Dale the Doll: Did You Miss Me?


(Funniest Xmas pup on the Internet)

I’ve been around, but laying low. The Human was pretty pissed at me on Halloween. You see, while she was went to bed after the slim-pickings of Trick-or-Treaters left, she curled up in the bed and fell into an exhausted sleep.

So, that’s when my possessed side took over. You know, I have no control over the crazy dead wizard dude who keeps trying to take me over each October. Well, apparently the possessed me managed to braid her hair into the headboard and when she woke up and tried to lift up her head, her scream could be heard around the world. So, if you heard a yell during Halloween night, it was the Human.

She put me atop this display shelving in her office (above) with the other dolls. Don’t mind it so much. Skittles and I have been doing okay, because apparently he gets rather quiet when it’s not the scary season. He really hates Christmas even more than me. If the human plays the radio and there’s Christmas music, Skittles shudders and moans. When she goes onto Max Evel to see the dark Christmas vids, he chuckles. Go figure! I think he really loved that video about Santa being a dick. I gotta admit, it made me snort with mirth.

What’s the plan for Dale, you ask? My next project is to get the Human published. Why? Because she isn't dating yet and she's always underfoot. I figure if she's more busy and distracted, she might not notice that I figured out how to climb down from the shelving unit. I have no fear of heights, but I’m not all that coordinated, so it was a task, but I did it. In fact, the reason I’m using her laptop right now is that I got down during the night and snuck onto it. I nearly woke her up. She has her old bed leaned up in the hallway waiting for it to be hauled away and I ran into the wooden posts and knocked them over. She rushed out to see what it was and I had to hide behind the mattress. I nearly smothered!

So, my goal is to keep the Human busy, out of my hair and let me run the apartment with Skittles as my henchman and the pretty dolly girls as my companions. We will rule the place and I might even let Skittles watch “The View,” his favorite freaking show. I know better than to show him horror movies. He likes to act them out. I’m risky but I’m not stupid.

I just wanted my followers to know that I am now mobile and determined to continue my communications with you humans so I can better figure out how to deal with your kind.

Comments

  1. In answer to your Blog Title question.

    NO !

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  2. Max, we're just alike, buddy, both little demons.

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  3. I'm thinking I like Max Evel, especially since we agree.

    Dale, you little moulded plastic fireplace log, still thinking you are some scary dude. Yawn. You'll have to do beter than this.

    Oooo, "Skittles in my minion." Yah, right. You're afraid of Skittle shadow and he's is your minion? You fool.....no one.

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  4. Mr. Smoking Monkey;
    You probably don't think I'm all that smart, but I figured out to use my own account too answer your snotty comment as Dale and not use the Human's ugly face on my comment. So, just watch and see what kind of threat I can be. You're lucky you're a monkey and not a human. I'd have to put you high on my harassing list if you were human.

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  5. The Monkey Man has raised key points Dale, and I've got matches !

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  6. Dale and matches, it's a treat.

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  7. I knew you figured out how to get down when I heard noises behind the couch the last time I spent the night. You better not mess with me little plaster mister or I will side with Max and MM.

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  8. Dale the Doll is no one's bitch. Skittles is my bitch, I tell you! Max, you keep threatening me with matches and I'm not scared. You'll never get me alone with a book of matches so nah nah na nah nah

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  9. The matches are for the blow torch.

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  10. Max, (this is Autumnforest). Thanks for telling him that! He is getting really cocky lately. I believe someone needs to put him in his place.

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  11. I've got a special place for him alright.

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  12. i am the opposite... dale you rock, evil in within phooey... i sense your pain... all you doll haters, keep on hatin'... dale you always can live with me... i think you might have trouble in the airport scanners, wait you would not be walking in them... or would you?
    ;)
    iZombie

    not all sure if i am in the right place, love your doll, love yourself forum? lol

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  13. izombie;
    I think you're the only one in Dale's fan club. He can be a real pisser, but so long as I keep my eye on him, he doesn't get into too much sleep. Only problem is, at some point, I have to sleep too. I heard him shuffling down the hallway last night. I'm smart enough to lock my door now. One time he filmed me while sleeping in October and put it on the blog.

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  14. ohhhh, the voices in my head... kill, kill, kill or eat a sandwich... mmmm sandwich... beast is gone... thank you dale... the voices or calm... or are they? [dramatic music]
    ;)
    iZombie

    ReplyDelete

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