a day of reading zombie-related posts nonstop. Just click your way down the list of links at the bottom of each post and go from blog to blog for a huge variety of zombie-related fun including giveaways, art, short stories, reviews, short films and other surprises! This is our way of telling bloggers that October is coming tomorrow and we are totally stoked!

I want to give a special thanks to all the dozens of participating blogs. They are all wonderful sites and their bloggers are so much fun! They even put up with my messed up ways. I kept too many different lists of all the participants and in the shifting around of information and such, I had to send them tons and tons of emails to update links. We'll have so much fun today--we'll laugh about that Autumnforest being such a ditz!

Next year, Zombies Everywhere is going to host the event. It seemed more appropriate that the site that is devoted to infecting the world with zombies everywhere should manage it! Be sure and follow his site so you'll be aware of it next fall! Here's a little zombie very short film I made in honor of his awesome site....

Here's a little zombie makeup lesson (hee hee)....

If you want to go on a real life zombie walk (Julie and I are doing one on October 28th as our characters from our upcoming zombie book wearing 1950s bowling team outfits), go to this site and click on forums to find ones in your area.

Julie and I are working on a fantastic zombie-lovers book called "Zombie Housewives of the Apocalypse." Her character, Stella, is the perfect 1950s post-apocalyptic zombie housewife and mine is Liz, the boozer, slutty divorcee. Here's a shot of my character, Liz.

Consider getting your photo turned into a zombie here.

Now time for y'all to click on the blogs and go from blog to blog. You will find the same list of links, so you can go down them one at a time.

I want to give a super special thanks to the amazing artist who designed the logo (above). I own some of his art and have it hanging in my home. He does horror like no one else and is a HUGE zombie freak! Check out his blog especially at Izombie

IZombie (artist for the event!)
Above the Norm: Bizarre Arizona
Zombies Everywhere
Holly's Horrorland
Little Gothic Horrors
Anything Horror
Katy Bennett Horror Writer and Poet
Bubba's Place
Horror Smorgasbord
Monkey Man
Words and Music
Red Shoes Chronicles
The Wolf's Eyes
My Day in a Sentence
Pixie's Horror Galore
Strange State
The Misadventures of HalloweeNut
Halloween Blues
Kweeny Todd
The California Blogging Massacre
Horror Shock Lolipop
Vanessa Morgan
Improbable Frontiers
No Really, You Can Eat It
Art By Living Dead Girl Nicole
Two Gory Chicks
A Dust Bunny in the Wind
A Ghoul's Best Friend
Zombies Are Magic
Cherry Neko Saves the World
Tall Tales
At the Mansion of Madness
The Haunted Rose
The Rotting Zombie
Halloween Overkill
Out of the Shadows
Keyhole Gallery
Creepy Glowbugg
Bifocal Univision
Sherry Soule
Anchors and Roses
Paranormal Researchers Group
Whispering Pines History
Lovely Miss Megs
Sean Thomas Fisher's Blogwash
Rise and Fight
Stump Town Horror
LoliClown's Little Blog of Horror
Zombies Can't Love
Books and Beyond
The Grave Bandits
Screaming Goregasms
Lazy Daisy Life
Icky Monster
Pretty in Fiction
Ivy's Closet
Justine's Halloween
Annie Walls
Just Johnny

Blogger Virtual Zombie Walk is Tomorrow!

Get yourself in the mood for tomorrow and zombie-tize a picture of at Make Me Zombie

Tomorrow, we have an enormous event in the blog world for all people who adore all things zombie. There will be movie reviews, poems, short stories, short films, giveaways, all kinds of sweet stuff--all of it ZOMBIE stuff!

I call it the Blogger Virtual Zombie Walk because all you have to do is come onto my blog and see my zombie post and then there will be a list of links. Click on the next blog on the list and "walk" over there to see their posting, then the next on the list and the next. There are over 50 participants this year and their creativity blows my mind away. I've seen some of the stuff beforehand and I'm so honored to be a part of this event!

So, be sure you jump on tomorrow and enjoy yourself. We'll be leaving the posts up all day so if you have to do it in the evening, you can jump on and have fun. Thanks ahead of time for jumping on board this event. You might win some sweet prizes and laugh and cringe and get really creeped out. It's our horror bloggers way of saying "Welcome to the coming October month of merriment!"

I went to a very awesome paranormal meetup meeting last night and a very sharp and genuine Bigfoot hunter was the guest. I have interviewed him and that interview will be coming up. Hey, you know I love my BF fun! I was rather shocked when after the meeting a woman said to me "I love your blog!" She recognized me (I'm somebody!) She was laughing at my drunk ghost story. Yeah, leave it to me to leave that memory on my readers. Well, that made my day to know that in the paranormal world I'm unforgettable, or perhaps just infamous.

**Lonely on a Friday Night is canceled for the foreseeable future. With three books coming out and many ghostly explorations, I just won't be keeping those nights open. I'll let you know when that changes**

Ghost Photos: The Explainables


(above-moth and dust)

(above-fingertip nearby)


(above-dust shaken from a feather duster)

(above-cold breath)

(above-camera strap)

All I can say is, take the time to try your camera out with flash under lots of circumstances so that you begin to recognize what you camera does under certain circumstances. When I hunt, I wear a finger flashlight that is a velcro ring with a little flashlight on it. It's really helpful, but I have to be careful to wear it on my left hand. Why, you ask? Because one night, I had it on the right hand and every time I clicked the camera button, hairs caught in the velcro from me running my hands through my hair, dangled in front of the lens and created amazingly cool "shooting things" in all the shots. I remove camera straps too, just so it's never an issue. Never take pictures while walking and don't take any pictures until everyone has settled in for a while and hasn't been stirring up carpet dust, room dust and clothing/hair dust. Screw it on rainy and snowy nights. And, if it's really cold, you need to take a deep breath, hold it and take your shot. Know what the area looks like in the daytime so that when you go back later to look at the night shots, you'll know what that "blue thingie" in the background of that shot was (a sign that you saw in the daytime). That's my advice and I'm sticking to it.

**Tomorrow is the amazing HUGE Blogger Virtual Zombie Walk event**

Syfy's 31 Days of Halloween!

("Kaw" I actually really liked this one!)

Admittedly, sometimes Syfy confuses us: Are Syfy Original Movies serious or hilarious? Why do they give shows like "Haunted Collector" and "Mary Knows Best" a shot? Perhaps the programming is sometimes off, but when it's on, it's freaking magic!

Examples--the first 3 seasons of "Ghost Hunters," Seasons 2 and onward of "Destination Truth."

They also never forget us at Halloween-time, bless their twisted hearts! Last year most channels were pretty lame-o on the horror stuff. Not Syfy. They remember us every October with nonstop horror movies! Here's just some of the gems this October. In other words, if you keep it on Syfy, you're likely to not miss a good horror movie, a bad horror movie, or an often watched horror movie. You will get your fill, I promise--these are only a FEW they're offering:

"Children of the Corn"
"The Pumpkin Karver"
"My Bloody Valentine"
"Headless Horseman"
"Resident Evil"
"Starship Troopers"
(Ghost Hunters marathon)
"Thirteen Ghosts"
"Saw" (series)
"The Cave"
"Dawn of the Dead"
"The Boogeyman"
"The Messengers"
"Wrong Turn"
"The Hitcher"
"The Hills Have Eyes 2"
"Underworld: Rise of the Lycans"
"The Dunwich Horror"
"Never Cry Wolf"
"Timber Falls"
"Jeepers Creepers 2"
"The Haunting in Connecticut"

Wednesday the 26th--new season of "Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files" (yes, expect my naughty tank top shots when I review the show the next day) This episode is Area 51 and a Cajun apparition (how do you know it's a Cajun apparition? Is it coated in spicy seasoning?)


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Biography Channel: Lots of Paranormal

Cox Cable is just miserable in every single way. They did manage to talk me into digital and it makes zero logical sense. I've had it for months and just found the Biography channel recently. There's over 1000 channels and about 850 of them, I don't get and about 150 of the ones I get suck. Unless I sit there with the tiny card and study it avidly, even with color coding, I have no idea what channels I have until I sit there and go through every fucking channel! Anyway, the way the set it up for us folks with basic tier is that our channels are all over the fucking place. Could they put basic tier as channels 1-150? Nope! They spread them around. Well, when I found Biography, it was a number I remembered!

First, I ran into the show "I Survived...Beyond and Back" which is a mesmerizing storytelling show about people with near-death experiences and the stories are amazing! I cannot stop watching it and it leaves me feeling good and hopeful and intrigued. It is one of my favorite paranormal subjects and I hope to cover it more on the blog since it has a wee bit to do with the part where we actually might become ghosts....

I appreciate the intelligence and quality of their shows. I also found some other paranormal ones that really whet my appetite. This is a channel worth investigating or finding it if your cable company also sucks. Here's just some of them. Check them out online, you can see some episodes to see what you think. I'd love to hear your feedback. I'm a regular on the channel now!

Celebrity ghost stories

Ghostly Encounters

My Ghost Story

Paranormal Zone


Is Bigfoot a Berry Crack Whore?

On a funny note, with the BF hunt coming up, I made the team homemade Bigfoot footprint marshmallows to put in their hot cocoa. I'm officially an UBER DORK!

Tonight, I'm heading over to a talk given by a crypto dude talking about AZ Bigfoot and since in a few days I'm heading on a BF expedition in AZ, I figured--what great timing! Now, I'm contemplating the object of my obsession. Seriously, I think it's bordering on stalking Bigfoot. Perhaps I need a boyfriend! Well, anyways, I thought I'd repost a theory of mine. Enjoy!

Okay, so maybe I spend too much time contemplating weird things. I mentioned this theory to a dear friend in the field of BF hunting and he seemed to be pleased with the notion, so maybe I wasn't too off the mark.

Is Bigfoot a Berry Crack Whore?

It started out with me seeing a show where monkeys were stealing beers from local diners somewhere in the world. Can't recall where, but I'll take a wild stab it might have been India or Indonesia. Anyhow, the monkeys were hooked. I remembered as a kid, my father was in the alcohol recovery business, putting in programs around the world. One time, he mentioned a study done on monkeys that showed that they become hooked on alcohol just like humans, that they even would eat overripe berries that had fermented to get a buzz.

Then, my mind went to the tendency for man and ape to apparently like to get high and I wondered about Bigfoot. He would certainly fall victim to the same desire. If BF is eating a serious shitload of overly ripe berries at the end of season, might he take more risks to get his buzz? Might he wander out where he's seen more often? Might he be seen more often because his inhibitions diminish and his guard isn't up? So, the only thing left of researchers is to see if he is sighted more often during the time of year that local berries are overly ripe on the vine. It might even help them figure out more accurately where he's traveling along the countryside as he follows the ripening berries and narrow the field of possible locations at any given time of the year.

Of course, the notion of Bigfoot puking on his buddies and mooning the crowd in the thick of heavy drinking is entertaining, but I am definitely on the run should he decide he can do Karoke. I must draw the line with BF's rendition of "Every Rose Has its Thorns."

That said, what do y'all think? Theory has merit or not?


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Autopsy: Ghost Hunters Show

I get a huge number of people lamenting to me that they quit watching "Ghost Hunters" about season 3, 4, 5....

Let's dissect the carcass that "Ghost Hunters" has become and figure out the disease process.

The premise of the show went something like this, "a couple of average work-a-day plumbers have a secret life at night, chasing down paranormal phenomena in search of answers. They are so possessed by this mission that they've parked a trailer out front for their team to work in and pissed away the kids' college funds much to their wives' irritation."

Cause of death: Boredom, routine. The show likely would have survived had it changed and adapted, but instead they brought in celebrities for ghost hunts and shifted around their team way too many times. Ultimately, it was the repetition of their hunts that began to take on a very stale feel. We can all predict that any given season the will go to a theater and a museum, a house and an historic site. They will also pair up Jason and Grant, Steve and Tango and the two "newbies." They will try the flashlight test, they will talk to their KII meter, and they will wander around while Steve pontificates about the history of the site and Jason makes vague mentions of how the place feels. The most exciting new change is Maddie the dog, but she can't possibly make up for the total doldrums (even as cute as she is).

What happened to the body systems of this entity we call "Ghost Hunters" show?

Motivation: It's hard to have any show with characters whose motivation is unclear. Jason and Grant seemed possessed enough to do the unpopular thing and spend their free nights in search of answers about the paranormal and yet, by never letting us in on the reason behind the fire in their bellies, we were left with leaders who were weak and dispossessed. The first shows, I appreciated hearing Jason's wife rag on him for the expense and time away from the family. I would like to have had them just set Jason down to tell they story of what he is looking for and why, even if they had to take him back to the scene of the earlier crime that sparked it. Anyone in ghost hunting understands that those seeking answers had something extraordinary happen to them. In this case, you have two plumbers with a lot of kids between them spending their nights wandering dark places in search of ghosts and none of it adds up. They didn't engage us in their personal quest. Huge sin.

Cast: Brian was handled poorly and much to his embarrassment. I think they paraded that whole mess out for the public to real in viewers who want to see the drama more than the hunting. Donna was "let go" without any explanation, just a vague mention of her health issues and she evaporated like she never existed. When members got stale, they sent them off to Europe with GHI. For a team that could pick anyone in the nation to join them, they bring in Kris who seems to have neither experienced the paranormal or had a burning desire to chase it, but they had a pretty new member to make the team seem a bit less misogynist. She has zero personality and whines like a little girl with a flat affect. Steve is mechanical at best and Tango just keeps his trap shut. So, we have a cast that makes none of us connect with them or their desires and motivations whatsoever. It may be "reality" TV but the same principles apply--we must hate someone and we must love someone and then we are rooting for them, wanting to see what happens to them, sharing in their experience.

Too Big For Their Britches: It's a capitalistic society and when two plumbers with lots of kids between them get a TV show, they decide to parlay that to the max while the subject is still hot. Not a bad decision, but growing too big when you haven't any experience in that realm makes you real vulnerable to failure or overextending yourself. The guys got a new shop, new magazine, gave talks and hosted hunts around the US, went on TV interviews, radio interviews, bought an inn in New England. Remember Jon and Kate Plus 8? It started out with a couple of regular folks in the suburbs who were struggling with way too freaking many kids in a tract house. We could relate to their exhaustion and their schedules and space issues. Pretty soon, they were getting plastic surgery, moving to a large sprawling estate, being hosted at fancy vacations and they lost us completely. Jumped the shark. The episode where J&G bought and inn, had the GHI team come in to determine it's haunted (convenient for business when their show is finally canceled) and then sped off on a couple of snow mobiles was the moment I knew it was over and I quit watching. Suddenly all their motivations changed from researching ghost phenomena to turning a profit.

No doubt, Syfy has had no luck with a good paranormal shows lately, so GH might get more seasons yet, but I really don't know where their viewership is coming from because everyone I know quite watching some time ago. It's time for new blood. New approaches. The viewers are just too smart and adaptable to settle for the same old, "give us a sign of your presence" and "turn the light on, please."

And, if they plan to continue this show any longer, please get a woman on the show. No, not a girl-woman with a soft voice, passive manner and zero personality. Amy and Kris are two of the most watered down girl-women ever. Get a real woman who could go toe-to-toe with Jason and question their methods and stir things up! Even so, it'd still just be CPR because this patient doesn't have much of a life expectancy.


Dale the Doll Video: He's Feeling a Wee Bit Hinky


Classic Horror Movies!

Seriously, a chilly rainy day with these playing nonstop, a warm blanket, some hot tea on a fancy tray with cookies--sounds like a dream day off to me!

The dependence on gothic, moody, atmospheric locations and the use of black and white film made these horror movies the ones to cut your teeth on. As children, the stringed instruments, drums and piano all made us tense up in anticipation, but nothing nasty gory every occurred. To this day, I still love running these back to back and here are some of the best of the best for mood and atmosphere....

"Castle of Blood" with the scream queen Barbara Steele, this Edgar Allen Poe story takes on a very moody feel and is totally satisfying:

How about Lon Chaney in "The Wolf Man"?

Vincent Price in "House of Wax"

"The House on Haunted Hill"


Boris Karloff "The Mummy"

Also, look for:
Edgar Allen Poe
Vincent Price
Boris Karloff
Lon Chaney
Christopher Lee
Alfred Hitchcock
Bela Legosi


Monday, September 26, 2011

Dale the Doll: Should Anything Happen To Me....

Should anything happen to me, blame The Human.

The Human put me back in my Halloween fucking-humiliating pajamas again. It's her way of putting me in my place every autumn. This year, I'm not feeling the confidence I did before. The first October, I totally ruled the roost. Last October, she got Skittles the Clown to guard me and it ended up that The Human and I had to team up against the spooky dude. This fall, however, I see a certain stubbornness in her eyes and you know what redheads are like! I can't pull one over on her yet. Oh, a little prank here and there, but she laughs them off! It's like nothing scares her anymore. If she wasn't a human, I'd suspect she was possessed by a doll's heart.

I noticed she's watching horror movies nonstop again (it's that time of year), so I was thinking maybe I could get some good ideas from the movies. Tell me, what movie do you think was particularly scary from a human perspective? "Dead Silence," "Psycho," or "The Haunting"?

Zombie Housewives To Do Zombie Walk!

So, Stella and Liz (Julie and I) are going to do a zombie walk in our characters from our upcoming book "Zombie Housewives of the Apocalypse." It's happening downtown here on October 28th. We will videotape and photograph us and the event. We will be dressing in 1950s bowling outfits with pink shirts with our names and book logo on them, bowling bags and teased hair, leggings, and bowling shoes. We also plan to get some shots of us bowling with severed heads and inside of WalMart because we think we should end up on the people of WalMart site. We will take you along with us and I am excited to be knocking this off my bucket list. I've always wanted to do a zombie walk! Yahoo--I get to do Liz's makeup again! My character is the drunken divorced slut, so I'm not sure if her stiff-legged walk will be a zombie walk, or a drunken stumble....

We're still looking for the right publisher for this project. We could have advertised during the zombie walk if we knew who was publishing it. Fingers crossed we find the right one by then.


How To Make Halloween Props

First, I'll tell you how I did this zombie makeup:

Take Elmer's Glue or liquid fake skin and use a Q-tip and apply it to your face and make some gloppy and thick areas where there will be wounds. Let it dry complete.

Now, take purple eye shadow and use a sponge to pat it around in spots around the face to make mottling. Next, mix black and white face makeup to make gray and sponge that all over the face, patting it on so the purple remains seen through it like splotchiness. Take the purple and work some bruising under the eyes. Peel back some of the flesh so it dangles and then put more gray makeup under it where your naked skin is exposed. When you want to do a wound, use a toothpick to dig a hole into the fake skin and take a black eyeliner pencil and draw a dark area deep inside the wound to give it depth. If you want to add bruising, use purple in the center, green around it and then yellow on the outer edge. Take fake blood and put it in a straw or the cap of the bottle and gently pour some of it into the wound's hole and let it drop naturally. Drip some at the corner of your mouth or other wounds. Consider doing your lips with the same gray as your skin and add a little blue if you like for that cyanotic look.


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Hollywood Quit Witchcraft Persecution!

"Race With the Devil"

"Wicker Man"

"Bay Cove"

Imagine for a moment that Hollywood did a bunch of movies portraying Jews as eating children or raping neighbors. It's not going to happen, is it? Well, why then does it seem okay to pick on Pagans and those who perform witchcraft? There has been such a corruption of the concept of an entire religion that it's staining everyone's viewpoint.

Popular culture, such as Hollywood's portrayal of a religion, can greatly color those who are uneducated about it. Just remember what fundamentalists did to color most people's views of Muslims and Mormons.

Now, let me clear up a few things:

Witches are not like 1970s movies who perform sacrifices and worship the devil--they do not even have a devil in their concept.

The pentacle is not an evil sign, but if inverted (turned upside down) it has been used to represent bad things, just as the cross upside down is used for the same purpose--a corruption of a sacred symbol--now representing the opposite of that loving practice.

Witches believe that what they send out comes back to them many times over--a powerful form of the "golden rule."

They do not rush about looking for people to rape with a horned mask on (rolling my eyes and sighing).

They believe in the forces of nature and that they work to heal and to empower. Every time you take an aspirin or eat your kale, you are reinforcing what they already know--that nature works and if we work with it, our life is more beneficial and rewarding.

At one point, all of our ancestors were Pagan and most of our religions today incorporate many Pagan symbols and practices. Stronger more powerful and wealthy religions turned us away from nature and our synchronicity with it in order to bring us indoors into places of worship we paid for with gold from the worker's pockets to create idols and "market" religion. The majority of pagans practice solitary with nature and no need for a paid for intermediary. They are the purest form of religion with an ancient knowledge we should all pay high respect, just as Christians pay Jews respect for their adherence to the Old Testament.

So, for the sacred time of Samhain and all the compassionate, earth-loving pagans out there, Merry Samhain.

Ultimately, let's just remember the evil by the Nazis, not because of Jews, but because of those who feared their belief system. It was perpetrated on those who were innocent by those who were ignorant. Learn more about Pagans and rid yourself of Hollywood's desire to make money with titillation. After all, they are the same ones who think we need Kardashians 24/7 and women who are size -1.

Hollywood stop screwing with people's views of Paganism and equating it with Devil worship!

Haunted Attractions

Come on, get brave enough! Grab a loved one or some friends and plan a night out at a haunted attraction. They are in every city in the US. Some have amazing themes that seriously promise to freak people out. I personally do not like the saw-mill type attractions with loud sounds and tons of blood and knives. It just doesn't do it for me, but there should be attraction for everyone everywhere. Let's look at just some. And, find ones in your area, here.

Best of list from Haunt World includes:

Bates Motel & Haunted Hayride and Pennhurst Asylum Haunted Attraction in Philadelphia, PA Pennsylvania: The Bates Motel Haunted House & Hayride is a unique haunted attraction for several reasons: The Haunted Hayride is located deep in a 200-year-old forest full of overgrown trees creating the ultimate dark trail even during a full moon. This puts customers on edge even before ever entering the first hayride scene. Combined with a digital custom soundtrack, pyrotechnics and continuous scares throughout the ride, this hayride attraction is sure to create the ultimate haunting experience of your life! To read a more detailed article about this attraction, CLICK HERE. Additionally, The Pennhurst Asylum is one of the scariest haunted attraction sites in the world, mostly due to the setting of this haunt. It’s located in a 100-year-old, abandoned mental institute. The building itself will instill real fear and true horror in anyone. The Asylum has been investigated by professional ghost hunters and featured on Ghost Adventures and Ghost Hunters several times. This attraction is truly haunted. To read a more detailed article about this real haunted house CLICK HERE. Bates Motel and Pennhurst Asylum are owned and operated by the same company and are within a short drive of each other. These have to be number one on our list for locations to get scared this Halloween.

13th Floor Haunted House in Phoenix, AZ Arizona: 13th Floor Phoenix isn’t just a 60,000 square foot onslaught of terror and insanity. It’s a mega haunted house offering one of the most detailed and terrifying haunted houses in America. Featuring 2 attractions that thematically span classical horror to modern day zombie apocalyptic carnage, this haunted house is a must see. You’ll first experience the essence of Halloween in a highly detailed series of haunted mansions, gothic graveyards, and tormented asylums that play out in fantastic wonder in what many have referred to as “one of the most impressive haunted houses in the country.” Inside the second attraction, Zombieland, patrons experience a one of a kind trip through the apocalypse as they navigate their way through a city infected with undead turmoil. The 13th Floor Phoenix features over 100 performers, amazing costumes, and horrifying thematic experiences that rival television and film in the scope and scale of its production. To read a detailed article about this attraction, CLICK HERE.

Nightmare on the Bayou Haunted House in Houston, TX Texas:
Located in the shadow of downtown Houston, TX next to Houston’s oldest graveyard, Nightmare on the Bayou is the name people think of when searching “HAUNTED TEXAS”. Nightmare on the Bayou is entering its 12th year in operation and has grown bigger and better with every year featuring newly designed scenes, Hollywood quality props, professional animatronics and dozens upon dozens of the most well-trained and highly supervised actors…CRAZED actors whose sole purpose is to scare you TO DEATH. Nightmare on the Bayou boasts, “The only haunted house in Houston with REAL ghosts,” and with being right next to the graveyard…I believe them! Ghost sightings are frequent from both customers and employees alike. Additionally, Nightmare On The Bayou is one of the only haunted house in America with a WORLD CLASS Halloween retail store for your ease and convenience. Learn more about Nightmare On The Bayou Haunted House in Houston, TX by visiting their website.


Horror Movie-Themed Jack O' Lanterns

Lon Chaney, "Phantom of the Opera"

"Nightmare on Elm Street"


"The Shining"

"Friday the 13th"

If you were crafty and patient, what movie would you like to carve into a Jack O' Lantern?


Saturday, September 24, 2011

My Best Of Zombie Movies

"Night of the Living Dead" Best storyline/plot for a zombie movie. It was the ultimate--a band of stray people shoring themselves up inside a farm house, unsure what in the hell was happening outside and having their own internal conflicts amongst them. It simply was the best zombie tale.

"Dead Snow" Best most over the top zombie battle ever! It just doesn't get better than minions of nazi zombies that can't be killed and a scene of white snow and men with only a few makeshift weapons. Damn! When you think it's reached its peak--it goes a bit further!

"Dawn of the Dead" (remake) Most threatening zombies. These zombies are fast and serious about their jobs!

"Fido" The most stylish zombie film ever. It does bring together the 1950s attitude with the new zombie reality. It's funny, cute, and I just love it!

"Shaun of the Dead" Best characters in a zombie movie. I just love them all, the mother, the stepdad, the friends, the girlfriend. They're just fun!

Dale Forms a Gang!

Syfy Original Movie--Morlocks!

In Morlocks, premiering Saturday, September 24, at 9PM (ET/PT), a scientist creates a time traveling device that transports people into a desolate future overrun by lethal humanoids, the Morlocks. Unfortunately, the creatures figure out how to transport themselves back into present day, triggering a race against time between human and humanoid. Starring Hewlett and Picardo, Morlocks is a production of UFO Films.

Seriously, if y'all are a bunch of MST 3000 fans and love watching a movie so bad it's good, this sounds wonderful. Syfy seriously pumps out the best of the worst. Let's have some fun tonight!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Lonely on a Friday Night-Join Me Here!

Thanks Cliff from my favorite show, "Finding Bigfoot" for the awesome post on his fantastic BF site. Great guy!

Hey, I'm in tonight and hanging out watching the shows on Travel Channel. Hang with me and drop in and say "hi."

Ghost Adventures New Season!

Zak tells us, it's time for another season!

Disturbed "Down With the Sickness"

First off, there's a new show called "Dead Files" is on after "Ghost Adventures." I'm very intrigued by the premise of this show. A retired detective and a psychic communicator go to a haunted farmhouse in NY separately. Each does their own investigation and then they compare notes. I really like this idea. Hope they can pull it off.

Tonight Zak and the Boyz go to--
Ashmore Estates, Illinois
Built during WWI era, this building housed indigents and those with mental deficiencies. As many as 200 died there. The place is open to the ghost hunting public and is quite the attraction.

The drinking game rules remain the same this season:
1. Stay home.
2. Take a drink for every time they say "bro," "dude," "man" and every time Zak thinks he was touched by a ghost and every time Aaron's mouth drops open in horror.

Tonight's drink? Since it's the first day of autumn, hot apple cider with dark rum and vanilla bourbon. Oh yeah, the good stuff. I make my own vanilla bourbon with opened vanilla beans inside a bottle of bourbon and keep it in the fridge. Every now and then, shake it up. Mine is a year old. Very seasoned. I use it as vanilla extract for baking too. Yummers.

**Tonight is a Lonely on a Friday Night here. Join me if you're lonely, bored, or want to poke fun at Ghost Adventures as you watch it**


Autumn Porn

It's Autumn!

Merry Mabon, Awesome Autumn, Fabulous Fall.

This is my idea of Autumn porn (though I suspect many of my readers thought it was going to be something all together different!)

These beautiful leaves below were photographed by a talented blogger, Bubba.

Candy corn, sweet and dense upon my tongue, making my saliva glands go wild, as I suck on it slowly and savor the reward.

Naked bodies writhing in front of the fireplace, stretched out, heated thoroughly inside and out, flickering golden light against smooth skin and wet lips....

Tang against the tongue, hot mix of cider and rum, creating warmth in the groin and weakness in the legs, dizzy and pleasant, agreeable and aroused....

Hidden amongst the headstones, the only sign of life, two bodies clutching in the chill frosty air, groping beneath sweaters, peeling back blue jeans, finding a twilight titillation before they are caught....

Are you getting aroused yet? Let's try some more hard-core autumn porn....

Snickers, Bit O' Honey, Smarties, Sweet Tarts, Tootsie Roll, Milky Way, 3 Musketeers, Bazooka, Tootsie Pop, Dum-Dum lollipop, Jolly Rancher....

Soft, fuzzy, cuddly, blankets, sweaters, fuzzy socks and slippers, dryer warmed towels, flannel jammies....

Chilly noses, bright red cheeks, icy fingertips, frosty air tinged with woodsmoke....

Crunchy piles of leafs, smell of molding wet leaves and mushrooms on the newly raked ground, blowing, crispy, drifting from the sky to land on your shoulder....

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Obscure and Mainstream Bigfoot Documentaries

"Mysterious Monsters" Narrated by Peter Graves. Mid 1970s. This was released in the theater. I remember. I went to see it. It actually scared me and spawned yet another Bigfoot hunt in the woods around my home.

The film quality is rough, but it's actually very cool for recreations and some BF stories you've never heard before. Sometimes, the older stories get lost for the newer ones with witnesses with fresh memories. We are led to believe Peter Graves is in search of proof that sings to him. He wants to believe in the creature, but he'd like to hear from scientists and even a psychometrist who (if there is no prompting for his read was exceptionally good). Honestly, I love this one! I just love to hear stories I haven't heard over and over again.

"Bigfoot Lives" Tom Biscardi. I know I'll get reamed for even mentioning this one. I think it's worth a watch, but not a buying! Don't let this Barnum and Bailey yahoo profit from it. It is hilarious to watch. Tom is a real tool. Did Matt Moneymaker go to his school of performance in pomposity? Hmm.... The stories are preposterous and the "proof" absolutely ridiculous but still it is a blast to watch him parading a severed hand and severe leg.

"Not Your Typical Bigfoot Movie" This documentary follows two good ol' boys from Ohio who proclaim to have had many encounters with Bigfoot. The story is as much about their lives as and their desire to be special than anything else. So far as its proclamation of getting proof of BF, it's rather flabby, but as a character study, you find yourself getting sucked into these men's world and rooting for them to get the proof that will land them fame.

What is mainstream and good?

I have an extensive collection of BF. Many of the documentaries are lackluster. Some are good standards. If you want something classic to add to your collection, I'd suggest "Sasquatch Odyssey." It has the standard creepy music and format of the 70s ones but more updated and modern.

"Bigfoot: The Definitive Guide" was a fine discussion amongst professionals in a round-table type format, but there wasn't anything really new or exciting on the accounts/evidence side. As a theories gal, I really liked just listening to the different experts support or dispute evidence. It was the kind of discussion I would love to take part in.

Some of the best BF documentary info was done on Monsterquest series and my favorite was "Sasquatch Attack" at the cabin in Canada. That episode was a classic with some interesting evidence.

My favorite of the TV episodes ever about Bigfoot was the 70s "In Search Of"

If you look these up on YouTube, you can get a lot of these episodes in full.

For a long time now, there's been hype about an upcoming documentary backed by "The Erickson Project" with rumors regularly being circulated about amazing evidence, a toenail, DNA, a dead Bigfoot mom and child. It will be hard to finally release this unless there's something to back it. Otherwise, it's just another Refrigerator BF. I find it hard to believe they would sit on evidence that world-changing without it either truly leaking out or them rushing to present it and make the most bang for the buck on the evidence. I remain very skeptical.

Oh yes, before the Bigfoot hunt coming up, I am enjoying all these videos and contemplating some truths about BF and I think that, like ghosts, if you go after him, intent upon him, thinking about him, searching for him, you will drive him away. I believe that these creatures, like us psychics, can feel intent upon us. Those who happen upon him are not looking, they're hiking, fishing, and camping and thinking about all sorts of things, but not about him....

I'd also like to thank Cliff Barackman from my very favorite new show, "Finding Bigfoot" for reading my LAUGH post parodying his show. He has a great sense of humor besides being intelligent and easy on the eye.

Retro Halloween Creepiness!

Want some more? Here you go --

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Ghost Hunters & That Other Show Which I'm Going To Actually Watch

Another theater (yawn) Taking Maddie the dog with them (New star of the show. Apparently, to their thinking, get rid of a female from the team - Kris, replace her with a new bitch). I get why they use Maddie, but the fact is that she's the most exciting thing to join the cast since the KII meter conversations began and the conversations with an unscrewed flashlight.

I'm actually going to break down and watch this Paranormal Witness episode because its about Bigfoot and y'all know I can't get enough of the BF!

Proof of Dale's Plotting

QUIZ: What Halloween Costume Should You Wear?

It's quiz time again, my dearies. Count your a's, b's, c's and d's and scroll down to find out what costume might be ideal for you at Halloween.

1. I pride myself on the social skills of...
a. Silently staring down people and making them uncomfortable
b. Ignoring folks I don't want to deal with.
c. Charming what I want out of folks.
d. Being current and up on trends.

2. I think Halloween costume parties are...
a. For unsettling people.
b. For horrifying people.
c. For living out fantasies.
d. For having some laughs.

3. In a workplace situation, I tend to...
a. Laugh things off, joke around.
b. Remain invisible, anonymous, quiet.
c. Enjoy chatting and flirting.
d. Work to get status and attention.

4. When it comes to zombie movies, I really enjoyed most...
a. Shaun of the Dead.
b. Night of the Living Dead.
c. Dawn of the Dead.
d. Zombieland.

5. At a Halloween party I most want to...
a. Be anonymous.
b. Get into character.
c. Charm guests.
d. Pickup the opposite sex.

Now, count your a's, b's, c's and d's and find out which one you have the most of, scroll down and see what costume you should wear for a Halloween party. If you get something like 2 a's, 2'b's and 1 c, look at the c answer and see if it's really more a or b for you as a second choice and proceed on.

a. Clown
b. Zombie
c. Vampire
d. Celebrity

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Martha Stewart's Halloween Edition Is Out!

(I kinda feel like this about the Halloween issue of Martha Stewart--The Halloween Issue Is Out--Oh My God)

I still say Martha Stewart seriously needs to get laid, but every Halloween I do appreciate the magazine her talented staff puts out. It's on the shelves now and here's a teaser....

A werewolf-inspired food spread with full-moon quesadillas and mauled cider -

Coffin cake, anyone?

A freaky cool cemetery

There are lots of costume, home decoration/haunt ideas and tons of recipes. There is a recipe spread for a dark tales stormy night supper and plenty of pumpkin ideas for carving.

I have to admit, I think I have every Halloween issue. I put them on my coffee table in September and flip through them. It's just too much fun! Now, all I gotta find is a man who likes Halloween as much as i do and I can start making little ghostie treats and having horror movie nights!

Hellspawn & Dale--Oh No!

On a happier note, had fun at Spirit Halloween again!

Here's guy costumes I find sexy!

If I had a date on Halloween--I would so totally wear this!

Clowns are evil!

LAUGH: "Finding Bigfoot"

Some of y'all are new to my LAUGH series. See the tab at the top that says "LAUGH Comedy Series." I make loving fun of all the paranormal shows.

Today, I decided that I am so in love with the show "Finding Bigfoot" that it begs to be poked fun at by an adoring fan.

(In the woods in the Cascades in Washington State, the team gathers in the darkened forest to look for the elusive Bigfoot creature reported by locals on the mountainside)

RANAE: Man, I'm really glad to be here in my home state on what might be a really awesome hunt.

Matt: (Turning to Cliff) Did you hear something?

Cliff: You mean Ranae speaking?

(frowns) Ranae?

Cliff: (prompts) You know, the female on the team. (seeing Matt's blank stare, he adds) The skeptic.

(bristles) Oh, her.

Bobo: What do you want us to do, huh?

Ranae: If these people said that the creature was as tall as that row of branches down the hillside, perhaps we should have Bobo go down there and wander around and see if we can get a height on this thing.

Matt: (elbows her) I am the leader, here. (thinks) Bobo, let's have you go down the hillside and stand in for Bigfoot, hmm?

(BoBo stomps off down the hillside)

Cliff: Waaaaaaaaaeeeeewwwww! Woooooop! Woooooop! Waaaaaaeeeewwww!

Matt: No, Cliff, it's not time to do a Bigfoot call.

Cliff: (pouts and stomps his foot) I'm better at it in the shower. Or the car. Sometimes, I practice it in the grocery store. Well, back when they used to let me go there. Denny's and IHOP don't like me much either. I'm not welcome back at my grandma's house either. (frowns and shrugs) Come to think of it, my HOA isn't too happy. They came up with some rule on their books about Bigfoot calls.(mumbles)

(A screeching howl is sounded through the hillside, making the team startle)

Cliff: That was totally squatchy!

Matt: Cliff, turn on the thermal imager.

Ranae: Let's not lose our heads, now. It could have been a coyote or possibly a migrating owl from South America (thinks a moment) or a car passing by with a loud radio, an angry bear, a freak wind, or maybe someone with their foot stuck in an automatic door at the Starbucks down the hillside. Just because it's a loud sound in the woods doesn't make it Bigfoot.

(A repeated whooping howl is heard, making the team pivot back and forth, studying the blackened forest)

Matt: Do a Bigfoot call, Cliff!

Cliff: (cups his hands around his mouth and lets out a blood-curdling howl that resonates through the forest) Give me the Flir. (starts scanning the woods around them)

Ranae: Matt, what do you think? (turns to find Matt rushing off through the woods) What is he doing? He's not supposed to run off like that! This is totally unprofessional.

Cliff: (shrugs) He does that from time to time, Ranae. (whispers) His prostate.

Ranae: (sheepish) Oh.

(An ear-splitting howl sounds in the woods again. Cliff returns the call. The call is returned. Cliff screams out again until he's nearly hoarse.)

Matt: (returns) What the hell is all that whooping about?

Ranae: We're responding back and forth with something calling out in the woods.

Matt: (turns to Cliff) Cliff, what is happening?

Cliff: Like Ranae said, I'm calling back and forth with a squatch!

Matt: (puzzled) Ranae?

Cliff: (prompts) You know, the female on the team. The skeptic.

(whooping sounds in the woods again)

Matt: That's a Sasquatch! Didn't I tell you that everywhere I go, I run into him? It's like he's following me! (looks around him a bit paranoid) Just last night in Barnes and Noble, I swear that was him skirting the aisle of vegan cookbooks. And the other day, when I was taking the trash out, I think he was following me, probably sorting through my trash (trembling, wringing his hands) perhaps even learning more about me. Oh, God! I should have shredded my documents!

Ranae: (sighs and huffs) I think someone needs a vacation from squatch hunting.

Matt: Did you hear that? There's that damned voice again!

Ranae: (turns to Cliff as he opens his mouth and stops him) Just let him think it's the voices in his head, for God's sake.

Matt: (steps forward, cups his hands around his mouth) H-ello (he yells). Is anyone out there?

Deep unknown voice: (calls out from within the woods somewhere) Yes, I'm here!

Matt: Did you hear that? My theory that Bigfoot can be trained to speak is right! No one will ever doubt my legitimacy any longer. I will rule the scientific community as the man who taught Sasquatch to speak! Do you know what this means? I can make the speaking circuit for years to come, pump out a few books, have everyone adore me and look up to me. They'll name a national park after me! (raises his finger toward the sky in triumph) Why, I could get another season of my show!

Deep unknown voice: Are you still there?

Matt: (pushes everyone aside and yells out) I'm here! Why are you doing it? Why are you following me everywhere? What do you want from me?

Deep unknown voice: (yells back) Got any Twinkies? Maybe a candy bar? I'm getting hungry.

(Matt and Cliff eagerly go through their pockets)

Matt: Gum? All you have is gum? Bigfoot wants a snack and you offer him gum? (tosses it to the ground)

Ranae: (interrupts) Hey, guys, I got something on the thermal imager!

Cliff: It's squatch! It has a squatchish shape. Look at the height and the strides. That's total squatch, Ranae!

Ranae: What the hell is it doing? (squints at the screen)

Cliff: Look at the heat signature. He's taking a piss! We could get a DNA sample!

Matt: Let's rush him! (runs off and the others stumble behind him).

(Matt and Cliff launch themselves at the huge dark creature and tackle it to the ground, grunting and growling ensue.)

Ranae: This is remarkable! Do you know what the this means? Hold onto him! Let me get a look at it! (turns on the flashlight to show Cliff and Matt pinning a BoBo to the ground, his pants down around his ankles)

BoBo: Dudes, did you bring me the Twinkie?

Monday, September 19, 2011

Real Life Zombie Horror!


There is a Russian drug called "Krokodil" that is a synthetic homemade opiate many times more powerful than heroin. You think the drug biz is a disgusting thing--this is as bad as it gets. It not only makes the mind into a zombie, but it also eats the flesh of the user.

Photographs of late-stage krokodil addicts are disturbing in the extreme. Flesh goes grey and peels away to leave bones exposed. People literally rot to death.

Scary, huh? Sometimes, real life is much more horrifying than fiction.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...